Being Single and Happy
As some of you know I recently got out of a casual relationship that just seemed to be a bit one sided in that I felt like I gave a lot more than I received. Unfortunately, this happens a lot when we are coupled with someone no matter the degree of commitment, whereby one person does more of the work and makes more of the effort. Yet for me my decision was based on a few things that I deemed yellow flags that turned into red ones and I am simply content that I can see clearly and exit when it was my time, making myself first rather than second or third on the list of priorities and happiness. Even with friends I have had to decide if those connections were for my highest good or met my authentic criteria to refer to them as friends. Overall being single most of the time in the last 5 years has been a blessing. I have found that my single status is my favorite status of all and that being alone does not mean I am lonely. In fact, for me there were many times when I was married where I felt very alone. It is interesting to me how much I resented doing housework for two people and how much I don't mind doing it for myself. Now I tend to my home and look at it as a blessing because I am doing it for me. Being single truly is my best status in life and learning to live single is one of my greatest accomplishments. With that said I would like to share some of the may advantages of being single. Here we go:
Traveling alone:
Although when I was in relationships I still traveled alone sometimes, I got some resistance and frankly I did not like that. Traveling alone is likely one of the best things I have done repeatedly. I love to travel alone and now I can do this without any ties or strings to detach from. I highly recommend it and find it to be the most fun. Of course one has to be willing to have whatever experiences come with traveling solo, but when you are assertive and speak to others it turns into a magical experience. Once you travel alone you will never experience travel the same again with someone else. Being single allows us the luxury of taking trips when we want, where we want, to places that invite us to discover. It is by far one of the best things about being single.
Your way all the time:
I sleep in the middle of a king size bed. I love my bed and I made sure that everything about it was beautiful and comfortable. I paid for a quality headboard and base and made certain the mattress was exactly the way I like it. I get up at the time I like as I am lucky to have my own schedule. I go to bed when I like and I go out dancing when I like. I do things my way all the time and feel free to do it without any hesitations. There will be times when we are made to feel guilty by someone else about what we want but being single takes that equation out of the picture and replaces it with the liberty to do what we want when we deserve it. Being single gives us that option all the time, one that we fail to take when we are in a relationship.
Drama Free:
As many of us know relationships come with a certain amount of drama. It just cannot be helped. Being single can have it's dramatic moments I admit but without a doubt much less drama. At the very least we can choose our drama. The beauty of being single is that we can live a life that we want and that we own all that comes with it. When we are single we often times eliminate some
You are responsible for you:
I admit that being with someone is not easy for me. I carry a certain amount of responsibility for the other person and perhaps this is normal. Yet being single gives one the option to be focused on yourself versus another person and gives us the chance to work on ourselves. When we are single we can spend the much needed energy and time on the person who matters the most, us. You are responsible for you and good thing you are because you know what you need and when you need it. Nothing is more self-loving than taking the time to understand yourself and making the time to care for your own needs. Being responsible for yourself is easier when you are single and God knows we have all lost track of who we are when in a relationship. Being single makes time for us to get refocused on our transformation.
You make your own joy:
We make our own joy. That my friends is the facts. No one can make us happy and when we try to make that person our joy we end up disappointed. We make our own joy and when we are single we are completely responsible for our own happiness. This is as it should be. So many times we think that someone is our happiness and falsely believe that we cannot be whole without that person. The reality of life is that no one can make us happy and that we are the only ones that can create a joyful life. We don't need anyone to be happy and if we think we do we are in trouble because no one can be our savior or bring what we need to our table.
These are a few of the wonderful reasons to be and stay single. Yours may be different yet they are your own valid reasons. To see how you can live a full life alone you must be willing to make yourself first and to love yourself with all that you have inside. Then when you decide you would like to be in a relationship it will be an option you take because you are whole as you are. Being single does not mean that there is something wrong with us. In fact being single and whole means we are healthy human beings.
Traveling alone:
Although when I was in relationships I still traveled alone sometimes, I got some resistance and frankly I did not like that. Traveling alone is likely one of the best things I have done repeatedly. I love to travel alone and now I can do this without any ties or strings to detach from. I highly recommend it and find it to be the most fun. Of course one has to be willing to have whatever experiences come with traveling solo, but when you are assertive and speak to others it turns into a magical experience. Once you travel alone you will never experience travel the same again with someone else. Being single allows us the luxury of taking trips when we want, where we want, to places that invite us to discover. It is by far one of the best things about being single.
Your way all the time:
I sleep in the middle of a king size bed. I love my bed and I made sure that everything about it was beautiful and comfortable. I paid for a quality headboard and base and made certain the mattress was exactly the way I like it. I get up at the time I like as I am lucky to have my own schedule. I go to bed when I like and I go out dancing when I like. I do things my way all the time and feel free to do it without any hesitations. There will be times when we are made to feel guilty by someone else about what we want but being single takes that equation out of the picture and replaces it with the liberty to do what we want when we deserve it. Being single gives us that option all the time, one that we fail to take when we are in a relationship.
Drama Free:
As many of us know relationships come with a certain amount of drama. It just cannot be helped. Being single can have it's dramatic moments I admit but without a doubt much less drama. At the very least we can choose our drama. The beauty of being single is that we can live a life that we want and that we own all that comes with it. When we are single we often times eliminate some
You are responsible for you:
I admit that being with someone is not easy for me. I carry a certain amount of responsibility for the other person and perhaps this is normal. Yet being single gives one the option to be focused on yourself versus another person and gives us the chance to work on ourselves. When we are single we can spend the much needed energy and time on the person who matters the most, us. You are responsible for you and good thing you are because you know what you need and when you need it. Nothing is more self-loving than taking the time to understand yourself and making the time to care for your own needs. Being responsible for yourself is easier when you are single and God knows we have all lost track of who we are when in a relationship. Being single makes time for us to get refocused on our transformation.
You make your own joy:
We make our own joy. That my friends is the facts. No one can make us happy and when we try to make that person our joy we end up disappointed. We make our own joy and when we are single we are completely responsible for our own happiness. This is as it should be. So many times we think that someone is our happiness and falsely believe that we cannot be whole without that person. The reality of life is that no one can make us happy and that we are the only ones that can create a joyful life. We don't need anyone to be happy and if we think we do we are in trouble because no one can be our savior or bring what we need to our table.
These are a few of the wonderful reasons to be and stay single. Yours may be different yet they are your own valid reasons. To see how you can live a full life alone you must be willing to make yourself first and to love yourself with all that you have inside. Then when you decide you would like to be in a relationship it will be an option you take because you are whole as you are. Being single does not mean that there is something wrong with us. In fact being single and whole means we are healthy human beings.
This blog is spot on. What happened to my first comment
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