The Early Signs
The early signs are the ones we sometimes ignore. These are the signs that will tell a woman whether this is a man they would like to be with or someone who early on is not the right man for them based on his behaviors early on. Here are some early signs of behaviors that raise a red flag and would be a good reason not to pursue a long term connection with a man:
How he treats others in public places: A man who would treat wait staff in restaurants poorly is the kind of man you don't want to be with. Men who treat service employees like salespeople or cashiers or wait staff badly are ones who would be more likely to treat you poorly. Men who lose their temper with people who are there to serve others is the kind of man who will lose his temper with you just the same. Take note of how a man you are dating treats others in public venues.
What he says about others including his parents: A man who has conflicts with family members, especially a lot of them, is the kind of man who does not get along well with others and may have deep family issues that are in need of healing. Sooner or later these issues will manifest in his relationship with you. A man who does not like his mom or dad should be looked into more closely.
He is a momma's boy: A man who is a momma's boy is always concerned about what his mom thinks and is often times afraid to hear what she has to say. Momma's boys have a strange and unhealthy relationship with their mothers and their mothers make awful mother-in-laws. When men are so worried about what their mom thinks about everything this is an early sign that a woman may want to keep looking.
How attentive he is: Men who are extremely attentive in the beginning of a relationship often times taper off quickly. They go from 60 to 0 in a matter of months. Likewise men who are not attentive at all will not be attentive in a serious long term relationship. Men who are not attentive are often times into themselves and worry more about what they want than how you feel or what you need. This type of man will not make a good partner and will become less and less attentive to your needs quickly. Eventually you will feel lonely in a relationship with this type of man.
How he dresses/his personal image: The way a man presents himself is how he feels inside. Men who look "raggedy" don't like themselves enough and could be lacking in self-esteem. He can also be a man who simply does not care about the way he looks but more often than not he is a person who is rebelling against something such as how looking good is conceited or strange in some manner. This type of man will give you grief about getting dressed constantly and in fact at times embarrass you. At times when one would expect someone to get dressed in a suit and tie he will be the one to argue against wearing it. This will often become a constant battle.
What he finds important and values: Men who do not value what is valuable to you will not suddenly change their value system. Things like family, spiritual beliefs, children, nature, health and wellness may be the things you value but if he does not express that he values the same things he is not the man for you. Trying to change a man's values does not normally work because as they say "you cannot teach an old dog new tricks".
The early signs in any relationship are ones we must listen to. Being acutely attentive and listening very closely to what a man says, what he thinks, how he presents his physical self and who he treats others is important to choosing the right person for you. We know that many times women overlook the negative character traits of a man when she is focusing on the positive ones yet it is crucial to take a closer look when you want to be with a man who is going to treat you with respect and who is more aligned with your values. Asking questions is good however observing his behaviors is even better. Always take things slowly and be sure to hold back until you get to know a man. Don't cloud the issue with having a physical connection before you get to know him. Stand back and get to know the man you will be with and take note of what he says, primarily what he values versus what you value. Being with someone is wonderful when he is the right person but being with the wrong guy is much worse than being alone.
How he treats others in public places: A man who would treat wait staff in restaurants poorly is the kind of man you don't want to be with. Men who treat service employees like salespeople or cashiers or wait staff badly are ones who would be more likely to treat you poorly. Men who lose their temper with people who are there to serve others is the kind of man who will lose his temper with you just the same. Take note of how a man you are dating treats others in public venues.
What he says about others including his parents: A man who has conflicts with family members, especially a lot of them, is the kind of man who does not get along well with others and may have deep family issues that are in need of healing. Sooner or later these issues will manifest in his relationship with you. A man who does not like his mom or dad should be looked into more closely.
He is a momma's boy: A man who is a momma's boy is always concerned about what his mom thinks and is often times afraid to hear what she has to say. Momma's boys have a strange and unhealthy relationship with their mothers and their mothers make awful mother-in-laws. When men are so worried about what their mom thinks about everything this is an early sign that a woman may want to keep looking.
How attentive he is: Men who are extremely attentive in the beginning of a relationship often times taper off quickly. They go from 60 to 0 in a matter of months. Likewise men who are not attentive at all will not be attentive in a serious long term relationship. Men who are not attentive are often times into themselves and worry more about what they want than how you feel or what you need. This type of man will not make a good partner and will become less and less attentive to your needs quickly. Eventually you will feel lonely in a relationship with this type of man.
How he dresses/his personal image: The way a man presents himself is how he feels inside. Men who look "raggedy" don't like themselves enough and could be lacking in self-esteem. He can also be a man who simply does not care about the way he looks but more often than not he is a person who is rebelling against something such as how looking good is conceited or strange in some manner. This type of man will give you grief about getting dressed constantly and in fact at times embarrass you. At times when one would expect someone to get dressed in a suit and tie he will be the one to argue against wearing it. This will often become a constant battle.
What he finds important and values: Men who do not value what is valuable to you will not suddenly change their value system. Things like family, spiritual beliefs, children, nature, health and wellness may be the things you value but if he does not express that he values the same things he is not the man for you. Trying to change a man's values does not normally work because as they say "you cannot teach an old dog new tricks".
The early signs in any relationship are ones we must listen to. Being acutely attentive and listening very closely to what a man says, what he thinks, how he presents his physical self and who he treats others is important to choosing the right person for you. We know that many times women overlook the negative character traits of a man when she is focusing on the positive ones yet it is crucial to take a closer look when you want to be with a man who is going to treat you with respect and who is more aligned with your values. Asking questions is good however observing his behaviors is even better. Always take things slowly and be sure to hold back until you get to know a man. Don't cloud the issue with having a physical connection before you get to know him. Stand back and get to know the man you will be with and take note of what he says, primarily what he values versus what you value. Being with someone is wonderful when he is the right person but being with the wrong guy is much worse than being alone.
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