Getting Closure Achieving Peace
Today I found out that I am closer to closure in a relationship with a person that I loved but I did not like. Today I am closer to ending a painful situation that for me was whipping myself for being bad every day. What I thought I would never tolerate I did and what I thought I would never survive I have, in spades. Not only have I gotten through to the other side there has been some justice along the way. I have received my due when I could have become fearful of the big bad white bully and ran without regard for what was due to me. In fact I almost did. I almost apologized for being me and for expecting something of a person who I did everything short of wiping their ass. Yet now I see that all that I did was for a reason and that I am Elliott Collazo the warrior that has survived the very things others would say they could not have and even I thought I would not. I feel like Elliott the warrior got his due and that now he can stand up, dust himself off and move into a new and improved life that will be more of what it was before he fought the war and won. Well, truth be told I have still some fighting left to do and some growth in my life. Who knew?
I feel deep gratitude for the people who have loved me and heard my stories over and over and over again. I feel like every one of these people had a hand in the outcome, one that is God inspired and God invoked. I know that all the prayer energy that was bestowed upon me created the outcome that I feel is what is geared at loving and caring for me. I feel honored inside that there were so many people cheering for me. I feel warmth in my heart that I have been saved and that I am still here in spite of the dark and painful times. In spite of the will of others to harm me, god had another plan for me. He "intended it all for good". He made it unfold as it was intended to be and I feel honored by God's plan for me. I thank every person and every entity of love for this ending and this soon to be completion of my old life into my new one.
I am a warrior. I am a warrior because I did not crumble. I feel, I cried, I howled like a wolf. I knelt down, I prayed, I begged, I was at the very end of my rope but I woke up the next day with some hope. I worried, I was in fear of the bully, I stopped in my path and froze like a little boy but somehow I kept walking. Somehow I had the strength to ask God to forgive me and to continue to love me. I fought so hard that my body hurt and I wished myself dead over and again. I told me story in a hundred ways. I threw a fit inside and out. I yelled for god to hold me when there was no one there. I stood back up and kept going. I even helped others along the way. I was even called to serve and did the best I could to do that.
I forgive but I will never forget this journey. I forgive every person who has wanted me to go down but I will never forget how I permitted it to happen and what I did not do to defend my honor as a child of god. I forgive every person who I perceive hate me and want the worse for me but I will never forget, not ever forget. It is what has taught me what I need to do and not do. It has taught me to respect myself while at the same time living in my truth. Living in my soul and in my spirit. Yes, we must forgive but we are not required to forget, for forgetting will end life as we know it and deserve to live it.
I feel deep gratitude for the people who have loved me and heard my stories over and over and over again. I feel like every one of these people had a hand in the outcome, one that is God inspired and God invoked. I know that all the prayer energy that was bestowed upon me created the outcome that I feel is what is geared at loving and caring for me. I feel honored inside that there were so many people cheering for me. I feel warmth in my heart that I have been saved and that I am still here in spite of the dark and painful times. In spite of the will of others to harm me, god had another plan for me. He "intended it all for good". He made it unfold as it was intended to be and I feel honored by God's plan for me. I thank every person and every entity of love for this ending and this soon to be completion of my old life into my new one.
I am a warrior. I am a warrior because I did not crumble. I feel, I cried, I howled like a wolf. I knelt down, I prayed, I begged, I was at the very end of my rope but I woke up the next day with some hope. I worried, I was in fear of the bully, I stopped in my path and froze like a little boy but somehow I kept walking. Somehow I had the strength to ask God to forgive me and to continue to love me. I fought so hard that my body hurt and I wished myself dead over and again. I told me story in a hundred ways. I threw a fit inside and out. I yelled for god to hold me when there was no one there. I stood back up and kept going. I even helped others along the way. I was even called to serve and did the best I could to do that.
I forgive but I will never forget this journey. I forgive every person who has wanted me to go down but I will never forget how I permitted it to happen and what I did not do to defend my honor as a child of god. I forgive every person who I perceive hate me and want the worse for me but I will never forget, not ever forget. It is what has taught me what I need to do and not do. It has taught me to respect myself while at the same time living in my truth. Living in my soul and in my spirit. Yes, we must forgive but we are not required to forget, for forgetting will end life as we know it and deserve to live it.
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