I Get Mordified
When you are raised to believe that feelings are for girls and Barbies are for gay boys and taken to therapy at five by your so called liberal parents that is denial. When your family minimizes the Jewish experience in Germany under Hitler and your daughter has her feet up in the air laughing. When you tell people everyone in your circle is nice and they are a batch of racist. When you lie about who you are and who your family is, that is not denial that is simply you lying to yourself. My post on FB was similar to this but not in these exact words because I don't have any of these very common characteristics in my own family alone nor are they describing anyone else's. What I am attempting to do is to be in a place of acceptance around every person's views whether they are a serial killer or a spiritual killer. Whether they are privileged or they think you are arrogant. Whether they wear pointy shoes our square toed ones.
I recently spoke to a senior citizen who stated: I don't wear white sunglasses anymore because now they are trendy and I never wear trendy once it get into fashion. Then my close friend responded after hearing my story: "That lady would not know fashion if it hit her in the face". I have to say that I am indeed a "fashion whore" and that may be another bad thing and yet a more interesting story but I have to admit I think that the latter woman was right. I who can be just as caddy as any other suburban housewife. Wait, she doesn't qualify nor do I.
I would never find the Jewish experience something to discuss in the living area of my house as if it were a fucking joke. I don't claim to have a best friend who is Jewish because I am actually not sure. I don't pole anyone about their race nor do I attend parties where someone said: I went to France and it was not all that when talking to a French woman. I could not make this stuff up. I was mortified and frankly I am using this venue that no one reads to express it. OMG and TGIF and BBF, what was he thinking. On yet another occasion a guy comes over to another male couples home and eats his French bread at the wet bar allowing all the crumbs to fall on the floor as if instructed to emotionally kill the OCD one in the couple's home. It was as if this beautiful rooftop condo was garbage and I could clearly see how insulted the lady of the home was. I was mordified and that takes a lot to do that to me.
I want to clarify that I have made so many mistakes I cannot count them. One time I fell asleep on a coach at a loud party but then I was twenty something and sitting next to my wife who nudged me awake and said: "We should leave". I was eternally grateful for such a loving gesture and not getting slapped. I since have rarely fallen asleep in anyones home with the acceptation of one where they don't like music and it was so quiet I thought it be OK to take a little snooze on the boring navy blue sofa. OMG,, did I say that out loud? I did. Yet all my life I was examined and prodded about such behaviors and I grew out of them finally. Where are the men like me?
I love God. I love my children. I love some of my friends. I love spirit and the Holy Spirit and it feels like I am so out of style. I don't excuse my human and rather opinionated self. I see it and at times I want to squeeze my head out of my ass. With that said can we please be compassionate about everyone who is different and everyone who has their own thing to address in life. Can we not laugh at fatherless men and point our fingers at women that their mom's died when they were born who are carrying that guilt around. And can we not be so unfeeling even if we don't worship anything but money?
Don't censor your feelings. I have not held mine back as you can note. Let the world and yourself know that abuse is not just hitting it is ignoring the famine in our country and abroad. It is abuse when you stand up and talk about a Blacks in front of Blacks disguised as a joke. It is not funny and no one is laughing, at least not I.
Love Coach E
I recently spoke to a senior citizen who stated: I don't wear white sunglasses anymore because now they are trendy and I never wear trendy once it get into fashion. Then my close friend responded after hearing my story: "That lady would not know fashion if it hit her in the face". I have to say that I am indeed a "fashion whore" and that may be another bad thing and yet a more interesting story but I have to admit I think that the latter woman was right. I who can be just as caddy as any other suburban housewife. Wait, she doesn't qualify nor do I.
I would never find the Jewish experience something to discuss in the living area of my house as if it were a fucking joke. I don't claim to have a best friend who is Jewish because I am actually not sure. I don't pole anyone about their race nor do I attend parties where someone said: I went to France and it was not all that when talking to a French woman. I could not make this stuff up. I was mortified and frankly I am using this venue that no one reads to express it. OMG and TGIF and BBF, what was he thinking. On yet another occasion a guy comes over to another male couples home and eats his French bread at the wet bar allowing all the crumbs to fall on the floor as if instructed to emotionally kill the OCD one in the couple's home. It was as if this beautiful rooftop condo was garbage and I could clearly see how insulted the lady of the home was. I was mordified and that takes a lot to do that to me.
I want to clarify that I have made so many mistakes I cannot count them. One time I fell asleep on a coach at a loud party but then I was twenty something and sitting next to my wife who nudged me awake and said: "We should leave". I was eternally grateful for such a loving gesture and not getting slapped. I since have rarely fallen asleep in anyones home with the acceptation of one where they don't like music and it was so quiet I thought it be OK to take a little snooze on the boring navy blue sofa. OMG,, did I say that out loud? I did. Yet all my life I was examined and prodded about such behaviors and I grew out of them finally. Where are the men like me?
I love God. I love my children. I love some of my friends. I love spirit and the Holy Spirit and it feels like I am so out of style. I don't excuse my human and rather opinionated self. I see it and at times I want to squeeze my head out of my ass. With that said can we please be compassionate about everyone who is different and everyone who has their own thing to address in life. Can we not laugh at fatherless men and point our fingers at women that their mom's died when they were born who are carrying that guilt around. And can we not be so unfeeling even if we don't worship anything but money?
Don't censor your feelings. I have not held mine back as you can note. Let the world and yourself know that abuse is not just hitting it is ignoring the famine in our country and abroad. It is abuse when you stand up and talk about a Blacks in front of Blacks disguised as a joke. It is not funny and no one is laughing, at least not I.
Love Coach E
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