Just Talk About It
Today I was once again reminded that open dialog is the best way to clear things up when a relationship is worth saving. What we often times forget is that when we close down and put up walls we are in effect ending a situation that could have otherwise been salvaged. For many of us the messages we get that feel negative are many times a calling to be more understanding and not personalize everything others do or say. Getting the clarity we need is an essential part of relationship building and feelings of trust with others. Many times we are not aware of what we are doing that effects another person but when we stop and become honest with others we can reach an understanding that will put us back on track.
Words are funny because when they are texted or emailed to another person they can and do get misunderstood. We must remember that when we are sending messages and not use texts to relay important information that should be discussed by phone or person to person. In this era it is shocking to me how little people actually talk to one another. I believe it is a serious issue with intimacy, which many people fear. It says to me that people are fearful of rejection and that they would rather text you than to say it in case your answer is not one they want to hear. Even though our technology is going off the charts I feel like there is nothing more loving than making that call or date to talk.
The tone of our communication makes a huge difference. We can say things harshly and even if the words are pretty it can be understood as a dig or a negative comment. We all know that we can say things like I love you and the tone of which we use will be the deciding factor as to whether the receiver of these words will accept it as real love or manipulation or sarcasm. I am guilty of being sarcastic and at times in my life I could tell that my words were offensive. I understood that the tone I used made a difference in how my words are received or in some cases rejected. Making sure we speak in a loving tone is one of the basics of communication with people we love and care about.
Our body language tells a story and at times that story is not pleasant or presents itself differently than we would have liked it to be interpreted by others. This is why we must be in touch with our bodies and what our body is saying to others. In spite of maximum awareness there will still be times when people will misinterpret what our body is saying to them. Just being more aware will help in not getting into situations that are misinterpreted by our look of discomfort or our passive posture.
Allowing things to fester is not a good idea because the longer we wait the worse it will get, usually. Water that stands still will many times begin to collect branches and other things that will rot. It is the same with our feelings. If we allow them to rot out we will eventually feel the aftermath of allowing things to get so bad there is no way to overcome it. Talking about things sooner than later is much more constructive and will serve you better.
Gossip or talking to someone else about an issue we are having with another person will backfire on us because what usually occurs is that the person you are talking to will put a different spin on what you are saying and may pass personal information about what you said. In turn the person that you may be upset with gets second hand information that is not accurate and this will likely make it worse. There is a find line between sharing information and gossip, especially when what you share includes judgments about another person. Women especially are loyal and will pass that information on thinking it is the right thing to do. This is why it is a good reason to go to the source and not talk to others about it.
Nothing replaces in person communication when there are issues between us and other we care about. My recommendation is that we talk to others in person when we need to resolve issues. Technology has truly been convenient but will never ever replace human connection. When we love someone we take the time to dialog and to share our feelings on an ongoing basis, not just on social media like FB.
Words are funny because when they are texted or emailed to another person they can and do get misunderstood. We must remember that when we are sending messages and not use texts to relay important information that should be discussed by phone or person to person. In this era it is shocking to me how little people actually talk to one another. I believe it is a serious issue with intimacy, which many people fear. It says to me that people are fearful of rejection and that they would rather text you than to say it in case your answer is not one they want to hear. Even though our technology is going off the charts I feel like there is nothing more loving than making that call or date to talk.
The tone of our communication makes a huge difference. We can say things harshly and even if the words are pretty it can be understood as a dig or a negative comment. We all know that we can say things like I love you and the tone of which we use will be the deciding factor as to whether the receiver of these words will accept it as real love or manipulation or sarcasm. I am guilty of being sarcastic and at times in my life I could tell that my words were offensive. I understood that the tone I used made a difference in how my words are received or in some cases rejected. Making sure we speak in a loving tone is one of the basics of communication with people we love and care about.
Our body language tells a story and at times that story is not pleasant or presents itself differently than we would have liked it to be interpreted by others. This is why we must be in touch with our bodies and what our body is saying to others. In spite of maximum awareness there will still be times when people will misinterpret what our body is saying to them. Just being more aware will help in not getting into situations that are misinterpreted by our look of discomfort or our passive posture.
Allowing things to fester is not a good idea because the longer we wait the worse it will get, usually. Water that stands still will many times begin to collect branches and other things that will rot. It is the same with our feelings. If we allow them to rot out we will eventually feel the aftermath of allowing things to get so bad there is no way to overcome it. Talking about things sooner than later is much more constructive and will serve you better.
Gossip or talking to someone else about an issue we are having with another person will backfire on us because what usually occurs is that the person you are talking to will put a different spin on what you are saying and may pass personal information about what you said. In turn the person that you may be upset with gets second hand information that is not accurate and this will likely make it worse. There is a find line between sharing information and gossip, especially when what you share includes judgments about another person. Women especially are loyal and will pass that information on thinking it is the right thing to do. This is why it is a good reason to go to the source and not talk to others about it.
Nothing replaces in person communication when there are issues between us and other we care about. My recommendation is that we talk to others in person when we need to resolve issues. Technology has truly been convenient but will never ever replace human connection. When we love someone we take the time to dialog and to share our feelings on an ongoing basis, not just on social media like FB.
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