Letting Go of Resentments

Letting go of the past and the people in it that don't serve us is not easy yet it is possible to start over each time.  The thing about life is that we will be hurt and experience situations that will be hurtful.  Holding on to resentments is "like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die".  When we realize that the path to moving on and healing is right in front of us we can being to heal in ways we never imagined.  There are some simple ways to moving on and healing the resentments.  Here are a few: 

Be forgiving: 
Forgiveness is more about your highest good than anyone else.  The path to forgiveness really starts with you and the very first thing to do is to forgive yourself.  Making statements that are specific around forgiveness will help you to heal yourself and let go of any resentments: "I forgive myself for believing that I did not deserve better in my life", "I forgive myself for falsely believing that I was stupid for staying in an unloving and abusive relationship for so long".  These and other forgiveness statements will help you to heal yourself and adding the truth completes the process of forgiving: "The truth is that I am worthy of being in a respectful and loving relationship from now on".  In addition to forgiveness feeding our mind positive thoughts helps to lift us out of the darkness we place ourselves when we are hurt.  

Become Empathetic: 
The person who hurt you is likely in their own personal pain.  Do your best to be sympathetic and understanding, knowing that when people are injured they act out in ways that are not kind.  Becoming empathetic towards the person who hurt you makes them human and hence makes it easier to understand what he or she did to hurt you.  There is always self-hate involved when people do things that are unloving and unkind.  Rather than to hold a grudge we must do our best to send healing light to those people who are likely in a lot of pain.  

Focus on your self-healing: 
Decide that the next step in your life is to heal yourself by doing everything you can to find your inner peace.  Read books that are positive and related to how you are feeling.  Take the time to write your feelings down each day, including the things you are grateful for.  Find a support group that is aligned to what you need in this moment.  Start a class or a project that you have been wanting to do for a while.  

Be OK with being alone: 
If we jump from one situation to another before our spirit is ready we will not know what it is like to be happy without depending on someone else.  Many of us jump from one situation to the next in search of healing by being with someone who gives us attention or falsely thinking that someone can help us to heal the resentments or the sadness.  The truth is that we are just looking for a distraction and we find it in another person so quickly we fail to find our own healing agent.  Intentionally staying alone is the best way to heal ourselves in a way that is more permanent and complete.  No one can heal us except our self.  Taking the time to be alone and heal is likely the best way to heal from the past.  

Letting go is not easy.  
In fact, it is a journey and we must be patient along the way.  Taking one step at a time and doing so slowly is a sure way to heal.  Knowing that the people are usually ones that do not intend to hurt us but rather to hurt themselves places their actions in their lap rather than ours.  We tend to take things personally when in fact people's actions are their own,  most times having nothing to do with us.  When we forgive and try to understand others we create a place of healing and compassion.  We can never change anyone else but ourselves and by focusing on our own healing we change the person we have the power to change: our self.  






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