Coach Elliott

I believe that after out bodily death that our spirit lives forever unless we come back to live a second bodily life.  I would like to think that if I come back I will be so wealthy as to never be concerned about working a day in that life.  I also love the idea of living in spirit for eternity even more.  Some may say that this is a fantasy others of us have made up to make ourselves feel good about dying. Perhaps that is true yet for me I feel it to be a truth and if it turns out to be a lie I know I will be OK with it.  The way that I view it nothing gained nothing lost. What we know is that we are here in body temporarily and that it ages and becomes so used as to break down, eventually asking us to separate from it.  For some it does not happen this way becasue of other causes of death but still when they die their spirit seperates from their body.  Basically it is when the body is worn or it no longer needs to be used that we seperate from it. ...

'Death: a joyful end to a life". "I hope I live forever, just not this time". E.Collazo I am a genius I am sure given those lines above.  I don't know how they came to me but boy am I fuckng smart.  Stand back everyone, Elliott is on fire.  Encendido. Now that I have shared that and gotten it off my chest I want to continue my most morbid and revealing blogs ever.  Well, maybe not as big as I think them to be and or what I really believe is "morbid".  I will allow others to be their own judge of it.  In the meantime I am writing like it's a glorious novel.

I think that the messenger of death should be a full on Rihanna in angel wings.  Either her, Beyonce or JLo.  In the movies the messenger is usually someone devil like who I think scares you to death.  When I was younger I watched a soap opera called "Dark Shadows"  and in it were a cast of characters who were cute but they were all vampires.  From one moment to the next one did not know who would turn up as a vampire.  I must say it kept me on the edge of my seat while at the same time feeding this false notion that some day some evil entity like a vampire would come to take me to my death.  Later I replaced that with the devil because as some know I am a "recovering Catholic".  I felt like there needed to be some dark interpretation of death that had nothing to do with reality so for a long time I feared death in the same way I feared vampires and devils.  I am not sure if this is not so far from people's thoughts about death even now. ...

I cannot remember a more dark time in my life than when my father left my mother.  She was angry and I did not know why until one day she looked at me and stated: "you look just like your father" and then left the room in not just a dismissive manner but one that sent me the memo that I was not good enough, in fact I was flawed.  It was likely then that I decided I would make her wrong but what I did not  know was that no matter what I said or did I would never be enough.  To her dying day my mother did not admit to any wrong doing never mind that she'd abused me emotionally and physically.  I forgave me mother a long time ago, knowing that she did the best she could.  Yet I will never completely forget the many times I wished myself dead.  As it turns out my youngest sister committed suicide and what I know now is that I am a survivor and that there is much to be grateful for.  Three degrees later: a BA in Education, An MA in Administration and a...

Each and every blog about death brings me closer to understanding it and sharing it with others.  Processing this is someting that I think we should all do, especially if we are seasoned people on this earth, like I am.  Note: I did not use the word old or older.  I think that death is often feared and sometimes dreaded.  It is likely that those of us who fear it and dread it may die in that very state of being.  We have all heard and seen situations of death that are hard to look at because the person struggles with the thought of dying while we have also witnessed those who seem to die with dignity and with a sense of joy and surrender.  Of course we are not sure how we will pass from this earth to the magical realm yet it is in how we live that we will most likely take our journey home. We have all had our issues and we have all been dealt some cards that we would have rather not been dealt.  Yet is seems some of us can overcome just about anythin...

I recently read that if you want more readers to your blog that humor is essential.  The person also shared that being too serious was not a good idea.  It reminded me of how fucking superficial we are. We love to talk on the surface and we often times hate dealing with our deep emotions.  We don't like to be deep because it makes us feel responsible when we'd rather just ignore the big pink elephant taking a shit in the living room.  Until we smell the feces we act as though the elephant is not there.  I get it and so those of you who like to be on the surface have my permission to stay there and not read my blogs because in all honesty I will not tailor my blogs so that most people can digest them.  OMG, did I say that shit out loud? With all that said let me once again visit a subject we often avoid, death.  Death is so under-rated my friends.  I for one want to dance and sing when someone dies right after I sob for a while.  My own sist...

I have for a very long time been reading a book by Wayne Dyer called "The Power Of Intention" and in it he addresses the profound question of death.  This book, which I would recommend to others is a study in living with intention and becoming clear as to why we are here and why we can graciously die, ending a life in body but not in spirit.  Death has been something that I have thought about all my life and I think it was because I had a difficult upbringing, often times feeling neglected and abused.  Although there were times when it scared me I now understand that there is really nothing to fear. According to Wayne Dyer death is something we have been preparing for all of our lives.  Yet my contention is that we live life as if we are not going to ever die and more importantly as if we were invincible.  Many of us live a life eating things that are toxic, doing things that are emotionally damaging and being with people who abuse us.  It is as though we...

