Cancer does not kill, emotions do

As I begin the gruling process of more radiation and early morning appointments as well as stitches coming out on Tuesday, I start with a new attitude of optimism and gratitude.  I feel abandoned but I feel empowered at the same time.  I feel hurt and yet I feel healed more over.  I sense that this week may be a little easier than last week because the chemo is taking a break although it will be back the last week.  I think I have about three or four more weeks of this and I pray my fragile body will be able to take the treatments and turn them into a healing experience.  My heart is racing today with all types of thoughts but with my grandchild who is only 13 in the other room I have to be as composed as possible.  No way she is going to suffer in the morning for my dilemma.  No way she should see me upset or throwing up so I took that dam pill to help me out folks.

To all of you this morning I would ask that you put your situation into prospective.  I would ask that you look at your life closer and see the light that you have and compare it to the light you deserve.  Access that light by asking it to come forward just as I will do with you, because that is all that we can do at times to get through the rough  patches.  See the beauty around you: your kids, partners, home, goddess energy and love.  See the substance of your life which is truly who we really are.  If you are feeling alone like I am know that you are, we are, really not alone and that we can be lonely in relationships with people who are emotionally absent or abusive.  Be in your alone moments and embrace you as the entity of love like I will.  Let's do that together while we say: "I am not alone but rather have myself to hold and to connect with god source".  I am not alone because I am always connected to god source.  You are not alone because you are connected to god source.

So today, for now, let's walk in the faith that we are going to be all of what we are meant to be: in joy, in peace, in centeredness.  Smile at everyone you happen to come into contact with.  Read a positive book or write a positive card.  Tell someone you love or like them.  Sing to a Rihanna song.  Dance in you big girl bra and rejoice in the fact that you are alive and have food on your table.  This no one can "Snatch" from you.  At least not today.
more later......




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