Celebrating Cancer and Years Ahead
Yesterday I had the privilege of celebrating my 60 years on this earth after what feels like a long battle with cancer and what has been a difficult journey. I feel like I want to be at the end of it and yet it may not be so I must be prepared for the worse and best outcome. I won't know that for a few months if not longer and while I heal from the burning of the radiation I am hopeful inside my soul and my spirit is still in tact. I am grateful to celebrate the cancer and at the same time celebrate the years ahead that god has given me.
We are all on such beautiful journeys and one such person in my life who lost his beloved pet shared that the last blog inspired him to heal and come to my party. That blog was yesterday and it was about pain and how we hold on to it versus how we handle it. He seemed to be anxious to tell me that the only reason he showed up for the party and for me was that he was inspired by the sharing dialog in the blog. It was he and many others present who sent me the same or similar message that I meant something. As I announced my appreciation for everyone in the room right after my happy birthday and a loving announcement by my best friend, I could easily look around the room and recall every person's name and this is rare for me. Now I know that the very reason I recalled everyone's name is because each person in the room meant something to me and I to them. I am such a lucky person and at that moment the emotions poured out of me in gratitude and kindness. All I know is that there were likely 60 people who came in and out and the rooms downstairs were full. Full of laughter, full of love, full of dance, full of spirit, full of compassion, and full of faith in me.
Today is the day after and I still feel a certain glow within me as one of the overnight guests left to start her Mother's Day at like 6am and as I sit here at 7am after getting up at about 530 in the morning and feeling rather refreshed. My celebration continues because it is cancer that has brought so much awareness, fear, love and laughter to my life. My sister who is almost a twin of mine is upstairs sleeping and she is the person in my life who has cared for me giving me massages and spending a day a week with me sometimes overnight. My daughter and my former wife are sleeping upstairs too and the too inspire me because they have done so much to heal me and to hold me in their arms as I screamed, moaned and laughed and then cried my eyes out. All the time they just stuck to me and did not ever let go.
It is Mother's Day folks and I want to shout out to all the moms out there who have nurtured our kids
and made life possible while collaborating with god. They are the ones who are and have been the keeper of the love and the maintainers of the universe. So many mothers in my life include my former wife and also include my good friend Elaine who is a very long term friend's mom who nurtured me when I needed her the most. I am grateful to my own mom for doing the best she could do and want to send her blessings. Most of all I would like to send light to moms who are single moms like my girl Kristina who is raising my niece Mac in a way that doubles the work and she like many never complains even moving out of state to get a job and to make sure here daughter has all the things she needs. What else can I say but that my sister, my former wife, my daughter and friends are all such great moms that I can only aspire to be that nurturing and present for me own kids who both seem to think I am very special and whom I say are ever more of everything than I.
This is a time to reflect on our own instincts and our own ability to be motherly and to see the love in others and give love. This is a time to decide what it is that we could do to make this earth a more responsive earth and to guide all the children of the world whether they are ours or not. Today I will call my friend and tell her and her daughter how much I love them, read her a story and pray. Today I will present my wife with a diamond ring, the first in many years. Not only does she deserve it but she has earned it even in just the last few months by being attentive and solidly on my side. I have surely cried my tears with her and been remorseful. I have shared how lonely I have been yet knowing how important it would be to leave my own relationship that was and is toxic while I healed from my cancer. I am not the abandoned child, I am not cancer, I am not my pain or burning from chemo or radiation, I am not a body but rather I am a spiritual being having this incredible human experience. To those who are on this path like me I send them good vibrations. To those who have followed my path I send them appreciation. To those who are experiencing any type of pain or anguish in their lives I pray for them. It will never be enough to say thank you to all my beautiful family and friends but let me just give it one good try:
Thank you to:
Taina
Camille
Marta
Lucy
Frank
Pat
Mia
Isabella
Mimi
Adolfo
Robert
Brigitte
Isabelle
God
Grandma
My mom
Camille Marie Collazo, my daughter
and of course to Cary (my husband) who abandoned me but whom I feel is more in need of healing than I.
