Bad Powerful Girls
I use to cringe when people would say "be a good girl" to my daughters and I still dislike it when they say this to my granddaughters. Although I dislike saying "good boy" to boys it really gets my goat more when they refer to girls. The connotation in these words is that girls are suppose to be good in order to be liked and underneath the words there is this suspicious endeavor to control girls and to make them believe that if they comply they are good girls. I personally believe this is a provincial thinking that is meant to keep girls in a position that has no rewards. Instead of saying to a girl that she is "a good girl" I believe we should be saying things like "now that's girl power" so that the message that girls receive is that when they do things in an intentional way that this is empowering them and that when they make their own decisions they have just as much right to do so as boys.
I will not forget when I was reading a story to my second grade class about a boy who was a pilot. Before I could even get to the next page a girl raised her hand and asked: "Can girls fly planes?". It was in that very moment that I realize that part of t he work I would do as a male teacher would be to ensure that girls were represented in everything that I taught and that before they would ask me that I would be the one to point out that girls can be doctors, pilots, truck drivers and business owners. This was early in my career and I was truly enlightened so that I would pair boys with girls when I formed teams or cooperation groups, many times making the girls the leader and spokesperson for the group when they needed to report.
We still have a long way to go when it comes to equality between men and women. There are still many, if not most, women being paid less than men for the same job. Men are stil being patronizing towards women who are assertive and abuse against women does not seem to be improving enough. By now one would think it to be eliminated completely. Still in some countries women are being killed for being female, doing what they want or thinking they deserve being treated fairly by the government and by men. In a world where white men are still the majority of the decision makers in our society both in government and business we are faced with the task of abolishing inequality. One would think that in 2016 we would have this, but sadly we do not. You know how they say "I got this"? Well we don't.
Men who I have interviewed and asked quesitons about women like Nicki Manaj or Rihanna practically jump out of their sometimes sagging pants when I say I love them as artist. I happen to like the bad girl image more than I the "good girl" be compliant image. A lot more! Nicki Manaj said it in one song: "I am not a girl that can be defined". And then there is my favorite one of Beyoncé that is "all the things you own are in the box to the left". In the video she snubs a guy who is leaving with nothing becasue he arrived with nothing. Men seem to dislike these kinds of songs and I think it says a lot about some men who find powerful women like these singers intimidating. These women cannot be pushed around for the most part and men find women who are powerful too much to handle. Yet what men fail to understand is that these women are depicting an image. This is not who they really are, hello! The world of fame and sexy videos are not what defines these women. It is the fact that they are who they are and don't apologize for it, nor do they need to. And yes they are kick ass talented.
In the end men who are men are not surprised or afraid of women that are empowered. Men who know who they are Like Madonna before them they are actresses and singers. They are selling an image just as Madonna sold her image. Women like Natalie Cole sand with women like Gracy May becasue each of them knows their own way of being and their personal taste in music and styles. We are so easily intimidated by the women who are "bad girls". I call them bad ass girls. What I know is that these women pave their own path in their career and in their lives and that they have a right to. Why do they have to depict the one image that is consumable and common? They don't. And I for one am a man who knows that Rihanna is not her song lyrics or the image on her music videos. She is likely a sweet, kind, generous woman who like every human being has gone through some dark moments. Nothing wrong with that.
I will not forget when I was reading a story to my second grade class about a boy who was a pilot. Before I could even get to the next page a girl raised her hand and asked: "Can girls fly planes?". It was in that very moment that I realize that part of t he work I would do as a male teacher would be to ensure that girls were represented in everything that I taught and that before they would ask me that I would be the one to point out that girls can be doctors, pilots, truck drivers and business owners. This was early in my career and I was truly enlightened so that I would pair boys with girls when I formed teams or cooperation groups, many times making the girls the leader and spokesperson for the group when they needed to report.
We still have a long way to go when it comes to equality between men and women. There are still many, if not most, women being paid less than men for the same job. Men are stil being patronizing towards women who are assertive and abuse against women does not seem to be improving enough. By now one would think it to be eliminated completely. Still in some countries women are being killed for being female, doing what they want or thinking they deserve being treated fairly by the government and by men. In a world where white men are still the majority of the decision makers in our society both in government and business we are faced with the task of abolishing inequality. One would think that in 2016 we would have this, but sadly we do not. You know how they say "I got this"? Well we don't.
Men who I have interviewed and asked quesitons about women like Nicki Manaj or Rihanna practically jump out of their sometimes sagging pants when I say I love them as artist. I happen to like the bad girl image more than I the "good girl" be compliant image. A lot more! Nicki Manaj said it in one song: "I am not a girl that can be defined". And then there is my favorite one of Beyoncé that is "all the things you own are in the box to the left". In the video she snubs a guy who is leaving with nothing becasue he arrived with nothing. Men seem to dislike these kinds of songs and I think it says a lot about some men who find powerful women like these singers intimidating. These women cannot be pushed around for the most part and men find women who are powerful too much to handle. Yet what men fail to understand is that these women are depicting an image. This is not who they really are, hello! The world of fame and sexy videos are not what defines these women. It is the fact that they are who they are and don't apologize for it, nor do they need to. And yes they are kick ass talented.
In the end men who are men are not surprised or afraid of women that are empowered. Men who know who they are Like Madonna before them they are actresses and singers. They are selling an image just as Madonna sold her image. Women like Natalie Cole sand with women like Gracy May becasue each of them knows their own way of being and their personal taste in music and styles. We are so easily intimidated by the women who are "bad girls". I call them bad ass girls. What I know is that these women pave their own path in their career and in their lives and that they have a right to. Why do they have to depict the one image that is consumable and common? They don't. And I for one am a man who knows that Rihanna is not her song lyrics or the image on her music videos. She is likely a sweet, kind, generous woman who like every human being has gone through some dark moments. Nothing wrong with that.
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