Why Do You Drink?
I was recently prompted by a woman who eluded to my being judgmental and sighting my being a life coach. I could easily put her comments under the same typical category of people who believe that a life coach is a saint. I beg to differ and share that not only am I not a saint I am likely the most real life coach you will ever meet. My background comes from years of working with people and children as an educator and administrator and an MA in Spiritual Psychology. I have never mixed words and I often share that my best training and education in life has been that of being a dad to two wonderful daughters. With all that said I would like to share that unlike many Americans I have never struggled with alcohol addiction, yet what I know is that it's a serious problem in America and that it is the reason for many deaths of others who don't drink, including children who have died as a result of a parent drinking and driving. Hence this is not a soft subject but moreover and very hard core subject. I would like to thank the person who prompted this blog because like many people and their opinions I use them to catapult me forward.
People drink for many reasons but there are some basic ones that we cannot continue to ignore. Here are some:
1. It is socially acceptable:
People drink because it is so acceptable to drink. It has become a basic fact that when people are social they have "cocktails". We have what we call "cocktail parties" where we get dressed up and we drink and talk our heads off. Although there is nothing wrong with having a drink or two, often times these simple parties elicit situations where people are drunk and do and say things that are not appropriate. Even when this happens we don't seem very concerned and in fact once the drunk person is removed or leaves we don't give it a second thought. It has become all to typical to attend a party based on drinking even if it is in excess-ion and someone leaved drunk and going to drive. The socially acceptable status of alcohol and drinking is mind blowing for those of us who understand the huge impact drinking has had on all of us and our children.
2. It allegedly helps us deal with our emotions:
People don't always like to feel their feelings. Many of us have not addressed our feelings or the awful things that happened to us as children. We find it easy to consume alcohol as a way to forget and believe we will feel better. Although this is a temporary fix for some in the end alcohol does not take the past away nor is it a healing agent. We must try to address the feelings that provoke us to drink and uncover the past pain in order to heal it in a way that is healthy versus unhealthy. None of us will get rid of the pain we feel with any kind of mood alerting drug and while some of us understand that we drink without regard for that truth.
3. It helps us with our inhibitions:
Yes, alcohol will help us to bring down the walls. The problem is that some of us cannot control how much we drink and how far down the wall will fall. In fact many people will drink to the point where they will say and do things that they often regret the next day. Believing that alcohol will help us to communicate better or appear more appealing is part of the myth around drinking and having fun. While drinking will put down the walls and we may dance when we would otherwise not dance, it is dangerous to believe that we can cure our insecurities with a drink. On occasions when I have drank too much what I have known is that the person I became was not the person that I am and although there was never a struggle with addiction to alcohol I knew there and then that I could have said something offensive or done something dangerous. We must understand that drinking does not just help let down our walls, it is a false sense of self-confidence and only serves to stuff down the real issues.
4. It is healthy:
It has been studied that some amount of wine is good for us, something about our blood. This may or may not be true yet to say that it does for everyone seems a bit odd to me. Why do we want to make alcohol into a healthy food choice? For people who are addicted this would seem to be a concern for them, because it can excuse their addiction. There is overall nothing healthy about consuming alcohol. That is just the truth. And even if there is why would we want to undermine the fact that the use of alcohol is truly turned into a worldwide problem.
I am a life coach and so for me there is no formula that says that alcohol is a good thing. My work with people who have struggled with addiction of any type is that they want to heal in some way. I intend to continue to be honest with my clients who have this kind of concern in their life and work with them to heal the part in them that needs an application of love not a drink. The struggle with alcohol addicition is not to be downplayed and minimized. It is real and while there are many who can drink and be highly funnctional there are millions who have had their life blown away by it. Only we can decide where we fall in the spectrum.
ELLIOTT MAXIMO COLLAZO
People drink for many reasons but there are some basic ones that we cannot continue to ignore. Here are some:
1. It is socially acceptable:
People drink because it is so acceptable to drink. It has become a basic fact that when people are social they have "cocktails". We have what we call "cocktail parties" where we get dressed up and we drink and talk our heads off. Although there is nothing wrong with having a drink or two, often times these simple parties elicit situations where people are drunk and do and say things that are not appropriate. Even when this happens we don't seem very concerned and in fact once the drunk person is removed or leaves we don't give it a second thought. It has become all to typical to attend a party based on drinking even if it is in excess-ion and someone leaved drunk and going to drive. The socially acceptable status of alcohol and drinking is mind blowing for those of us who understand the huge impact drinking has had on all of us and our children.
2. It allegedly helps us deal with our emotions:
People don't always like to feel their feelings. Many of us have not addressed our feelings or the awful things that happened to us as children. We find it easy to consume alcohol as a way to forget and believe we will feel better. Although this is a temporary fix for some in the end alcohol does not take the past away nor is it a healing agent. We must try to address the feelings that provoke us to drink and uncover the past pain in order to heal it in a way that is healthy versus unhealthy. None of us will get rid of the pain we feel with any kind of mood alerting drug and while some of us understand that we drink without regard for that truth.
3. It helps us with our inhibitions:
Yes, alcohol will help us to bring down the walls. The problem is that some of us cannot control how much we drink and how far down the wall will fall. In fact many people will drink to the point where they will say and do things that they often regret the next day. Believing that alcohol will help us to communicate better or appear more appealing is part of the myth around drinking and having fun. While drinking will put down the walls and we may dance when we would otherwise not dance, it is dangerous to believe that we can cure our insecurities with a drink. On occasions when I have drank too much what I have known is that the person I became was not the person that I am and although there was never a struggle with addiction to alcohol I knew there and then that I could have said something offensive or done something dangerous. We must understand that drinking does not just help let down our walls, it is a false sense of self-confidence and only serves to stuff down the real issues.
4. It is healthy:
It has been studied that some amount of wine is good for us, something about our blood. This may or may not be true yet to say that it does for everyone seems a bit odd to me. Why do we want to make alcohol into a healthy food choice? For people who are addicted this would seem to be a concern for them, because it can excuse their addiction. There is overall nothing healthy about consuming alcohol. That is just the truth. And even if there is why would we want to undermine the fact that the use of alcohol is truly turned into a worldwide problem.
I am a life coach and so for me there is no formula that says that alcohol is a good thing. My work with people who have struggled with addiction of any type is that they want to heal in some way. I intend to continue to be honest with my clients who have this kind of concern in their life and work with them to heal the part in them that needs an application of love not a drink. The struggle with alcohol addicition is not to be downplayed and minimized. It is real and while there are many who can drink and be highly funnctional there are millions who have had their life blown away by it. Only we can decide where we fall in the spectrum.
ELLIOTT MAXIMO COLLAZO
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