God bless you all. Happy Mother's Day to all.
Elliott Collazo
Life Coach
MA: Spiritual Psychology
We are all on such beautiful journeys and one such person in my life who lost his beloved pet shared that the last blog inspired him to heal and come to my party. That blog was yesterday and it was about pain and how we hold on to it versus how we handle it. He seemed to be anxious to tell me that the only reason he showed up for the party and for me was that he was inspired by the sharing dialog in the blog. It was he and many others present who sent me the same or similar message that I meant something. As I announced my appreciation for everyone in the room right after my happy birthday and a loving announcement by my best friend, I could easily look around the room and recall every person's name and this is rare for me. Now I know that the very reason I recalled everyone's name is because each person in the room meant something to me and I to them. I am such a lucky person and at that moment the emotions poured out of me in gratitude and kindness. All I know is that there were likely 60 people who came in and out and the rooms downstairs were full. Full of laughter, full of love, full of dance, full of spirit, full of compassion, and full of faith in me.
Today is the day after and I still feel a certain glow within me as one of the overnight guests left to start her Mother's Day at like 6am and as I sit here at 7am after getting up at about 530 in the morning and feeling rather refreshed. My celebration continues because it is cancer that has brought so much awareness, fear, love and laughter to my life. My sister who is almost a twin of mine is upstairs sleeping and she is the person in my life who has cared for me giving me massages and spending a day a week with me sometimes overnight. My daughter and my former wife are sleeping upstairs too and the too inspire me because they have done so much to heal me and to hold me in their arms as I screamed, moaned and laughed and then cried my eyes out. All the time they just stuck to me and did not ever let go.
It is Mother's Day folks and I want to shout out to all the moms out there who have nurtured our kids
and made life possible while collaborating with god. They are the ones who are and have been the keeper of the love and the maintainers of the universe. So many mothers in my life include my former wife and also include my good friend Elaine who is a very long term friend's mom who nurtured me when I needed her the most. I am grateful to my own mom for doing the best she could do and want to send her blessings. Most of all I would like to send light to moms who are single moms like my girl Kristina who is raising my niece Mac in a way that doubles the work and she like many never complains even moving out of state to get a job and to make sure here daughter has all the things she needs. What else can I say but that my sister, my former wife, my daughter and friends are all such great moms that I can only aspire to be that nurturing and present for me own kids who both seem to think I am very special and whom I say are ever more of everything than I.
This is a time to reflect on our own instincts and our own ability to be motherly and to see the love in others and give love. This is a time to decide what it is that we could do to make this earth a more responsive earth and to guide all the children of the world whether they are ours or not. Today I will call my friend and tell her and her daughter how much I love them, read her a story and pray. Today I will present my wife with a diamond ring, the first in many years. Not only does she deserve it but she has earned it even in just the last few months by being attentive and solidly on my side. I have surely cried my tears with her and been remorseful. I have shared how lonely I have been yet knowing how important it would be to leave my own relationship that was and is toxic while I healed from my cancer. I am not the abandoned child, I am not cancer, I am not my pain or burning from chemo or radiation, I am not a body but rather I am a spiritual being having this incredible human experience. To those who are on this path like me I send them good vibrations. To those who have followed my path I send them appreciation. To those who are experiencing any type of pain or anguish in their lives I pray for them. It will never be enough to say thank you to all my beautiful family and friends but let me just give it one good try:
Thank you to:
Taina
Camille
Marta
Lucy
Frank
Pat
Mia
Isabella
Mimi
Adolfo
Robert
Brigitte
Isabelle
God
Grandma
My mom
Camille Marie Collazo, my daughter
and of course to Cary (my husband) who abandoned me but whom I feel is more in need of healing than I.
God bless you all. Happy Mother's Day to all.
Elliott Collazo
Life Coach
MA: Spiritual Psychology
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