I am sure that I am not the expert on being Latino yet I cannot help but know that I have lived in this body and I have discovered some sad facts about our society and how we claim to be liberal and yet the truth is that we are not.  Many of the people who live in this country and voted for Trump are not just Republicans but literally KKK members and White Supremacist.  We don't like to talk about these realities in our country because after all how could we have had a man like Trump make it into the White House when he has little to no credentials.  Yet in spite of it we are now dealing with a person who redefines arrogance and who openly says and does things that most of us would get into deep trouble for or actually be imprisoned. This country is full of racism and discrimination of every kind but I want to specifically talk about how Latinos have been stereotyped and targeted,  many times being grouped as all Mexicans.  We who are Latinos come from many pa...

This is a continuation of a series of "being Latinos" blogs.  This is my personal journey and observations around being Latino and experiencing my own people.  It is not meant to be a documentary with statistics and proof that may justify my journey in life as a Latino man.  If this type of conversation is uncomfortable to anyone I would like to invite you to not read it.  I won't couch things for the comfort of anyone so that they can feel OK with my personal and profound experiences as a Latino.  Thank you. Americans would like others to think that racism no longer exists.  My favorite response is that we are more about status than race, making the argument that we are more discriminatory of people who are poor or lack education or status of some kind.  I disagree and know that racism is alive and thriving.  We need only look at the Trump supporters and the fact that we have a president that is a huge criminal to understand that racism is aliv...

Today it seems there is this charge inside of me to discuss my culture and what I deem is being threatened and minimized by others and by my own people.  These blogs will explore the intimate feelings that I have in regards to being Latino and my observations.  With that said I would like to continue to explore the notion that we as Latinos have a need to reclaim our culture and know that passing it on to our children is not just important but crucial.   I think we should marry whom we love and it not be base on race or color yet realistically that much of the time there is a built in issue when we marry outside of our culture.  Although it is not true in every case we Latinos must understand that when we marry into the Caucasian race we must become even more adamant about our children learning Spanish and honoring their roots.  Many times when we marry "whites" we forget the importance of our children learning the customs, history and ways of our people. ...

My close friends and family know that I don't like the word Hispanics and frankly find it to be too soft a word for me.  I like the word Latinos because I feel as though it is in your face and one that suits me much better.  I admit that when one uses the word in Spanish I like the sound better but still not adequate for me like the word Latinos. I love being a Latino and everything about it.  I love my language, my food, my customs and my history.  As a man who is part Puertorican, Spaniard, Italian and Indian I feel a kinship to every aspect of who I am as a Latino man.  I especially love my music, whether boleros, Spanish guitar, salsa, merengue, bachata and even requeton.  I feel like I have a rich history and a beautiful culture that I can be proud of.  My grandmother and great grandmother  taught me to be a gentleman and to honor who I am, dark brown skin included.  Every day for me is an opportunity to share the unique person that I ...

Perhaps like millions of other people you too are on some dating sight in hope of meeting someone wonderful.  In fact some of you are downright delusional like I was, thinking that you are going to meet that perfect guy or girl.  While some have gone so far as to pick an application where you simply scroll to the left with a yes or a no, others have picked dating sites that have literally ended in a woman being abused and sometimes being killed.  There are likely little to no dating sites that do any sort of background check so one could be meeting the biggest sex offender or even someone who has beat on women and just out of jail.  Although we may believe that dating online is safe, it is really risky to put it mildly.  On some sites they even warn us that we should do our own background check and they are totally right about that part.  They are not going to spend the money to do any background checks and don't really care that there are many unsafe peopl...

I have recenlty deleted people from my FB or unfollowed them as well as some of my phone contacts.  I did this in honor of myself and so that I am not tempted to look back.  Looking back is continuing to communicate with people who rarely or ever are reciprocal.  Although it may seem cruel to some taking people off of our lists and accepting them for who they are is growth.  It is indeed more mature to take people off your list of loves than to continue to beat a dead horse, expecting them to be somthing they are not.  As I have shared before there are givers and then there are takers and what I know of life is that there are many more takers. Andrew was a middle aged man and had lost his wife not long before he met another woman who I will call Aida.  Aida was a nice woman who was initially very overt and quite forward.  Although Andrew felt a little uncomfortable by her going from zero to sixty he remained steadfast in giving her a chance to reveal...

When each of us is born we are born authentic.  We are born with this openness to be vulnerable because we are.  It is in that moment that we begin to form our perception of how others respond to our needs and the touch of our mother is the most meaningful part of of life in that moment.  We are so vulnerable that we simply respond to the loving and nurturing parts of the universe and we only need witness the smile on a baby's face to realize that all we need is for others to be authentic and loving to us.  Yet over the years many of us lose that ability to be authentic, to be who we are and to express our needs.  In fact we form a barrier because we censor our feelings and we hold onto the pain so much as to become like actors in a movie.  We fall prey to this notion that if we seem together then we will be and if we play as though all is well then it will be. Becoming our authentic self requires a few simple things none of which are difficult and these ...

