Cancer Curious

I for one am a curious george myself.  I ask questions of others that at times may be invasive and I too have felt like some of the questions about my cancer have been rather curious.  I love people and the fact is that we are all curious at times regardless of how rough it is for some of us to respond with love and compassion, knowing that others will make the mistake to ask us something we might not be comfortable answering.  Yet we are all curious like George and will will ask those questions.  I too attempt to respond to what others need to know about me, my health or my beliefs.  I do my best to answer the questions.  All be it difficult.

Here is my inspiration for this blog because as you all know everyone and anything can inspire us to share our feelings in hope that what we share will be valued and maybe even be valuable.  Someone somewhere may be listening and may even need to hear what I have to say.  Consequently my inspiration for this blog is my own curiosity about myself and where I will go once I am finished with cancer and finished with the attention I have gotten and once I am divorced and on my own.  All these questions I have and all the people around me that will ask me but yet I have no idea what or how to respond.  And so today I eat a hotdog which is apparently not a good thing to eat (I loved it) and I am here wondering once again how I will get through my own stuff and curious as to how cancer will effect me in the future or how it will change the way that I live my life.

I am curious about others and how they go from there to here, especially my friend who is dealing with cancer and now heart desease.  I am in my curious george mode because I want to know badly how she has done her cancer treatments for ten years.  Ten years of dealing with cancer and addressing her needs all alone with no one to hear her cry or to pick her up off the floor like I have in my life.  I want to know how she does it.  How does she do this alone?  How does she get through this every day?  Some days I can barely breath and she is going to work every day and has a busy schedule often times out of the country.  How does she do this?  I am curious.  Very curious.

I still love my cancer.  I still want to love my cancer because if I don't I have to be in hate twenty four hours a day or at least twelve of them.  I am curious as to how others feel about my cancer and the people who don't ask the questions.  The questions I have for others is how will I do this?  I want to know how they do it so that I can do it the same way, even though I don't know if that will work.  I want to be curious in my own life about my own stuff and ask myself the tough questions.  Questions that others have of me, the hard core ones.  I want to know those responses and yet what I feel is that I just don't know.  I don't know!  That's my answer.

This Saturday is my birthday party.  I am celebrating my sixty years on this earth and I am still curious about life.  I wonder how long I will live after this.  I wonder how many more birthday parties my kids will have for me.  How many cakes I will eat and how much of that favorite Godiva chocolate ice cream I will eat?  I'm just curious.  A curious George.















Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Seasoned Vs Old Person

Those of you who know me personally might be aware that I don't use the word "old".  I don't think that people should be referred to with a word like old and I believe that as we live longer lives we are wiser and that we can be looked upon as "seasoned".  For me the word seasoned means that we have lived a good life and that we have gone from one season to another experiencing life and the many ups and downs of it.  I don't see the word old as one that honors any human being for their acquisition of wisdom and the things they have been able to overcome.  I for one consider myself a seasoned man not an "old man". There are so many meanings to the word old but the one that I am not in agreement with is the connotation that older is less than and younger is more important.  Unfortunately we live in a world where youth is celebrated and seasoned people are looked down on.  The thought is that younger people are more attractive or that they are m
Read more

Visualize It, Manifest It.

Let me just excuse myself from the non-believers as I know you are out there and the mere idea of believing and then achieving seems silly.  If you are one of these people, you should stop reading now and simply not waste any time because if you don't believe in yourself then you will not understand how manifestation works.  This blog is not just about believing and then getting what you believe in but more importantly how to go from the thought of being your highest self to actually being your highest self. And so if you believe, even a little, keep going because this is about having what you want in life ether spiritually, emotionally or physically.  Here are some ways to get there: Setting Your Intention: The very first thing to do when you want to manifest something (joy, money, relationship) is to set your intention.  You can set your intention by speaking of what you want in a way that feels intentional. An intention can sound like this: My intention is to become finan
Read more

Your Skirt Is Over Your Head

I am uncertain as to how many of my readers know what I mean about putting your skirt over your head.  All I know is that my sister once said it and I think I heard it in a movie once.  I do know that in the movie "Mermaids" Cher who played the mom had some great lines about being a woman and just having a good time with life.  In one of those what should be famous lines Cher's daughter played by Winnona Ryder says: "Don't you think yoiiu are too old for that dress?"to which Cher responds with: "Don't be silly Charlotte, a woman is never too old".  In another part there is a stunning young man waiting on their porch to welcome them to the country area where they moved and upon setting eyes on him Winnona Ryder who is Charlotte is mezmerized by him.  Cher suddenly turns around and says: "too bad your hell bent on becoming a nun".  To say that Cher truly pulls the dress over her head is really minimizing her role in this movie that I wo
Read more