Birthday Cancer
I would not normally equate my birthday with cancer if it were not for the fact that it happens to be two facts that sometimes we cannot seperate. The compassion I have around my illness is heightened by the fact that I do have a challenge in my life at this point and time. It just so happens to be my 60th birthday today. This seems like an opportunity to raise my vibration and to find my heart in order to celebrate my life and to allow others to participate in a dinner party later at my favorite place. There will be laughter no matter what and there will be tears if there needs to be. I won't hold back and yet I will do with this day the best that I know how and live in the highest place of love so that no one and nothing will steal my joy or snatch my happiness. I wish myself the best birthday of all today and know that it will be as I predict it to be, joyful and full of love.
IN THE PAST I would go on vacations for my birthdays and this year with all the wonders and the challenges of my life I could not do that. Still I am looking forward to successfully overcoming the snatcher: cancer and going on a wonderful trip right after the completion of my cancer treatments in June along with my wife Luz Maria. She who has been so thoughtful and loving and kind and compassionate has motivated me to live and to continue to shine will be awarded a trip and a diamond ring. I can only hope that she will continue to see herself as my partner in crime andmy friend forever: BFF. Like my life in general travel has been a refuge and a joy always so I am looking forward to sharing this one with her either in Puerto Rico or Spain or Florida or Mexico. Wherever we go I know we will enjoy it immensely because she and I we are so fond of each other and know each other's patterns. I am looking forward to it and see that as the second part of the birthday celebration and life celebration.
Today on my birthday I think about Kate and Debbie who have both battled with cancer for ten years and gone from one birthday to the next no matter what, continuing to do art and continuing to serve others. Both of these women have fought her battle alone without a partner just like I am and one has no children like I do to occassinsaly serve her like I do. It must be harder to be a single woman in the work force trying to work, address her serious health challenges and not have someone there to hold her hand the way that I do. This is when I realize just how lucky I am to have been left in the middle of my own health issue and still have plenty of support from family, my kids, grandkids and friends. If I do complain it is solely out of being insular and being in pity mode. It is irrational because I do have kids that come to my aid all the time and constantly, never once turning their backs on me. Even my son in law offers to take vacation days to care for me. It is a great day today because on this birthday I am feeling the support of a million souls and god and man. Today is a great day because this is the beginning of the second week of chemo and the forth week of radiation and I feel like I am coming up to the stretch and of course I am hopeful.
I sit in a lux living room with two stories as we speak. I sit here and I am grateful to be able to keep my home for now and to enjoy the sunny location on a lake. I sit watching a documentary on YSL on a sixty inch flat screen TV and sitting on a plush super comfy white slip covered sofa. Today I am asking God to maintain me and hold me and I know he or she will do so. I have been held and loved for the past six-eight months and what I sense is that I will be held for another ten years or maybe more. I intend to live a quality life and to fight the good fight. Today I feel closer to the sun and closer to the earth and my roots are strong. I am a vital man with so much to give and so much to share and do for others and the beautiful kids in my life. I am here to serve god in ways that I am not completely aware of: women struggling with others, women being hit by men, women in the workforce who can barely afford to work and pay to have their children baby sat. It is a world our there beyond me, beyond my personal struggle and as I sit here watching the old commercial for the fragrance Opium by YSL and the controversy it created with China because of their past negative experience with actual opium, having nothing to do with the fragrance.
AS is often the case in life we find ways to turn the good into something bad and we find ways to turn the light into darkenss. We find ways to turn fashion into an ugly industry of people who are vain or we find a way to see love as ultimately being an ugly ending like divorce. We then block the good with the bad and create a darkness of our own. Don't get me wrong when I see I too have done this and today the difference is that I must make the statement: " In the past I turned the light into darkness but NOT ANY MORE! As I watch the workers carefully gather up the designer's objects and see how YSL lived I am prompted into an understanding that material things will stay here and the the soul is all that matters. AS they carefully remove art from the walls it prompts us all to know that it is beautiful and nice to have while one is on the earth and that eventually it must be passed on as we begin to pass forward either in life or in death, and let us see death as light as well.
DEATH is a beginning and not an end. I look at my life today and what I see is that it is motivated by the fact that god has given my breath even at times when I say: " I cannot breath". The reality is that I can breath and I will breath. I will continue to breath until God decides that I will take my last breath. I will breath until it is time to not and in the meantime I will dance and dance and twirl and twirl and dance some more, breathing joy into my body even if at times it is sore because mostly lif is manageable and great.
DO not sit in your pain but rather look right through is like an illusion because there is something or someone trying to make it your life and you are not your pain, not the physical or emotional pain and not the spiritual pain. Life is a test and each time we pass a test we are closer to divine living and we are closer to God source. Life is a great thing, a challenge, a party and a song. Life is a beautiful journey where you get to be challenged and the tribulations teach you how to rise above those barriers that are really just a fake picture. Life is me and life is you having birthdays like the one I get to have today. Life is living with pain, joy, laughter and indifference. Life is worth it. It is truly worth it.
