It's OK You're Going To Die
I think that the messenger of death should be a full on Rihanna in angel wings. Either her, Beyonce or JLo. In the movies the messenger is usually someone devil like who I think scares you to death. When I was younger I watched a soap opera called "Dark Shadows" and in it were a cast of characters who were cute but they were all vampires. From one moment to the next one did not know who would turn up as a vampire. I must say it kept me on the edge of my seat while at the same time feeding this false notion that some day some evil entity like a vampire would come to take me to my death. Later I replaced that with the devil because as some know I am a "recovering Catholic". I felt like there needed to be some dark interpretation of death that had nothing to do with reality so for a long time I feared death in the same way I feared vampires and devils. I am not sure if this is not so far from people's thoughts about death even now. It is dark, it is evil, it will come for you and you will suffer. That is a summary some would attribute do truth.
Today I continue to feel compelled to discuss death as if it were more like "pass the butter bitch" than OMG I don't wanna die yet. Today I continue this mission of sharing my understanding around death while making it less and less of a charge in my life. Now I understand that the only way to look at death is right in the face and that all these dark fears were simply false. I want to help others understand where that all manifested in me and how it looks to me in hope of helping others understand death and perhaps consider celebrating it instead of making it so sad and final. I don't expect anyone to think of death and least of all to celebrate it with a dance or a jig of some kind. What I want to do is instill a viewpoint that might be a little less dreary and dark. A view of death that is more about life. A reflection of death that moves us to become happier and do the things we have wanted to do with the mind set that after all, we don't have forever to do it.
Some people want nothing more than to know how many people will grieve them and how long. I am not one of them. I am the guy who wants every girl to put on a strapless black dress with a heart shaped design and heels that are as high and as nude as possible. I want people to dance at my memorial and don't want to have a wake or a burial. My my my, did I say that? Yes I did. I know that the people who matter will think me to be as good a person as I was in life and that the people I have mentored may think my wise. It does not matter if it is true or not, just that all the lovely thoughts not be the reason that I die "in peace". I won't be kicking and screaming but I love the thought of someone sharing a story about me that is both fabulous and ridiculous. All I really want is for people to think of me as the most OCD guy with the best taste or that they dance salsa because they know how much I would enjoy that music. In fact I have made sure of much of this because I have shared my desire for all things happy and beautiful at a memorial in a specific location where the people who attend can step outside and spread my ashes. I know I am likely perceived as morbid and it is as it should be I guess because there is some truth to that thought. I say don't worry about your legacy, create your own by writing about it and planning your own farewell.
Death is a rather serious yet funny subject for me. I don't want to die but I know I will. I don't want to be morbid about it but I am. I don't want people to feel sorry for me so I don't. Death is death like life is life my friends. We are born, we live as much as we are to live and then we move on. This may be a scary fact for some but I want to invite a breath of freshness to the concept of death and that is that it is a joyful end to life.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
Today I continue to feel compelled to discuss death as if it were more like "pass the butter bitch" than OMG I don't wanna die yet. Today I continue this mission of sharing my understanding around death while making it less and less of a charge in my life. Now I understand that the only way to look at death is right in the face and that all these dark fears were simply false. I want to help others understand where that all manifested in me and how it looks to me in hope of helping others understand death and perhaps consider celebrating it instead of making it so sad and final. I don't expect anyone to think of death and least of all to celebrate it with a dance or a jig of some kind. What I want to do is instill a viewpoint that might be a little less dreary and dark. A view of death that is more about life. A reflection of death that moves us to become happier and do the things we have wanted to do with the mind set that after all, we don't have forever to do it.
Some people want nothing more than to know how many people will grieve them and how long. I am not one of them. I am the guy who wants every girl to put on a strapless black dress with a heart shaped design and heels that are as high and as nude as possible. I want people to dance at my memorial and don't want to have a wake or a burial. My my my, did I say that? Yes I did. I know that the people who matter will think me to be as good a person as I was in life and that the people I have mentored may think my wise. It does not matter if it is true or not, just that all the lovely thoughts not be the reason that I die "in peace". I won't be kicking and screaming but I love the thought of someone sharing a story about me that is both fabulous and ridiculous. All I really want is for people to think of me as the most OCD guy with the best taste or that they dance salsa because they know how much I would enjoy that music. In fact I have made sure of much of this because I have shared my desire for all things happy and beautiful at a memorial in a specific location where the people who attend can step outside and spread my ashes. I know I am likely perceived as morbid and it is as it should be I guess because there is some truth to that thought. I say don't worry about your legacy, create your own by writing about it and planning your own farewell.
Death is a rather serious yet funny subject for me. I don't want to die but I know I will. I don't want to be morbid about it but I am. I don't want people to feel sorry for me so I don't. Death is death like life is life my friends. We are born, we live as much as we are to live and then we move on. This may be a scary fact for some but I want to invite a breath of freshness to the concept of death and that is that it is a joyful end to life.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
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