Mission Possible 12-01-13
Today was an average day where I admit there were some rather unbalancing moments. I tell myself that everything is going to be OK repeatedly until I believe it. Oh the power of thought and self-talk. There have been a few of those days but less than the ones filled with hope, prayer and reverence, specifically hope. I end up showing up and getting beyond it but there are some moments when I freaking really wonder. It can get a little scary, those demon like thoughts and bad energy. Thank goodness for the laughter last night and the night before that as it shelters me. I cannot take every moment to seriously or I would FALTER.
The highlight of my day was a class I attended along with second WEE There are three weeks of programs here each is a week in sequence and each experience is different. If one has been here before and done one week then you have the option to do the second and so on or you could stay all three weeks. It is mandated that missionaries take at least three classes a week and so today I decided on "Your Life is a Gift" led by Sophia. It is more of an open ended dialog and lots of audience participation. It went from individual self-esteem topics to relationship stuff. At one point I thought about mine with my husband and what came forth is the fact that he is one of my teachers in life and I am one of his teachers as well. We are each other's teachers in relationship if we are willing to listen and learn without so much judgement and fear. If we could simply know that our partner's reflect back to us often what we need to take a closer look at we would be so much more understanding and much more in harmony I thought. I also deduced that we just try to dam hard to win and that acceptance is key which brings me to my health opportunity and being in a place of not fighting but of relinquishing. Not judging but having faith. Not letting the fear take over but rather letting God, joy and laughter take over.
Here I am experiencing new connections and new ways of connecting. I am being invited to show up for myself and to show up for others around me. Every day I get a chance to begin anew without any check marks and I can chose to be or not be. I can let this health issue bring me down or I can learn from it. I can be in relationship with the people around me who have a lot to share or I can isolate and stay clear of it all until I am on the schedule. I get to chose and believe me that is sometimes a challenge for me. How do I help myself to some of the attention and love I give others around me? The answer is that I have got to see me as a priority. I have to say yes to me first and I have to show up for Elliott. That is what I will do. That is what is next for me as of tomorrow.
The highlight of my day was a class I attended along with second WEE There are three weeks of programs here each is a week in sequence and each experience is different. If one has been here before and done one week then you have the option to do the second and so on or you could stay all three weeks. It is mandated that missionaries take at least three classes a week and so today I decided on "Your Life is a Gift" led by Sophia. It is more of an open ended dialog and lots of audience participation. It went from individual self-esteem topics to relationship stuff. At one point I thought about mine with my husband and what came forth is the fact that he is one of my teachers in life and I am one of his teachers as well. We are each other's teachers in relationship if we are willing to listen and learn without so much judgement and fear. If we could simply know that our partner's reflect back to us often what we need to take a closer look at we would be so much more understanding and much more in harmony I thought. I also deduced that we just try to dam hard to win and that acceptance is key which brings me to my health opportunity and being in a place of not fighting but of relinquishing. Not judging but having faith. Not letting the fear take over but rather letting God, joy and laughter take over.
Here I am experiencing new connections and new ways of connecting. I am being invited to show up for myself and to show up for others around me. Every day I get a chance to begin anew without any check marks and I can chose to be or not be. I can let this health issue bring me down or I can learn from it. I can be in relationship with the people around me who have a lot to share or I can isolate and stay clear of it all until I am on the schedule. I get to chose and believe me that is sometimes a challenge for me. How do I help myself to some of the attention and love I give others around me? The answer is that I have got to see me as a priority. I have to say yes to me first and I have to show up for Elliott. That is what I will do. That is what is next for me as of tomorrow.
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