In Buddhism there is a saying "Don't Ever Give Up". In fact I bought a bright red t-shirt that says this on the chest.  Life is going to hand us a few curve balls and sometimes those curves are treacherous and hard to handle.  At other times those things that happen to us seem outright aweful and we wonder why and even question our faith.  We may ask: "Why is this happening to me?"  We can even be justified in thinking that this is a fucked up situation that we would rather not have to deal with.  This is what I believe: Every situation and experience has a lesson in it.  Until we learn the lesson we might continue to experience the same unpleasant thing.  If we have not learned to not be around abusive people then we move on to another abusive person.  If we have not understood what sugar does to our body then we continue to eat unhealthy amounts of it until we may become diabetics.  Every thing that we experience has a message built into...

There are many people out there who will when asked if they are romantic, yes.  What I know is that there are so few people who can back this response of yes with specific examples of how they are romantic.  Being romantic has a certain level of intimacy that goes along with it and intimacy is not our favorite feeling.  In fact, I have seen where many people lack intimacy and are in fact fearful of showing their true feelings.  If we intend to be romantic then we must consider: Becoming Vulnerable:  Avoiding intimacy is akin to avoiding romance or showing you love someone in a way that is unique and is open hearted.  Taking a look at our own vulnerability will tell us a lot about our ability to become romantic in a way that is genuine and real.  The more we are willing to be vulnerable the more we feel free to express romantic love with another person.  When we avoid romance we are telling ourselves that we are unwilling to be vulnerable becaus...

I rarely feel loneliness.  I think it is because I have learned to be alone and do the things I love to do while alone, whether it is sitting with a book on my deck or taking a bike ride in nature.  Learning to be alone has been my best life lesson because indeed it has opened up a new world of loving my own company and acknowledging myself.  I don't need another person to validate me or to be with although I enjoy being with my family or a close friend often enough.  The nice part about being single and living alone is that I get to do as I like each and every day, it not being contingent of someone else's needs or wants which often times can be burdensome for us.  Being alone is not the same as being lonely as one person recently pointed out to me who is married.  Being alone is being in our own company and enjoying each and ever moment.  Here are some wonderful tips on how to enjoy your own company: Select a daily activity:  Although I don't...

Today is one of those days when I feel a bit sarcastic and a funny.  My inner child wants to come out and play.  My granddaughter Isabella who is now almost 8 is with me for a few days and it's all about allowing my little kid to come out and play.  She always brings out this silly character that is inside of me with an Indian accent who is her driver-chauffeur.  She pretends to be my employer and at times she treats me like the help, all in jest and fun.  Being with her makes me think in a way that I can only express as: "I don't give a shit".  I don't think about myself, I get out of my head and intellect and go into my heart place, a spot where I feel free and clear of any problems or issues of any kind. When I am in that place of not giving a shit about anything I am also in a place of abandon.  It is not easy to go there but being with a child facilitates it for me.  I believe I go back to that place of childhood because of all the pain I e...

There is a justification to hurt others in this notion of "an eye for an eye".  I think that people take it a bit too literally and yet one can understand that kind of thinking, a wish for any person who has wronged us pay for it equally.  But my friends this is not the way it really works: People who done you wrong will see their own demise and there is nothing more simple than karma.  We may believe that we can get by with all the wrong doings to others but the reality is that we cannot.  One day we will all pay for the injustices and pain we intentionally exposed others to. Here is my saying: "what goes around comes around".  It seems very similar to an eye for an eye but it's not the same at all.  This saying comes from the perception that we don't have to do anything because life is circular and eventually we all suffer the wrath of that life lesson of "what goes around comes around".  I cannot recall a time when I did not think this.  Each...

Sometimes my sister and I will joke around and say that we are as intentional as a bull in the bullfighting ring.  We get focused on that red cape and we honor every single movement without looking to the side.  That is the way that I would describe the way that I have lived for many years: with intention. I intend to serve others, I intend to live in a clean and beautiful space, I intend to wear clothing that is breathable and in fabrics that are impeccable and I intend to live fully and with as much joy as I can imagine.  I know that for me the lack of intention is something of concern and that when I don't live intentionally I lose sight of what life really means. When we live in intention we live in the now.  We can have the intention of doing something next week and that is fine but there is truly nothing more powerful than living in the intentional moment and time, focusing on what is happening now and living it fully with the purpose to enjoy it.  Whe...

I was recently prompted by a woman who eluded to my being judgmental and sighting my being a life coach.  I could easily put her comments under the same typical category of people who believe that a life coach is a saint.  I beg to differ and share that not only am I not a saint I am likely the most real life coach you will ever meet.  My background comes from years of working with people and children as an educator and administrator and an MA in Spiritual Psychology.  I have never mixed words and I often share that my best training and education in life has been that of being a dad to two wonderful daughters.  With all that said I would like to share that unlike many Americans I have never struggled with alcohol addiction, yet what I know is that it's a serious problem in America and that it is the reason for many deaths of others who don't drink, including children who have died as a result of a parent drinking and driving.  Hence this is not a soft subje...