Are You Romantic?
There are many people out there who will when asked if they are romantic, yes. What I know is that there are so few people who can back this response of yes with specific examples of how they are romantic. Being romantic has a certain level of intimacy that goes along with it and intimacy is not our favorite feeling. In fact, I have seen where many people lack intimacy and are in fact fearful of showing their true feelings. If we intend to be romantic then we must consider:
Becoming Vulnerable:
Avoiding intimacy is akin to avoiding romance or showing you love someone in a way that is unique and is open hearted. Taking a look at our own vulnerability will tell us a lot about our ability to become romantic in a way that is genuine and real. The more we are willing to be vulnerable the more we feel free to express romantic love with another person. When we avoid romance we are telling ourselves that we are unwilling to be vulnerable because the message is that this is a weakness. In fact, becoming your inner heart centered self requires us to be OK with letting go of control and moving into fully loving others. The only think we need to do is say YES to relinquishing control of our feelings of love and saying NO to anything that blocks that highest energy of kindness, compassion and love.
Becoming Spontaneous:
Being romantic is not something we need to wait for a holiday to express. Although Hallmark may make us believe that Valentine's Day is when we need to express that romantic inner person I beg to differ. Become spontaneous in expressing romance and allow yourself to demonstrate that any time of the day, any day of the week and whenever you are feeling it. When you do something romantic like filling the tub for your partner or coming home with roses you are being in your authentic self and doing what you feel when you feel it. And even if you don't feel romantic, you can do something romantic with intention. Hey, put of a slow song and dance with your wife or husband. Invite those spontaneous moments into your relationship at any time.
Ceasing The Opportunity:
Sometimes our partners are demonstrating a need for romance. We can cease the chance to be romantic and loving if we are in awareness around their subtle messages. Being aware of how someone else looks interested is part of being tuned into romance when it appears. Try not to pass up the chance to respond to romance because that my friends is a demonstration to others that you get it and are inviting it again and again. Showing appreciation however minor is key to encouraging those moments when one can take the opportunity to be in a state of romantic love.
Making Our Own Rules:
There are not rules about romance. Make your own rules. Decide you will be romantic in an unusual manner. Become creative with your way of romancing your partner. Don't follow the typical rules that may be off putting to you but also don't allow rules to make you believe you just cannot measure up. You are as loving as everyone else. You can be that partner who is known for their over the top, silly, unique way of expressing love.
Being Authentic:
Being real about who we are is important. If you feel you are just not romantic then be honest and say that before someone gets involved with you that expects romance or sees that character trait as important, and many people do, especially women. Check in and ask yourself if not being romantic is an excuse not to do the work that is involved in a romantic relationship. Perhaps you are uncomfortable showing your feelings in that kind of overt manner that makes us vulnerable and that many women need from men.
Coach Elliott
Becoming Vulnerable:
Avoiding intimacy is akin to avoiding romance or showing you love someone in a way that is unique and is open hearted. Taking a look at our own vulnerability will tell us a lot about our ability to become romantic in a way that is genuine and real. The more we are willing to be vulnerable the more we feel free to express romantic love with another person. When we avoid romance we are telling ourselves that we are unwilling to be vulnerable because the message is that this is a weakness. In fact, becoming your inner heart centered self requires us to be OK with letting go of control and moving into fully loving others. The only think we need to do is say YES to relinquishing control of our feelings of love and saying NO to anything that blocks that highest energy of kindness, compassion and love.
Becoming Spontaneous:
Being romantic is not something we need to wait for a holiday to express. Although Hallmark may make us believe that Valentine's Day is when we need to express that romantic inner person I beg to differ. Become spontaneous in expressing romance and allow yourself to demonstrate that any time of the day, any day of the week and whenever you are feeling it. When you do something romantic like filling the tub for your partner or coming home with roses you are being in your authentic self and doing what you feel when you feel it. And even if you don't feel romantic, you can do something romantic with intention. Hey, put of a slow song and dance with your wife or husband. Invite those spontaneous moments into your relationship at any time.
Ceasing The Opportunity:
Sometimes our partners are demonstrating a need for romance. We can cease the chance to be romantic and loving if we are in awareness around their subtle messages. Being aware of how someone else looks interested is part of being tuned into romance when it appears. Try not to pass up the chance to respond to romance because that my friends is a demonstration to others that you get it and are inviting it again and again. Showing appreciation however minor is key to encouraging those moments when one can take the opportunity to be in a state of romantic love.
Making Our Own Rules:
There are not rules about romance. Make your own rules. Decide you will be romantic in an unusual manner. Become creative with your way of romancing your partner. Don't follow the typical rules that may be off putting to you but also don't allow rules to make you believe you just cannot measure up. You are as loving as everyone else. You can be that partner who is known for their over the top, silly, unique way of expressing love.
Being Authentic:
Being real about who we are is important. If you feel you are just not romantic then be honest and say that before someone gets involved with you that expects romance or sees that character trait as important, and many people do, especially women. Check in and ask yourself if not being romantic is an excuse not to do the work that is involved in a romantic relationship. Perhaps you are uncomfortable showing your feelings in that kind of overt manner that makes us vulnerable and that many women need from men.
Coach Elliott
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