Missionary Work 12-3-13
Today I woke up later than usual about 9:30 am. I was restless last night but unsure as to why. I started my day with lunch and meeting up with the two buddies that were assigned to me, men that have never been to OHI before. My intention is to support them in every way possible. Both are kind souls and one is hyperactive to the degree that I sometimes see him walking in circles. He seems uncomfortable in his skin and I am not sure why, but it's all good. In the end what I am learning is that I am not here to fix anyone and that all I can do it my very best. And so it is that my intention is to do my work with a certain amount of ease and complete honesty, not looking for accolades or any sort of prize but rather being in my natural state of being, that being good enough.
My mission for today was to teach and exercise class and assist the teachers in two other classes; Yoga Mediation and Food Prep. I love the exercise class assignment the best to be purely honest but I do enjoy the Food Prep class as well. More than this there are many things that come up spontaneously like the girl who I decided to sit with for dinner who had approached me to ask me if I was her buddy-mentor. Something just drew her to me and me to her. She shared that I reminded her of a family member who she loved dearly. I find there are not accidents here at OHI. We were meant to meet here and to get to know each other. This lovely woman and I talked for a time and it was magical just like the last woman I sat with. It seems to be my calling to connect with women and for women to connect with me. I no longer take it lightly but rather see it as a message around what I am here to do for goddess. That divine goddess in me seems to want to nurture itself with the women around me. I feel like it may be the love that I did not receive from my own mother and the love I DID receive from my grandmother. In any case it is wonderful to service and be enlightened and at ease with people I barely know. I am not sure why they are usually women but more than one has stated that she felt safe with me. Given the history of abuse by men towards women in our society I could understand that.
I have now been her for almost 2.5 weeks. I am at this crossroad between being comfortable and knowing to being weary and unsure yet something keeps me here. I know that this something is about healing and about faith. I am tested to the limit here and there is a place in my heart that speaks to my courage and God is the only one that knows the answer. I cannot worry myself about why I am here. I cannot question why I am here. I don't even want to know why other than to heal and have faith and remain open to the possibilities. What I am doing is taking it one day each day with as much ease as possible knowing that each day will be revealed to me and that I don't need to know everything.
My mission for today was to teach and exercise class and assist the teachers in two other classes; Yoga Mediation and Food Prep. I love the exercise class assignment the best to be purely honest but I do enjoy the Food Prep class as well. More than this there are many things that come up spontaneously like the girl who I decided to sit with for dinner who had approached me to ask me if I was her buddy-mentor. Something just drew her to me and me to her. She shared that I reminded her of a family member who she loved dearly. I find there are not accidents here at OHI. We were meant to meet here and to get to know each other. This lovely woman and I talked for a time and it was magical just like the last woman I sat with. It seems to be my calling to connect with women and for women to connect with me. I no longer take it lightly but rather see it as a message around what I am here to do for goddess. That divine goddess in me seems to want to nurture itself with the women around me. I feel like it may be the love that I did not receive from my own mother and the love I DID receive from my grandmother. In any case it is wonderful to service and be enlightened and at ease with people I barely know. I am not sure why they are usually women but more than one has stated that she felt safe with me. Given the history of abuse by men towards women in our society I could understand that.
I have now been her for almost 2.5 weeks. I am at this crossroad between being comfortable and knowing to being weary and unsure yet something keeps me here. I know that this something is about healing and about faith. I am tested to the limit here and there is a place in my heart that speaks to my courage and God is the only one that knows the answer. I cannot worry myself about why I am here. I cannot question why I am here. I don't even want to know why other than to heal and have faith and remain open to the possibilities. What I am doing is taking it one day each day with as much ease as possible knowing that each day will be revealed to me and that I don't need to know everything.
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