Power Comes From Source
Here is the kicker for me. I am chatting with a girlfriend and she tells me she gets power from her husband and the first thing that occurs to me is that she is empowered without his help, in fact maybe more so without his input. This isn't a judgement but rather an observation of mine. I talk to a lot of women who tell me they are empowered and they are living with men who depend on them for things like finding a hair brush and like me they are looking for their spouse to empower them. It is not that I think that men cannot do that but I do believe that many men take more than they actually give and that we should not expect them to be anything but who they are. If we marry a zebra then we should not expect that he will turn into a dove one day. I know, I know. I am going to get some hate mail now from the Christian fundamentalist or men who don't like what I am saying. Let me be in the mix by stating the obvious. I am a man and I was married to a woman for ten years of my egotistic life. I was in my twenties and turned thirty with her and she is a friend now but I totally behaved like a dysfunctional ass much of the time. So there you have it. I don't deny shit. "That's just how I roll".
If you are tired of hearing women tell you stories about how wonderful their life is having nothing to do with my friend, so am I. In fact I am tired of my own stories about THE husband I have at home. The stories range from how hard working they are to they do nothing with a mop and don't know where the soft scrub is under the sink where it has been for ten years. Still some of them still ask. OMG we need a freaking boot camp for these men do we not? When will they find their own toothbrush? Ok, did I say that out loud? Yes, I most surely did. Yet when we ask them where our earring is they haven't a clue and look at us like we have two heads. Can I get a witness.
All joking aside we should not be waiting for our husbands to awaken and provide for us what in reality they cannot provide. We can make up all kinds of stories and believe me I have heard them all but we cannot make a stove out of a refrigerator. Nor can we make a dove out of a zebra, but then again why the hell do we want to? I just know someone is going to send me a hate comment. I can already feel it. LMAO. We cannot make our husbands mop the floor when it needs mopping or wash a load of laundry for that matter. In fact the stories we all make up about how wonderful they are really demonstrates how little we are focused on ourselves. Like my desperate housewife married to an attorney who I deleted from FB who complained about doing everything every day for everyone and was resentful one day and showing me her Gucci bag the next day. Let's be honest that is a story of all stories and most of us make that stuff up because we are not empowered and we are looking for some man to give us the power or the joy we should already process. There I said it!
I know this all sounds a bit harsh and if it does then it is likely something we need to hear. I know I needed to write it and I surely feel much better now that THE husband is gone for two days to work in the city and sleep on his friend's couch. I feel like I am breathing a little better never mind the lights on in the house during the day that I love to have the power to leave on. That means nothing compared to the music on Pandora via blue tooth. Never mind my plan to drink three cups of coffee without hearing about how I have not had breakfast yet or to turn of the lamp because it's daytime. I get to laugh very loudly and just act a fool realizing that I too give marriage too much power and the husband too much play involving too many stories. In the end this is about me not about you. Funny is it not?
So let's all put our big girl panties on. I will put my big boy undies on and let's get real about this whole husband thing. Most are not mopping the floor and some force us, like me, to hire a housekeeper to do their share of the work. Some are lawyers and some are nurses. One of them is an "engineer" code for janitor and the other one is a truck driver but we call him a "transportation expert". Please don't ask me. That lady friend has had fist fights with her husband. I know that is not funny but understand that I too have wanted to punch the husband in the face. I just haven't done it yet. It would not be good for a Hispanic gay man like me to be in jail because his white husband called the police on him.
What might I say is the lesson here? Let me see. None! Just kidding. As a life coach, former teacher and program manager (lots of degrees and the one I like the most is parent) and parent, I would like to say that I am so far from perfect and if my life is not what it is meant to be it is because I am not empowering me with source and not connecting me with source and not using anyone or anything to dictate my joy. Next week I will begin my five weeks of chemo and radiation and Monday a full body scan to see if it is over. But what I know is that it's not over until the " skinny boy sings" (me). Oh yes the lesson could be whatever the fuck you want it to be. I know nothing and I will end this by saying that I am only responsible for fifty percent of what I say and all f what I do. Not being on pain meds is a good thing but somehow has brought forth more of Elliott than some of us would like to see.
Coach Elliott
If you are tired of hearing women tell you stories about how wonderful their life is having nothing to do with my friend, so am I. In fact I am tired of my own stories about THE husband I have at home. The stories range from how hard working they are to they do nothing with a mop and don't know where the soft scrub is under the sink where it has been for ten years. Still some of them still ask. OMG we need a freaking boot camp for these men do we not? When will they find their own toothbrush? Ok, did I say that out loud? Yes, I most surely did. Yet when we ask them where our earring is they haven't a clue and look at us like we have two heads. Can I get a witness.
All joking aside we should not be waiting for our husbands to awaken and provide for us what in reality they cannot provide. We can make up all kinds of stories and believe me I have heard them all but we cannot make a stove out of a refrigerator. Nor can we make a dove out of a zebra, but then again why the hell do we want to? I just know someone is going to send me a hate comment. I can already feel it. LMAO. We cannot make our husbands mop the floor when it needs mopping or wash a load of laundry for that matter. In fact the stories we all make up about how wonderful they are really demonstrates how little we are focused on ourselves. Like my desperate housewife married to an attorney who I deleted from FB who complained about doing everything every day for everyone and was resentful one day and showing me her Gucci bag the next day. Let's be honest that is a story of all stories and most of us make that stuff up because we are not empowered and we are looking for some man to give us the power or the joy we should already process. There I said it!
I know this all sounds a bit harsh and if it does then it is likely something we need to hear. I know I needed to write it and I surely feel much better now that THE husband is gone for two days to work in the city and sleep on his friend's couch. I feel like I am breathing a little better never mind the lights on in the house during the day that I love to have the power to leave on. That means nothing compared to the music on Pandora via blue tooth. Never mind my plan to drink three cups of coffee without hearing about how I have not had breakfast yet or to turn of the lamp because it's daytime. I get to laugh very loudly and just act a fool realizing that I too give marriage too much power and the husband too much play involving too many stories. In the end this is about me not about you. Funny is it not?
So let's all put our big girl panties on. I will put my big boy undies on and let's get real about this whole husband thing. Most are not mopping the floor and some force us, like me, to hire a housekeeper to do their share of the work. Some are lawyers and some are nurses. One of them is an "engineer" code for janitor and the other one is a truck driver but we call him a "transportation expert". Please don't ask me. That lady friend has had fist fights with her husband. I know that is not funny but understand that I too have wanted to punch the husband in the face. I just haven't done it yet. It would not be good for a Hispanic gay man like me to be in jail because his white husband called the police on him.
What might I say is the lesson here? Let me see. None! Just kidding. As a life coach, former teacher and program manager (lots of degrees and the one I like the most is parent) and parent, I would like to say that I am so far from perfect and if my life is not what it is meant to be it is because I am not empowering me with source and not connecting me with source and not using anyone or anything to dictate my joy. Next week I will begin my five weeks of chemo and radiation and Monday a full body scan to see if it is over. But what I know is that it's not over until the " skinny boy sings" (me). Oh yes the lesson could be whatever the fuck you want it to be. I know nothing and I will end this by saying that I am only responsible for fifty percent of what I say and all f what I do. Not being on pain meds is a good thing but somehow has brought forth more of Elliott than some of us would like to see.
Coach Elliott
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