Forceful Love
Never force love and attention onto people who are not ready to gracefully and lovingly receive it.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
July 7, 2016
This is my share to those I love and to the people who have taken the time to connect with me. Like many of you I have attempted to force my love and attention on people who are not ready or that do not know what to appropriately do with my love. I have spent many years of my life trying to get people to like me by giving them exactly what I thought they wanted from me. What I know today is that this is not just a waste of time and energy, it is a waste of my love. This is not to say that I would not send love to people even if they are not in my life and even if they have left my life. My purpose today is to send love to the people who did not love me back knowing fully that this is not something I need to feel is my fault.
When we send love to others who cannot seem to love us back, we are doing what God intended which is to be in a place of grace no matter how a person behaves on us. When we love people who are not responsive we are behaving in the same way as them in that we are only trying to please others and to make ourselves look good. In reality love is not about what we get back but rather a thought we maintain in our hearts. We may not get a reaction from sending a card, emailing or calling someone when we think they should be grateful and call us back. If we are sure about the fact that we love someone we don't need a response.
Love is what we define it as and many times we define it in such a way that it's impossible for others to respond to us. We are so adamant and forceful that people run from us. In fact, many people are afraid of love and the responsibility that brings to them. We must understand that many people are not able to respond to love in a way that we may know of. Some will respond in their own way thinking it is sufficient and yet when we are in judgement we don't see that love response, however small it may be.
I would like to share a story about a man I will call Gilbert. Gilbert met a woman at a dance club who had for a time been admiring him because he was such a great dancer. The woman would say hello to him and he would respond with a short hello and keep walking past her. Gilbert was a bit suspicious of the woman and did not want to give her too much attention believing that she might have an agenda that he would not be aligned with. After many months he noticed that the woman would not give in and so he approached her and introduced himself. After a few years of hanging with her and teaching her to dance, the lady found another past time, namely another woman who happened to be a dance student of Gilbert's dance class and who he introduced her to. Once she got into the relationship Gilbert saw very little of her. He had resigned to thinking that he was no longer important to her as a friend but when he became ill she volunteered to assist in his healing and stay at her home. She held him as he cried from the cancer treatments and the sorrow of being left by his partner. She was there at a time when he truly needed someone. Today Gilbert sees the woman only on oecassion but what he understands after many years is that not everyone shows their love in the amount of time they spend with you but in the quality of time they share. Today Gilbert considers her to be his best friend.
Love cannot be measured in dollars or even in time. Love is expressed differently by different people. When we have too high of an expectation of someone often times they become overwhelmed thinking that nothing will please us. That is when they run. We must know love to be something that we manifest ourselves by the way we think of ourselves. Those of us who do not consider ourselves good enough will be viewed as not good enough and create that kind of thought in others. We must know that loving ourselves is the only way to love others and to create an aura of love around us. We don't have to chase love down. We don't have to prove anything to anyone in order to be liked or loved. We simply have to live a full life and know that who we are is good enough because love my friends cannot be forced: anytime, on anyone, for any reason.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
July 7, 2016
This is my share to those I love and to the people who have taken the time to connect with me. Like many of you I have attempted to force my love and attention on people who are not ready or that do not know what to appropriately do with my love. I have spent many years of my life trying to get people to like me by giving them exactly what I thought they wanted from me. What I know today is that this is not just a waste of time and energy, it is a waste of my love. This is not to say that I would not send love to people even if they are not in my life and even if they have left my life. My purpose today is to send love to the people who did not love me back knowing fully that this is not something I need to feel is my fault.
When we send love to others who cannot seem to love us back, we are doing what God intended which is to be in a place of grace no matter how a person behaves on us. When we love people who are not responsive we are behaving in the same way as them in that we are only trying to please others and to make ourselves look good. In reality love is not about what we get back but rather a thought we maintain in our hearts. We may not get a reaction from sending a card, emailing or calling someone when we think they should be grateful and call us back. If we are sure about the fact that we love someone we don't need a response.
Love is what we define it as and many times we define it in such a way that it's impossible for others to respond to us. We are so adamant and forceful that people run from us. In fact, many people are afraid of love and the responsibility that brings to them. We must understand that many people are not able to respond to love in a way that we may know of. Some will respond in their own way thinking it is sufficient and yet when we are in judgement we don't see that love response, however small it may be.
I would like to share a story about a man I will call Gilbert. Gilbert met a woman at a dance club who had for a time been admiring him because he was such a great dancer. The woman would say hello to him and he would respond with a short hello and keep walking past her. Gilbert was a bit suspicious of the woman and did not want to give her too much attention believing that she might have an agenda that he would not be aligned with. After many months he noticed that the woman would not give in and so he approached her and introduced himself. After a few years of hanging with her and teaching her to dance, the lady found another past time, namely another woman who happened to be a dance student of Gilbert's dance class and who he introduced her to. Once she got into the relationship Gilbert saw very little of her. He had resigned to thinking that he was no longer important to her as a friend but when he became ill she volunteered to assist in his healing and stay at her home. She held him as he cried from the cancer treatments and the sorrow of being left by his partner. She was there at a time when he truly needed someone. Today Gilbert sees the woman only on oecassion but what he understands after many years is that not everyone shows their love in the amount of time they spend with you but in the quality of time they share. Today Gilbert considers her to be his best friend.
Love cannot be measured in dollars or even in time. Love is expressed differently by different people. When we have too high of an expectation of someone often times they become overwhelmed thinking that nothing will please us. That is when they run. We must know love to be something that we manifest ourselves by the way we think of ourselves. Those of us who do not consider ourselves good enough will be viewed as not good enough and create that kind of thought in others. We must know that loving ourselves is the only way to love others and to create an aura of love around us. We don't have to chase love down. We don't have to prove anything to anyone in order to be liked or loved. We simply have to live a full life and know that who we are is good enough because love my friends cannot be forced: anytime, on anyone, for any reason.
Comments
Post a Comment