Online Dating? No
Perhaps like millions of other people you too are on some dating sight in hope of meeting someone wonderful. In fact some of you are downright delusional like I was, thinking that you are going to meet that perfect guy or girl. While some have gone so far as to pick an application where you simply scroll to the left with a yes or a no, others have picked dating sites that have literally ended in a woman being abused and sometimes being killed. There are likely little to no dating sites that do any sort of background check so one could be meeting the biggest sex offender or even someone who has beat on women and just out of jail. Although we may believe that dating online is safe, it is really risky to put it mildly. On some sites they even warn us that we should do our own background check and they are totally right about that part. They are not going to spend the money to do any background checks and don't really care that there are many unsafe people online looking to prey on a woman, usually men.
What happened to organically meeting someone when you are out and about just enjoying life? Why do we have to force it by paying money to find people to date? One simple answer is that we live in a world of instant gratification and we don't know that meeting strangers online can be even more risky than just meeting someone at a party someone we know introduces us to. In fact meeting someone another person already knows is likely a much better way to meet people because at least someone can give you some information about him or her. In many cases that person knows the other person because they are in fact relatives. Maybe that is not the perfect match but at the very least it starts at a much safer place.
People use to meet organically and most times introduced by family members. Families who knew one another and their children were friends in childhood would end up getting married as adults. People were not just plucking people off the street to meet and go on a date on. They would ask question and know the character of the man or woman they wanted to get to know. A woman could be walking to the store and a man would offer to escort her to the store speaking to her and getting to know her. It was a time when men had much more respect for women and there was a protocol and a desire to be a gentleman. Why can we not do that today in much the same way we met then? Well, the truth is that we want what we want and we want it now. We are willing to bypass getting to know someone and place ourselves on line as though were were an object on sale. And of course we get buyers many of whom are looking for a lay and many who are dangerous people taking advantage of social media and dating sites. We are rarely told that women and men have ended up dead as a result of some stranger they met on line posing as someone else who lied about just about everything.
I think that people have come full circle in the area of dating online and realizing just how phony it is and just how superficial a set up it really is. It is people making millions of dollars pretending that they have the answer to your dreams and those of us, like me, can fall into quite the trap when we find that it is most of all a waste of our valuable time and energy we could be placing into self nurturing and doing things that we find joy in doing, alone and single until such time as we meet someone because it was meant to happen, naturally, not forced or scripted. It is our own self-loathing that could make us fall prey to this ridiculous notion that we will meet the "right person" for us online. It is likely quite rare if we do. In fact, only 20 percent of people who met on line end up in a committed relationship or marriage. When one thinks of the millions of people online twenty percent is a really low outcome for something that is being sold as wonderful, magical and great. We can all do that on our own and save the average cost of 275.00 a month. In fact if we did volunteer work we could likely have a much better person to person chance to meet someone kind and someone who is likely compassionate because they decided to serve others without any monetary interest.
I know a young lady who is all the things men say that like. She is attractive, she has a great body, she dresses beautifully, she is feminine and embraces that. In the last year and a few months it seems she has met three men. The first one ended up being married, the second one turned out to be very jealous and the third one was in her words not very smart. None of these three men worked out and the hours of time she placed in scrolling and selecting was a complete waste of her time. She however has decided that sooner or later something will happen yet I cant't help think that something will happen but not what she expects. Online dating is simply not what the money makers would like you to think it is and I say go. Back to the basics, meeting people where you are and through others. Not one of us really need to do online dating to meet someone kind, someone smart or someone safe. We simply need to go back to reality, back to te basic principles that we learned many years before we were made to think that we could shop for all things, a person. No. Just No.
What happened to organically meeting someone when you are out and about just enjoying life? Why do we have to force it by paying money to find people to date? One simple answer is that we live in a world of instant gratification and we don't know that meeting strangers online can be even more risky than just meeting someone at a party someone we know introduces us to. In fact meeting someone another person already knows is likely a much better way to meet people because at least someone can give you some information about him or her. In many cases that person knows the other person because they are in fact relatives. Maybe that is not the perfect match but at the very least it starts at a much safer place.
People use to meet organically and most times introduced by family members. Families who knew one another and their children were friends in childhood would end up getting married as adults. People were not just plucking people off the street to meet and go on a date on. They would ask question and know the character of the man or woman they wanted to get to know. A woman could be walking to the store and a man would offer to escort her to the store speaking to her and getting to know her. It was a time when men had much more respect for women and there was a protocol and a desire to be a gentleman. Why can we not do that today in much the same way we met then? Well, the truth is that we want what we want and we want it now. We are willing to bypass getting to know someone and place ourselves on line as though were were an object on sale. And of course we get buyers many of whom are looking for a lay and many who are dangerous people taking advantage of social media and dating sites. We are rarely told that women and men have ended up dead as a result of some stranger they met on line posing as someone else who lied about just about everything.
I think that people have come full circle in the area of dating online and realizing just how phony it is and just how superficial a set up it really is. It is people making millions of dollars pretending that they have the answer to your dreams and those of us, like me, can fall into quite the trap when we find that it is most of all a waste of our valuable time and energy we could be placing into self nurturing and doing things that we find joy in doing, alone and single until such time as we meet someone because it was meant to happen, naturally, not forced or scripted. It is our own self-loathing that could make us fall prey to this ridiculous notion that we will meet the "right person" for us online. It is likely quite rare if we do. In fact, only 20 percent of people who met on line end up in a committed relationship or marriage. When one thinks of the millions of people online twenty percent is a really low outcome for something that is being sold as wonderful, magical and great. We can all do that on our own and save the average cost of 275.00 a month. In fact if we did volunteer work we could likely have a much better person to person chance to meet someone kind and someone who is likely compassionate because they decided to serve others without any monetary interest.
I know a young lady who is all the things men say that like. She is attractive, she has a great body, she dresses beautifully, she is feminine and embraces that. In the last year and a few months it seems she has met three men. The first one ended up being married, the second one turned out to be very jealous and the third one was in her words not very smart. None of these three men worked out and the hours of time she placed in scrolling and selecting was a complete waste of her time. She however has decided that sooner or later something will happen yet I cant't help think that something will happen but not what she expects. Online dating is simply not what the money makers would like you to think it is and I say go. Back to the basics, meeting people where you are and through others. Not one of us really need to do online dating to meet someone kind, someone smart or someone safe. We simply need to go back to reality, back to te basic principles that we learned many years before we were made to think that we could shop for all things, a person. No. Just No.
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