You're Not Worth It!

When I was speaking to a beloved phone client of mine this evening she led me to understand her struggle with worthiness and reminded me that it is a battle we have likely all fought.  At one time or another each of us has felt unworthy and even have an issue with accepting a gift from someone.  Where does this come from?  Where did this notion that we are not worthwhile come from?  Those are the types of questions we ask ourselves when we attempt to understand this idea that we need to earn love or prove we are worthy, when in fact we cannot ever nor do we ever need to earn being counted in and being worth the effort or worthy of love.  

Worthiness is not measurable: 

The very first thing about worthiness is that it cannot and should not be measured.  We don't earn worthiness nor can we gain points in life to make us feel or be worthy.  The idea that we can become worthy is ridiculous and irrational.  We are born worthy as is evidenced by the fact that we are here.  We come to this world as worthy as one another, rich or poor, royalty or not, tall or thin, big or small. The moment we begin to buy into this option that some people are worthy of more while others get less and worth less we begin to understand that we are all equal in this area of our life.  The minute we decide we are no longer going to try to prove to anyone we are worthwhile we see that we are worthwhile just as we are.  Carpenter, Computer genius, Scientist, Teacher, Doctor or Strip Tease artist we occupy the same free space and no matter who we are, we all have worth.  

Unworthiness comes from our past invading our present reality: 

Many of us were told that we were not good enough and some of us were told we were bad, not enough.  This past reality has taken over our truth and our current reality.  We live in this lie that if the people who were suppose to love us were disappointed then we are a disappointment, unworthy of breathing the same air as others.  This notion did not suddenly come to our reality it was placed there by someone in emotional power, some of which should have never misused that power, many times being our mother or father.  It is cruel for any parent to displace this on a child yet what we must know is that our mentors did the best they could and sometimes were to self-loathing they brought that as food for our brain and heart.  Knowing where this lie comes from is the primary step to understanding how it was born and then how we will release this stupid lie.  

Worthiness is everyone's given right on this earth: 

Everyone is worthy of God's grace.  He or she does not determine who is deserving of the grace.  The CEO of a bank is as worthy as the woman in jail for killing her abusive husband and the man who lost it and killed his entire family.  Worthiness is everyone's gift for every single human being and animal.  The fact that we determine that a CEO is more important than a young man in jail fails to apply the law of the universe which is that everyone deserves grace and that everyone has value.  We like to think we are the judge of good and evil but the fact is that we are not.  I am as worthy as any other person on this earth.  You are as worthy as any other person on this earth.  Either we're all valuable or none of us are.  

Worthiness is not what we own or how much prestige we have: 

We love to own stuff.  If we have a luxury home and car with rock star clothing then we believe we are valuable, sometimes more than others.  We dilute ourselves into thinking that what we own is our value and others will affirm that any time we like.  We live in a world where money, status and stuff is a big deal and people notice us.  Everyone knew who Versace was and who his sister is based on his huge success in fashion and partially based on his horrific death.  We all know who Trump is because even before be became the president he was and remains in the status of rich, privildedged not to mention arrogant human beings. Still we place a lot of value on people with money and golden materialistic things.  Worthiness has nothing to do with owning anything but we seem to the rich.  Worthiness comes from how rich we are in joy, abundance, service, kindness, and our willingness to give.  

Perhaps this all makes common sense to some of you.  On the other hand we struggle so much with this simple aspect of our life.  I admit it is not so simple and want to end this by saying.  Worthiness comes from who you are at the depth of your soul.  Worthiness comes from who you are in spirit and in your willingness to be humble no matter how much you have.  Worthiness does not come from what you own but rather the meaning of your life.