NOW go and life your life and decide to do so in a way that is holistic, balanced and includes every aspect of who you are. Live bigger and broader. Live challenging yourself to do more now and in the moment. We, you and I, do not need to pretend we know the answers when we don't and we don't have to know. It is completely OK to be in the pity mode but not OK to stay there.
KEEP DANCING!
Keep dancing
Keep dancing
Keep singing
Breath, breath, breath
IN THE PAST I would go on vacations for my birthdays and this year with all the wonders and the challenges of my life I could not do that. Still I am looking forward to successfully overcoming the snatcher: cancer and going on a wonderful trip right after the completion of my cancer treatments in June along with my wife Luz Maria. She who has been so thoughtful and loving and kind and compassionate has motivated me to live and to continue to shine will be awarded a trip and a diamond ring. I can only hope that she will continue to see herself as my partner in crime andmy friend forever: BFF. Like my life in general travel has been a refuge and a joy always so I am looking forward to sharing this one with her either in Puerto Rico or Spain or Florida or Mexico. Wherever we go I know we will enjoy it immensely because she and I we are so fond of each other and know each other's patterns. I am looking forward to it and see that as the second part of the birthday celebration and life celebration.
Today on my birthday I think about Kate and Debbie who have both battled with cancer for ten years and gone from one birthday to the next no matter what, continuing to do art and continuing to serve others. Both of these women have fought her battle alone without a partner just like I am and one has no children like I do to occassinsaly serve her like I do. It must be harder to be a single woman in the work force trying to work, address her serious health challenges and not have someone there to hold her hand the way that I do. This is when I realize just how lucky I am to have been left in the middle of my own health issue and still have plenty of support from family, my kids, grandkids and friends. If I do complain it is solely out of being insular and being in pity mode. It is irrational because I do have kids that come to my aid all the time and constantly, never once turning their backs on me. Even my son in law offers to take vacation days to care for me. It is a great day today because on this birthday I am feeling the support of a million souls and god and man. Today is a great day because this is the beginning of the second week of chemo and the forth week of radiation and I feel like I am coming up to the stretch and of course I am hopeful.
I sit in a lux living room with two stories as we speak. I sit here and I am grateful to be able to keep my home for now and to enjoy the sunny location on a lake. I sit watching a documentary on YSL on a sixty inch flat screen TV and sitting on a plush super comfy white slip covered sofa. Today I am asking God to maintain me and hold me and I know he or she will do so. I have been held and loved for the past six-eight months and what I sense is that I will be held for another ten years or maybe more. I intend to live a quality life and to fight the good fight. Today I feel closer to the sun and closer to the earth and my roots are strong. I am a vital man with so much to give and so much to share and do for others and the beautiful kids in my life. I am here to serve god in ways that I am not completely aware of: women struggling with others, women being hit by men, women in the workforce who can barely afford to work and pay to have their children baby sat. It is a world our there beyond me, beyond my personal struggle and as I sit here watching the old commercial for the fragrance Opium by YSL and the controversy it created with China because of their past negative experience with actual opium, having nothing to do with the fragrance.
AS is often the case in life we find ways to turn the good into something bad and we find ways to turn the light into darkenss. We find ways to turn fashion into an ugly industry of people who are vain or we find a way to see love as ultimately being an ugly ending like divorce. We then block the good with the bad and create a darkness of our own. Don't get me wrong when I see I too have done this and today the difference is that I must make the statement: " In the past I turned the light into darkness but NOT ANY MORE! As I watch the workers carefully gather up the designer's objects and see how YSL lived I am prompted into an understanding that material things will stay here and the the soul is all that matters. AS they carefully remove art from the walls it prompts us all to know that it is beautiful and nice to have while one is on the earth and that eventually it must be passed on as we begin to pass forward either in life or in death, and let us see death as light as well.
DEATH is a beginning and not an end. I look at my life today and what I see is that it is motivated by the fact that god has given my breath even at times when I say: " I cannot breath". The reality is that I can breath and I will breath. I will continue to breath until God decides that I will take my last breath. I will breath until it is time to not and in the meantime I will dance and dance and twirl and twirl and dance some more, breathing joy into my body even if at times it is sore because mostly lif is manageable and great.
DO not sit in your pain but rather look right through is like an illusion because there is something or someone trying to make it your life and you are not your pain, not the physical or emotional pain and not the spiritual pain. Life is a test and each time we pass a test we are closer to divine living and we are closer to God source. Life is a great thing, a challenge, a party and a song. Life is a beautiful journey where you get to be challenged and the tribulations teach you how to rise above those barriers that are really just a fake picture. Life is me and life is you having birthdays like the one I get to have today. Life is living with pain, joy, laughter and indifference. Life is worth it. It is truly worth it.
NOW go and life your life and decide to do so in a way that is holistic, balanced and includes every aspect of who you are. Live bigger and broader. Live challenging yourself to do more now and in the moment. We, you and I, do not need to pretend we know the answers when we don't and we don't have to know. It is completely OK to be in the pity mode but not OK to stay there.
KEEP DANCING!
Keep dancing
Keep dancing
Keep singing
Breath, breath, breath
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