Being a Parent Being in Your Center
This afternoon I spoke to a loving family member about her talk with her daughter. This talk that she needed to have with her daughter was about ether abiding by the rules, making her contribution or going elsewhere to live. It seems that her kid turned from teen to adult quickly but the maturity did not necessarily follow. She is still in a form of arrested development or as I like to put it, slowed down maturity meter. She is simply not as mature as other kids her age. Not surprisingly there are many others like her and we all know someone who is struggling with there ability to match their age with some form of accomplishment. Some would connect their age with where they should be in life and others equate their age with what they should have done in life, the degrees they should have and the money they could of made.
In every relationship there will be issues of balance and especially of equity. That is what my dear friend is struggling with. Each person in the household other than her seems to be avoiding housework and she herself is struggling to work, cook and clean and create an environment that is nurturing for others. What I find is missing for her that is missing for many of us is that we forget to nurture ourselves. If we don't nurture the number one person which is us, we will eventually become resentful. This is a good reason to make sure that you meet your own needs and that you set boundaries that will result in being in your center.
So how do we find our center? I would recommend that we meditate and pray before we dialog with a person we have a conflict with. I would spend some time bathing my thoughts and breathing before doing anything and before starting the day, for sure before you talk to anyone about something charged. It is not simple science yet it is easy. Breath, stop the inner chatter and think before you speak and for sure before you take any action. My friend told me that she took that advise and that as a result she felt the conversation with her daughter went well. I don't take credit for it and know that I did not invent this method. We tend to jump right up and begin a conversation or argument when we are the most upset. Conversely if we stop and think we will likely have a conversation that is more centered because we breathed before we say or do anything.
Being a parent is about being in your center as often as you can be and to strive to be in a centering place. I find that children are like a partner in life once they are adults. Many parents don't like that adult person and that person reflects back to them all that they are and all the characteristics that we don't like about ourselves. The truth is that being a good parent is aligned or the same as just being a good person in your skin and liking yourself enough to set standards around how you are treated and how you treat others.
Being in my center means that I have to work at it every day. I cannot forget to work on it because just when I think all is well something will throw a curb ball at me because life is not always centered. Life is not always going to feel fuzzy and warm and life is about centering and centering and doing it again and again. If we did not have any reason to center ourselves then we would likely not be living fully.
Today I was with a friend and she brought some light to me. I felt like I was attacked and when I walked away I felt very bad about myself. I thought I was a bad person because she had pointed our my flaws until I realized she is my mirror and that some or all of what hurt my feelings about what she said really was about her and not me. I then could take what was relevant and "leave the rest". And so I leave all of you with this thought. Take the time to find your center vibration, breath deeply and when someone shares their experience of who you are simply decide what belongs to you and what does not belong to you. Stay in the light and the love.
Coach Elliott
In every relationship there will be issues of balance and especially of equity. That is what my dear friend is struggling with. Each person in the household other than her seems to be avoiding housework and she herself is struggling to work, cook and clean and create an environment that is nurturing for others. What I find is missing for her that is missing for many of us is that we forget to nurture ourselves. If we don't nurture the number one person which is us, we will eventually become resentful. This is a good reason to make sure that you meet your own needs and that you set boundaries that will result in being in your center.
So how do we find our center? I would recommend that we meditate and pray before we dialog with a person we have a conflict with. I would spend some time bathing my thoughts and breathing before doing anything and before starting the day, for sure before you talk to anyone about something charged. It is not simple science yet it is easy. Breath, stop the inner chatter and think before you speak and for sure before you take any action. My friend told me that she took that advise and that as a result she felt the conversation with her daughter went well. I don't take credit for it and know that I did not invent this method. We tend to jump right up and begin a conversation or argument when we are the most upset. Conversely if we stop and think we will likely have a conversation that is more centered because we breathed before we say or do anything.
Being a parent is about being in your center as often as you can be and to strive to be in a centering place. I find that children are like a partner in life once they are adults. Many parents don't like that adult person and that person reflects back to them all that they are and all the characteristics that we don't like about ourselves. The truth is that being a good parent is aligned or the same as just being a good person in your skin and liking yourself enough to set standards around how you are treated and how you treat others.
Being in my center means that I have to work at it every day. I cannot forget to work on it because just when I think all is well something will throw a curb ball at me because life is not always centered. Life is not always going to feel fuzzy and warm and life is about centering and centering and doing it again and again. If we did not have any reason to center ourselves then we would likely not be living fully.
Today I was with a friend and she brought some light to me. I felt like I was attacked and when I walked away I felt very bad about myself. I thought I was a bad person because she had pointed our my flaws until I realized she is my mirror and that some or all of what hurt my feelings about what she said really was about her and not me. I then could take what was relevant and "leave the rest". And so I leave all of you with this thought. Take the time to find your center vibration, breath deeply and when someone shares their experience of who you are simply decide what belongs to you and what does not belong to you. Stay in the light and the love.
Coach Elliott
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