Forgive You and Forgive Everyone
Some people believe that forgiving others means that we then become friends with all the people who we perceive have wronged us. Not! Forgiving others simply means that we release ourselves from the anguish that we may be experiencing because of our anger towards them. My grandmother said it very well: "I can forgive but I don't forget". It is the women who have experienced repeated abuse that forgive the abuser and forget what he did to her. On the other hand the person who has been abused and forgives but does not forget can perhaps walk away from the abuser. Forgetting the bad behavior of another person can lead us back into a connection with that person, while remembering and forgiving will set us free. We can know that this person is not for us yet do our best to understand that the abuser is in pain and in need of prayer. As hard as this may seem it is the only way to go forward after the experience and the pain.
The way that forgiveness works best is if we begin by looking inside of us for the judgements we have of ourselves, usually the things in our past. We judge ourselves for staying with someone who abused us, we judge ourselves for allowing a friend to take advantage of us, we judge ourselves for not being smart enough to let go when we deem we should have let go. All these judgements have to be forgiven and statements of forigivness as well as rituals of forgiveness need to take place in order for us to forgive ourselves and others. There are many forgiveness rituals but for me I think that when one burns something it is a sign of completion and letting go. Writing the judgments of ourselves and then burning them and making statements out loud help to heal the pain inside. We may even include others in this loving ceremony that we trust.
Making amends with those we deem we have hurt is a clearing for the heart. What we have done in the past to others weighs on us and we carry this load everywhere we are. We cannot run from it but we can run towards it by asking others to forgive us. In AA there is a step that asks alcoholics to make amends with others and I believe that 12 step programs are a viable solution to what ails many of us who have suffered with alcoholic parents or spouses. Making amends just means that you are willing to contact some of the people in your life and say you are sorry for a specific action on your part that may have hurt them. The reason for making amends is really for us to live at peace and be able to continue our journey more freely and with less burden. Whether the person you make amends with accepts it or not should not be the reason you apologize but rather for you to remove what may be a barrier for you in instances when you believe an apology is in order. We can even forgive people who are not longer with us in body but in spirit. Of course not everyone believes in spiritual presence in our lives but I happen to be a believer.
It takes time to forgive yourself for the judgements you have about your body, your lifestyle or other things that come up for you. Don't rush yourself and be kind to yourself about it all. Life is going to deal you some hard times but nothing is more healing than letting go of the past. In order to do that you have to be willing to be in a place of forgiveness. It is a daily job and there will be times when you have to simply stop, reflect on what you are thinking and ask yourself to forgive yourself. A statement of forgiveness can sound like this: "I forgive myself for judging myself as a bad father because I could not provide everything for my children" or "I forgive myself for judging my mom as a horrible mother when she was doing the best she knew how with the tools she had".
Today is the best time to start a forgiveness journey. Take the time to silence your thoughts for a few minutes and then begin the process of writing forgiveness statements for the things you feel you are in judgement about yourself. If it works better for you write the things you are in judgement about yourself and then burn them in a safe environment, making sure the fire is contained. When you are doing the burning make statements like: "I forgive myself and let go of the pain inside of me". Do this as many times as you need to and know that God is hearing you and healing you from whatever judgements you are carrying around with you. You are good enough, tall enough, beautiful enough, smart enough and talented enough. Your inner guide is wise and has the ability to heal you completely. Go forward beloved, go forward.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
The way that forgiveness works best is if we begin by looking inside of us for the judgements we have of ourselves, usually the things in our past. We judge ourselves for staying with someone who abused us, we judge ourselves for allowing a friend to take advantage of us, we judge ourselves for not being smart enough to let go when we deem we should have let go. All these judgements have to be forgiven and statements of forigivness as well as rituals of forgiveness need to take place in order for us to forgive ourselves and others. There are many forgiveness rituals but for me I think that when one burns something it is a sign of completion and letting go. Writing the judgments of ourselves and then burning them and making statements out loud help to heal the pain inside. We may even include others in this loving ceremony that we trust.
Making amends with those we deem we have hurt is a clearing for the heart. What we have done in the past to others weighs on us and we carry this load everywhere we are. We cannot run from it but we can run towards it by asking others to forgive us. In AA there is a step that asks alcoholics to make amends with others and I believe that 12 step programs are a viable solution to what ails many of us who have suffered with alcoholic parents or spouses. Making amends just means that you are willing to contact some of the people in your life and say you are sorry for a specific action on your part that may have hurt them. The reason for making amends is really for us to live at peace and be able to continue our journey more freely and with less burden. Whether the person you make amends with accepts it or not should not be the reason you apologize but rather for you to remove what may be a barrier for you in instances when you believe an apology is in order. We can even forgive people who are not longer with us in body but in spirit. Of course not everyone believes in spiritual presence in our lives but I happen to be a believer.
It takes time to forgive yourself for the judgements you have about your body, your lifestyle or other things that come up for you. Don't rush yourself and be kind to yourself about it all. Life is going to deal you some hard times but nothing is more healing than letting go of the past. In order to do that you have to be willing to be in a place of forgiveness. It is a daily job and there will be times when you have to simply stop, reflect on what you are thinking and ask yourself to forgive yourself. A statement of forgiveness can sound like this: "I forgive myself for judging myself as a bad father because I could not provide everything for my children" or "I forgive myself for judging my mom as a horrible mother when she was doing the best she knew how with the tools she had".
Today is the best time to start a forgiveness journey. Take the time to silence your thoughts for a few minutes and then begin the process of writing forgiveness statements for the things you feel you are in judgement about yourself. If it works better for you write the things you are in judgement about yourself and then burn them in a safe environment, making sure the fire is contained. When you are doing the burning make statements like: "I forgive myself and let go of the pain inside of me". Do this as many times as you need to and know that God is hearing you and healing you from whatever judgements you are carrying around with you. You are good enough, tall enough, beautiful enough, smart enough and talented enough. Your inner guide is wise and has the ability to heal you completely. Go forward beloved, go forward.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
Comments
Post a Comment