The Cancer Journey Continues

Once again I am planning another week of radiation and each week I get more and more weak and I struggle to get there and get home each day getting up at 430 in the morning.  I keep praying that I can get to the end of this although it does not feel like that time will ever come.  The pain is higher and the pills for pain are stronger yet the fight is harder and harder.  With the physical comes the emotional and the emotional effecting my physical state of being.

Every day I decide to be grateful that I got up and I am alive and given another day.  Every day I try to be normal and drink coffee and even stop at Starbucks to get coffee on the way to my treatments.  I think at first that I cannot do it anymore but then I do it again and somehow I get through the day.  This week I have a friend helping me out who has agreed to take a week and gift it to assisting me, going to the treatments with me and supporting and loving me.

I admit that now it has come to the place where I am very scared and the scars on me are more and more prominent and burning me.  I wish the cancer were somewhere that I would not be able to see it and then there are days when I know that God wants me to see it.  I am tested each day and my faith wavers back and forth.

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