How to Properly Fall in Love
It seems like those of us who have been in love and lost are the ones who can help others fall in love in a different manner and in a way that is proper and long lasting. When we talk about how to fall in love the right way we may also need to talk about how not to fall into a relationship, which often times is exactly what happens to us. We fall into relationships almost by mistake or we get involved with the first person who pays attention to us.
Don't go too fast:
One of the big mistakes people make is getting involved much to quickly. They meet and days, weeks or even just a few months later they are playing house and living together. One or the other person comes over and never leaves. It is best to take your time when getting into a relationship and taking at least a year to get to know each other before moving in together and surely before getting married. Take it slowly and really get to know each other. Ask a lot of questions. Know who your getting involved with.
Take notes and tally traits up
Take notes on what it is that you have in common with this person. Tally the things that you have in common with this person and the things you don't have in common. Look closely at this person and what they enjoy doing, how they spend their time and what interests they have. How much do you really have in common? Take close notes on what it is that meets your needs and standards for a future partner. Determine how many things you have in common and how many you don't have in common. Tally it up and decide once you know that you have enough in common.
Note the romance level:
I believe that love has to come with romance and romantic acts of love. If the person you are dating and getting to know is not romantic it is probably not a good sign. Romance and love go together. If someone is not romantic they are likely not a person who will be loving and kind, involved and present. The best sign of how consciously loving someone is has a lot to do with how romantic their actions are. There is not better way to find out what to expect in the future than taking notes on how romantic this person you are seeing is. What are the things he or she does that are thoughtful and loving? Romance is not just about getting some flowers or giving you a card. Romance is how a person behaves in love.
Get them around your people:
Get the person you are seeing around the people you love: friends and family. Give them permission to take notes and let you know what they think and what sort of energy they get from this person. Do they feel like he or she is a good match for you? Be open to what they have to say and take it into account. The people who love you know you and will be good at measuring a person up and letting you know if they have or sense any concerns. Get the person you are getting to know around the people who you know. Note how he or she responds to your friends and family.
Notice the power and control level:
Many times we will notice that a person seems to want to control things and we see this early on. Notice the level of control around what they want to do and whether they compromise and do things you like to do as much as they ask you to do things they want or like to do. Notice if this person wants you all to themselves. That is a bad sign and something to take into account right away. Controlling behavior and the willingness to do things you like to do will give you a good idea of what to expect in the future. If the person is already saying no to things you would like to do then this may to be the right person for you. Again, take a tally of the times he or she says no and yes to what you would like to do. How interested is this person in the things you are interested in. If they excuse themselves often and leave you to do your own thing much of the time it is a sign that you likely don't have enough in common and that they may have issues with control because they want you to do things they like to do most of the time.
Affection and Compassion:
Notice if the person you are seeing is compassionate and affectionate towards you and others. An early sign of problems is when a person is not very affectionate or show very much concern towards others and their plight, interests or needs. An early sign of a bad relationship is when people don't seem to be concerned about others and on the contrary are more concerned about their needs all the time or much of the time.
Elliott Collazo Gonzalez
Don't go too fast:
One of the big mistakes people make is getting involved much to quickly. They meet and days, weeks or even just a few months later they are playing house and living together. One or the other person comes over and never leaves. It is best to take your time when getting into a relationship and taking at least a year to get to know each other before moving in together and surely before getting married. Take it slowly and really get to know each other. Ask a lot of questions. Know who your getting involved with.
Take notes and tally traits up
Take notes on what it is that you have in common with this person. Tally the things that you have in common with this person and the things you don't have in common. Look closely at this person and what they enjoy doing, how they spend their time and what interests they have. How much do you really have in common? Take close notes on what it is that meets your needs and standards for a future partner. Determine how many things you have in common and how many you don't have in common. Tally it up and decide once you know that you have enough in common.
Note the romance level:
I believe that love has to come with romance and romantic acts of love. If the person you are dating and getting to know is not romantic it is probably not a good sign. Romance and love go together. If someone is not romantic they are likely not a person who will be loving and kind, involved and present. The best sign of how consciously loving someone is has a lot to do with how romantic their actions are. There is not better way to find out what to expect in the future than taking notes on how romantic this person you are seeing is. What are the things he or she does that are thoughtful and loving? Romance is not just about getting some flowers or giving you a card. Romance is how a person behaves in love.
Get them around your people:
Get the person you are seeing around the people you love: friends and family. Give them permission to take notes and let you know what they think and what sort of energy they get from this person. Do they feel like he or she is a good match for you? Be open to what they have to say and take it into account. The people who love you know you and will be good at measuring a person up and letting you know if they have or sense any concerns. Get the person you are getting to know around the people who you know. Note how he or she responds to your friends and family.
Notice the power and control level:
Many times we will notice that a person seems to want to control things and we see this early on. Notice the level of control around what they want to do and whether they compromise and do things you like to do as much as they ask you to do things they want or like to do. Notice if this person wants you all to themselves. That is a bad sign and something to take into account right away. Controlling behavior and the willingness to do things you like to do will give you a good idea of what to expect in the future. If the person is already saying no to things you would like to do then this may to be the right person for you. Again, take a tally of the times he or she says no and yes to what you would like to do. How interested is this person in the things you are interested in. If they excuse themselves often and leave you to do your own thing much of the time it is a sign that you likely don't have enough in common and that they may have issues with control because they want you to do things they like to do most of the time.
Affection and Compassion:
Notice if the person you are seeing is compassionate and affectionate towards you and others. An early sign of problems is when a person is not very affectionate or show very much concern towards others and their plight, interests or needs. An early sign of a bad relationship is when people don't seem to be concerned about others and on the contrary are more concerned about their needs all the time or much of the time.
Elliott Collazo Gonzalez
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