Relationship Red Flags!
When we meet someone who is attractive and seems to be a nice person we believe we have found someone to love and hopefully someone who will love us and treat us well. Unfortunately many times we fail to see the early signs that are yellow flags and then later the red flags. It is natural for us to want to believe that the person we have met is the one who is meant for us but in reality there will be many people we are meant to meet in order to figure out what we do not want. In fact we will likely meet more people who are not a good match for us than ones that are. This is when we need to think clearly and see what is in front of us without biases and without judgements. Here are some early signs that the person in front of you is not for you:
1. No boundaries:
People who tell jokes at your expense or cross your boundaries or comfort zone are ones who may lack boundaries. These are the people who will say things that are not nice and couch them in a joke as if it were funny, but in reality it is not. In fact a person who crosses your boundaries early on is likely one you don't want to continue to pursue a connection with. Touching you in the wrong spots on your body or kissing you passionately on a first date are clues of a person without boundaries.
2. Tells your story:
Any time a person retells the things you have told him or her they are telling your story or information you confided in them. When a person tells someone else something you told them in secret this is a good sign that this person is not trust worth or someone you can trust with your information. At times he or she will tell your information in public believing it to be innocent yet anyone who is driven to share your information or things about you is a person whose intention is to embarrass you and a person who does not respect your personal information.
3. They cannot hold up to the heat:
A person who cannot be present for you when you are upset or angry is one who cannot support you in times of need. Any person who cannot handle the bad times with the good times or does not know how to be loving and supportive when you are upset and need them is not the kind of person you want to continue to be with. In a very simple way of putting this, the person is a coward and will not be able to be there for you when you need them.
4. They triangulate you with others:
Any person who bashes you to their family and friends is one who is accustomed to triangulating the person they are with and others in their life. They will complain about you to everyone else and not tell you what is wrong or what they need from you. In many cases there is eventually a blow out between you and his or her family and friends over time, one by one. In the end he or she will accuse you of not being able to get along with others he loves but in reality he or she placed you right smack in the middle of him and others.
5. Liars:
People who lie to you, even about small things, are likely people who have a habit of lying. Liars will make up stories about where they were and who they were with. Eventually the lies become more and more serious and more frequent. People who lie do not make good partners and this is a very serious red flag. Dishonest people are ones who believe that their lies are justified but in reality it is something they are addicted to doing. Liars are among the most difficult people to live with.
6. Too Intense to Soon:
When someone gets too intense much too soon this is a sign that they may be possessive and possibly jealous. It is also a sign that he or she does not want to risk you seeing their dark side because it is one that is intense as well. Moving too fast in a relationship is a bad idea in itself and there are many people who want to go so fast as to make you feel uncomfortable. This kind of fast and furious kind of approach is an indicator and a red red red flag.
7. Lack of respect:
There are many ways that others show you that they do not respect you and one of them is simply the way they speak to you and the tone that they use. When you suspect that you are not being respected then you are not. Observe how he or she treats others and determine if there is a general disrespectful approach. If you see it, run in the other direction.
To be continued:
1. No boundaries:
People who tell jokes at your expense or cross your boundaries or comfort zone are ones who may lack boundaries. These are the people who will say things that are not nice and couch them in a joke as if it were funny, but in reality it is not. In fact a person who crosses your boundaries early on is likely one you don't want to continue to pursue a connection with. Touching you in the wrong spots on your body or kissing you passionately on a first date are clues of a person without boundaries.
2. Tells your story:
Any time a person retells the things you have told him or her they are telling your story or information you confided in them. When a person tells someone else something you told them in secret this is a good sign that this person is not trust worth or someone you can trust with your information. At times he or she will tell your information in public believing it to be innocent yet anyone who is driven to share your information or things about you is a person whose intention is to embarrass you and a person who does not respect your personal information.
3. They cannot hold up to the heat:
A person who cannot be present for you when you are upset or angry is one who cannot support you in times of need. Any person who cannot handle the bad times with the good times or does not know how to be loving and supportive when you are upset and need them is not the kind of person you want to continue to be with. In a very simple way of putting this, the person is a coward and will not be able to be there for you when you need them.
4. They triangulate you with others:
Any person who bashes you to their family and friends is one who is accustomed to triangulating the person they are with and others in their life. They will complain about you to everyone else and not tell you what is wrong or what they need from you. In many cases there is eventually a blow out between you and his or her family and friends over time, one by one. In the end he or she will accuse you of not being able to get along with others he loves but in reality he or she placed you right smack in the middle of him and others.
5. Liars:
People who lie to you, even about small things, are likely people who have a habit of lying. Liars will make up stories about where they were and who they were with. Eventually the lies become more and more serious and more frequent. People who lie do not make good partners and this is a very serious red flag. Dishonest people are ones who believe that their lies are justified but in reality it is something they are addicted to doing. Liars are among the most difficult people to live with.
6. Too Intense to Soon:
When someone gets too intense much too soon this is a sign that they may be possessive and possibly jealous. It is also a sign that he or she does not want to risk you seeing their dark side because it is one that is intense as well. Moving too fast in a relationship is a bad idea in itself and there are many people who want to go so fast as to make you feel uncomfortable. This kind of fast and furious kind of approach is an indicator and a red red red flag.
7. Lack of respect:
There are many ways that others show you that they do not respect you and one of them is simply the way they speak to you and the tone that they use. When you suspect that you are not being respected then you are not. Observe how he or she treats others and determine if there is a general disrespectful approach. If you see it, run in the other direction.
To be continued:
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