Lunch Date and My Ego
Today I met a friend for lunch who I have known now for about thirty years. What occured to me after I attended my reading group in "The Course in Miracles" is that I feel so much love and compassion for him and that in addition to liking him I love him very much. As we sat through lunch there were a few blunders on the part of the waiter. First he forgot his soup, then he broght the wrong soup, not the one he ordered and lastly he talked on two drinks we'd not had. The waiter seemed distant and unfocused and my guess was that maybe he was having a tough day. He aplogized once we got the manager to take the drinks off the menu. As it turned out he also gave us a discount on the meal. As sometimes happens "God meant it all for good". One of the things that stood out for both of us was this lack of concsiouness on the part of others and the lack of life skills. Both of us agreed that there is a problem in America around our egos and out thinking we are the best at everything and the all knowing culture. We both laughed about it and sighted how other countries laugh at us and our big egos and importance of status. Overall it was a wonderful time, good food and great conversation. On my part I thought myself quite profound and yet when I look back I could see that my ego was creeping up in te form of criticizing others. Later I was given a dose of reality around the reference of ego. All went well an we kissed and said goodbye until our next monthly lunch date as we have now turned it into a tradition.
Then as goddess would deem it I go to attend my scheduled reading group on "The Course in Miracles" and what would come to the forefront than the EGO and the damage that the ego creates for us, in us and the conflict it introduces to our loving and compassion. The ego suddenly seemed to me to be a source of evil and a negative useless source of bad feelings like remorse, hate, jealousy and the whole dam lot of it. It talked about how ego is really fear and how the ego instills it yet does so in a covert way, a rather undercover manner. I wish I had the book in front of me to quote it because it was so powerfully put. What I went away with is that the ego tries to run a muck inside of us and the reason we fall prey to it is because we are not attuned to our highest vibration and highest self. Of course as usual that would be love, compassion and service to others. That is our higher self and the ego creeps in to steal that connection to others making us judgmental and jealous. Disconnecting us from what is our good. Ego simply has not place in our lives and I have to say I agree. The ego is like a little guy inside of us controlling us and making us believe we need to be in fear when the fear or the source of it does not even exist most of the time. I am not talking about a fire or something that can really harm us but rather the illusion of harm and the illusion of being scared. When we are scared we become dysfunctional and that is exactly what ego wants. In one part of the reading it shares that ego does not want you to feel afraid or know to be afraid of it so that it can sneak up on you like a devil like entity.
What we must do is to be in awareness that we are in our head and in our ego an just say NO to it and YES to life and loving and connecting with others. When we let go of the ego mind we make room for good and we make room for great experiences in our life. Our hearts open up and we communicate better and experience more joy. That is a really simple message but most of us are not living it. In fact most of us are not getting it. My EGO wants everyone to be enlightened and kind. My EGO runs a muck too because I let it by becoming judgmental about others who are in my eyes not doing the right thing. As it turns out I can only do the best I can do and I need to stop worrying about what others are doing or feeling or acting on or not acting on. I invest my ego just like everyone else and the difference today is that I am in some awareness and will do my best not to invest so much time in that egotistic position. It is not in my highest good or my best vibration, PERIOD.
Tomorrow I am to volunteer at a homeless shelter. I will be assigned one man to help me to organize the closet which has the donations of clothing for the homeless day shelter. I will try to find a way to serve him because as the director has shared he is very angry. I was also told that the indirect route would be better received because most people who are homeless don't want to be psycho analyzed. I cannot say I blame them do you? Tomorrow I will get a chance to practice letting go of my ego mind and staying in my connected mind knowing that these homeless people are me and I am them. We are not much different if at all and as they say "we are all a couple of paychecks away from being homeless". I agree however I will go into this place knowing that I must be humble and not egotistic or acting as though I know it all, because of one I don't. It will be my test of my own EGO center and a test of my ability to let go and allow God to work through me. Wish me luck.
Elliott Collazo Gonzalez
Then as goddess would deem it I go to attend my scheduled reading group on "The Course in Miracles" and what would come to the forefront than the EGO and the damage that the ego creates for us, in us and the conflict it introduces to our loving and compassion. The ego suddenly seemed to me to be a source of evil and a negative useless source of bad feelings like remorse, hate, jealousy and the whole dam lot of it. It talked about how ego is really fear and how the ego instills it yet does so in a covert way, a rather undercover manner. I wish I had the book in front of me to quote it because it was so powerfully put. What I went away with is that the ego tries to run a muck inside of us and the reason we fall prey to it is because we are not attuned to our highest vibration and highest self. Of course as usual that would be love, compassion and service to others. That is our higher self and the ego creeps in to steal that connection to others making us judgmental and jealous. Disconnecting us from what is our good. Ego simply has not place in our lives and I have to say I agree. The ego is like a little guy inside of us controlling us and making us believe we need to be in fear when the fear or the source of it does not even exist most of the time. I am not talking about a fire or something that can really harm us but rather the illusion of harm and the illusion of being scared. When we are scared we become dysfunctional and that is exactly what ego wants. In one part of the reading it shares that ego does not want you to feel afraid or know to be afraid of it so that it can sneak up on you like a devil like entity.
What we must do is to be in awareness that we are in our head and in our ego an just say NO to it and YES to life and loving and connecting with others. When we let go of the ego mind we make room for good and we make room for great experiences in our life. Our hearts open up and we communicate better and experience more joy. That is a really simple message but most of us are not living it. In fact most of us are not getting it. My EGO wants everyone to be enlightened and kind. My EGO runs a muck too because I let it by becoming judgmental about others who are in my eyes not doing the right thing. As it turns out I can only do the best I can do and I need to stop worrying about what others are doing or feeling or acting on or not acting on. I invest my ego just like everyone else and the difference today is that I am in some awareness and will do my best not to invest so much time in that egotistic position. It is not in my highest good or my best vibration, PERIOD.
Tomorrow I am to volunteer at a homeless shelter. I will be assigned one man to help me to organize the closet which has the donations of clothing for the homeless day shelter. I will try to find a way to serve him because as the director has shared he is very angry. I was also told that the indirect route would be better received because most people who are homeless don't want to be psycho analyzed. I cannot say I blame them do you? Tomorrow I will get a chance to practice letting go of my ego mind and staying in my connected mind knowing that these homeless people are me and I am them. We are not much different if at all and as they say "we are all a couple of paychecks away from being homeless". I agree however I will go into this place knowing that I must be humble and not egotistic or acting as though I know it all, because of one I don't. It will be my test of my own EGO center and a test of my ability to let go and allow God to work through me. Wish me luck.
Elliott Collazo Gonzalez
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