Zen for Men: Honor Her
For some men honoring a woman feels like a guessing game. Some of the questions they may ask themselves are:
How do I act in a way that honors a woman?
What do I do that will honor a woman I love?
How can I honor and support a woman in my life?
Why is it that as much as I try I cannot seem to get it right?
I want to start with the simple answer which is that a man can honor a woman by asking her how he can show up, support her and acknowledge her in a way that she feels is comfortable and loving. Asking a simple question like: "How can I best show up for you?"is the perfect way to determine what you can do to honor her. Remember that not all women feel the same on this subject. While some women love to get flowers others are more concerned about you helping out in the home. The sure way to determine what you can do to honor her is to just ask.
The way that we generally honor women is by respecting them and responding to what they share with us. A woman is generally honored when a man acknowledges her and that importance of her role in our life. A mother wants to hear that she is a wonderful mentor and that you appreciate her. Being a gentleman and being a good listener pays off in large dividends when women feel we feel them to be special and that what they say is meanting while on the other hand negating or questioning their feelings can only make them shut down.
There are many wonderful acts of love but no one is more important than a daily demonstration of how much you care. Making the time to hear how her day went is one of them, especially if she is a "stay at home mother". Taking over the parenting role when you arrive and giving her time alone is a gift and something a man should always be willing to do for his spouse. Making a meal and cleaning the house on Saturday honors your spouse and shows her that you know what it is like to do this on a daily basis. It is a show of appreciation but more over something we should be willing to do if we love her. Saying "I love you" is great but showing her how much you love her by random acts of love is much more profound and longer lasting.
If you feel like you just cannot get it right it may very well be that you have accumulated some demotions as I call them. When you go for long periods of time without helping out and without showing your love your wife will become resentful and sometimes even show angry feelings. It is up to us to hold a sacred space for the woman we love and be willing to hear what we need to do to make things better. If we consider ourselves to be men then we should behave like men. This means being the bigger person in times when we may know we are not wrong but will make things right.
What I believe is that many men are not aware of the most simple ways to honor women and to make their relationship with their partner one that is balanced and equal in nature. Men who make a lot of money or support the family completely fail to understand that the job of the stay at home parent is immense and in most cases much more work than having a JOB. The lack of awareness results in a lack of acknowledging their wife or girlfriend. Yet there is a saying that makes a lot of sense: "happy wife, happy life". As silly as this may seem to men it is a truth that will likely enhance their own joy in relationship with their loved one. Men must be willing to be men and be willing to be wrong even if we think we are not. By surrendering we could very well end up winning and our spouses coming to us later to acknowledge us and honor us in many ways.
Challenge:
I want to challenge men to sit with their wife and ask her if she feels honored in the relationship and how she feels she is honored. I want to ask men to ask her how he can better meet her needs as a partner, friend, mother and wife. Then for the next 21 days I would like the men to do the things they were asked to do no matter how the wives show up: angry, sad, resentful, bossy or... I would like to challenge men in relationships with women to take note of the advise in this blog and implement it.
How do I act in a way that honors a woman?
What do I do that will honor a woman I love?
How can I honor and support a woman in my life?
Why is it that as much as I try I cannot seem to get it right?
I want to start with the simple answer which is that a man can honor a woman by asking her how he can show up, support her and acknowledge her in a way that she feels is comfortable and loving. Asking a simple question like: "How can I best show up for you?"is the perfect way to determine what you can do to honor her. Remember that not all women feel the same on this subject. While some women love to get flowers others are more concerned about you helping out in the home. The sure way to determine what you can do to honor her is to just ask.
The way that we generally honor women is by respecting them and responding to what they share with us. A woman is generally honored when a man acknowledges her and that importance of her role in our life. A mother wants to hear that she is a wonderful mentor and that you appreciate her. Being a gentleman and being a good listener pays off in large dividends when women feel we feel them to be special and that what they say is meanting while on the other hand negating or questioning their feelings can only make them shut down.
There are many wonderful acts of love but no one is more important than a daily demonstration of how much you care. Making the time to hear how her day went is one of them, especially if she is a "stay at home mother". Taking over the parenting role when you arrive and giving her time alone is a gift and something a man should always be willing to do for his spouse. Making a meal and cleaning the house on Saturday honors your spouse and shows her that you know what it is like to do this on a daily basis. It is a show of appreciation but more over something we should be willing to do if we love her. Saying "I love you" is great but showing her how much you love her by random acts of love is much more profound and longer lasting.
If you feel like you just cannot get it right it may very well be that you have accumulated some demotions as I call them. When you go for long periods of time without helping out and without showing your love your wife will become resentful and sometimes even show angry feelings. It is up to us to hold a sacred space for the woman we love and be willing to hear what we need to do to make things better. If we consider ourselves to be men then we should behave like men. This means being the bigger person in times when we may know we are not wrong but will make things right.
What I believe is that many men are not aware of the most simple ways to honor women and to make their relationship with their partner one that is balanced and equal in nature. Men who make a lot of money or support the family completely fail to understand that the job of the stay at home parent is immense and in most cases much more work than having a JOB. The lack of awareness results in a lack of acknowledging their wife or girlfriend. Yet there is a saying that makes a lot of sense: "happy wife, happy life". As silly as this may seem to men it is a truth that will likely enhance their own joy in relationship with their loved one. Men must be willing to be men and be willing to be wrong even if we think we are not. By surrendering we could very well end up winning and our spouses coming to us later to acknowledge us and honor us in many ways.
Challenge:
I want to challenge men to sit with their wife and ask her if she feels honored in the relationship and how she feels she is honored. I want to ask men to ask her how he can better meet her needs as a partner, friend, mother and wife. Then for the next 21 days I would like the men to do the things they were asked to do no matter how the wives show up: angry, sad, resentful, bossy or... I would like to challenge men in relationships with women to take note of the advise in this blog and implement it.
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