Latino Family Values
Today I met a woman who was from Columbia who just moved to the US six months ago. During our conversation she shared how frustrated she was because she did not yet speak English. She told me that in Columbia she was a therapist and that it is so hard for her to overcome the things that are being presented to her in her life right now. She said that it seems like other Latinos here are jealous and don't like to help each other. This perception surprised me in a way because what I have found is that Latinos are relatively kind and share their things with others. I shared this with her and she seemed surprised. It was to me a perception that she had in only a short time in the United States. I told her to give herself time and to open her heart up to whatever love comes her way. I then gave her my number and email and told her to be free to call and maybe join me and some friends when we went to dance salsa. She seemed happy and yet I have often times experienced that people who you just meet don't normally contact you. Yet I stepped out and invited her into my life and that of my family stating that we are friendly and love to adopt others into our family. I admit that I yearn for her to call and make that initial contact so that she will know once again that Latino family values are often times as loving here as they are in our home lands.
I have heard from others who have had some negative experiences with their own people. In fact I have heard Black women say they would never date a Black man and white women say they loath the way that white men behave. For me this is a self-hating behavior that comes from a place of fear and a time of hurt. At one time or another people were betrayed by their own. In fact this is not that unusual because some people of color have adopted the same separatist thinking as some whites have of us. As odd as it seems we sometiems lose our Latno family customs that tell us that we are here to serve and join the people who we learn to be competitive from. We forget our family values and we even forget our mother tongue. We become so assimilated that nothing matters more than our own survival no matter what we have to dispose of, even our own values. I find it sad that a woman who has been here for only six months feels rejected and dismissed by our own people. I find it sadder still that we as a people have sold out and no longer value our Latino roots.
Today I played some merengue music and my granddaughter stated that she wished she understood the words in the lyrics. She now yearns to speak and understand a language that I feel was taken from her because at one time or another she did not find it important and may have, like many children, minimized it's importance. Today she wishes she spoke the language of her mother land where her ancestors are reaching out to her energetically. She feels a kinship to her language and that feeling will only get stronger. After all she comes from a grandfather like me and a daughter like mine who feel as though our roots are very important. I shared that it is never too late and encouraged her to look into classes at her high school. Secretly I wish for her to speak her mother tongue even though many Americans would not agree with my perception. What I know is that part of the pride of being a Latino has been my ability to speak Spanish fluently. As a former teacher of bilingual education I adamantly feel strongly about speaking another language, period.
My sister once met an elderly man on the bus. It so happened that he was getting off at the same stop as her and he lived a block down the street. As a strong Latina with strong family values she found it a must to walk him home. Eventually my sisters invited him over for a family holiday meal and we all wondered who he was. To our dismay she stated that she'd met him on the bus. After the initial judgements what I realized was that my sister had a beautiful gift of knowing people and of inviting them into her life, making them part of the family. Just as I did with the lady by the pool today, she too invited many to partake at her table. I often smile inside when I think about the night she asked me to come with her to the old man's home down the street. He lived alone but in an environment that he created filled with artifacts that seemed to mean something of value, including a collection of canes he'd decorated by hand. It was as if God had picked him for my sister who was also a collector of old things of meaning. It was her Latino family values that we learned early on that made her adopt an elderly Jewish white man. I was and still am proud of her.
Latino family values ask us to unite and love every person in the world including the dark people in our own culture. Latino family values make it easy for us to adopt any person who needs to be adopted. Latino family values guide us to a loving place to know that there may be a person down the street that needs a meal. Almost anyone can eat at our table because our table is God's table. My grandmother said: "Donde come uno comen dos" (where one eats two can eat). With that said I ask you all to stand up for what you believe and keep the family values and customs of your origin. It may be that we are made to feel as though we must be assimilated or not suceed but we cannot live fully in that notion. Latino family values are worth saving.
I have heard from others who have had some negative experiences with their own people. In fact I have heard Black women say they would never date a Black man and white women say they loath the way that white men behave. For me this is a self-hating behavior that comes from a place of fear and a time of hurt. At one time or another people were betrayed by their own. In fact this is not that unusual because some people of color have adopted the same separatist thinking as some whites have of us. As odd as it seems we sometiems lose our Latno family customs that tell us that we are here to serve and join the people who we learn to be competitive from. We forget our family values and we even forget our mother tongue. We become so assimilated that nothing matters more than our own survival no matter what we have to dispose of, even our own values. I find it sad that a woman who has been here for only six months feels rejected and dismissed by our own people. I find it sadder still that we as a people have sold out and no longer value our Latino roots.
Today I played some merengue music and my granddaughter stated that she wished she understood the words in the lyrics. She now yearns to speak and understand a language that I feel was taken from her because at one time or another she did not find it important and may have, like many children, minimized it's importance. Today she wishes she spoke the language of her mother land where her ancestors are reaching out to her energetically. She feels a kinship to her language and that feeling will only get stronger. After all she comes from a grandfather like me and a daughter like mine who feel as though our roots are very important. I shared that it is never too late and encouraged her to look into classes at her high school. Secretly I wish for her to speak her mother tongue even though many Americans would not agree with my perception. What I know is that part of the pride of being a Latino has been my ability to speak Spanish fluently. As a former teacher of bilingual education I adamantly feel strongly about speaking another language, period.
My sister once met an elderly man on the bus. It so happened that he was getting off at the same stop as her and he lived a block down the street. As a strong Latina with strong family values she found it a must to walk him home. Eventually my sisters invited him over for a family holiday meal and we all wondered who he was. To our dismay she stated that she'd met him on the bus. After the initial judgements what I realized was that my sister had a beautiful gift of knowing people and of inviting them into her life, making them part of the family. Just as I did with the lady by the pool today, she too invited many to partake at her table. I often smile inside when I think about the night she asked me to come with her to the old man's home down the street. He lived alone but in an environment that he created filled with artifacts that seemed to mean something of value, including a collection of canes he'd decorated by hand. It was as if God had picked him for my sister who was also a collector of old things of meaning. It was her Latino family values that we learned early on that made her adopt an elderly Jewish white man. I was and still am proud of her.
Latino family values ask us to unite and love every person in the world including the dark people in our own culture. Latino family values make it easy for us to adopt any person who needs to be adopted. Latino family values guide us to a loving place to know that there may be a person down the street that needs a meal. Almost anyone can eat at our table because our table is God's table. My grandmother said: "Donde come uno comen dos" (where one eats two can eat). With that said I ask you all to stand up for what you believe and keep the family values and customs of your origin. It may be that we are made to feel as though we must be assimilated or not suceed but we cannot live fully in that notion. Latino family values are worth saving.
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