Stop and Look From the Outside
We have all been angry and frustrated to the point where we take ourselves to what I can the "out of control" zone. When this happens a darkness comes over us and we feel like we cannot do anything to get some light into the situation. We feel hopeless and we feel like we are no longer in control of our feelings. That is when it may be time for us to: Stop and look inward. We need to stop and look from the outside at what is going on as if we were observing ourselves as another person. That person who is feeling the feeling of anxiety, anger or depression needs to take a break and be looked upon form the outside to determine what that person is really feeling, why they are feeling that feeling and how that person can be felt. We are in this way taking a break from the person who is feeling the feeling and looking at him or her as if he or she were another person. What would we suggest to that person (our inner person)? What would we say to him or her to make them feel better? Coming out of ourselves and asking those questions will help us to determine what we need to be doing and it disconnects us from the anxiety, the jealousy or the anger. It helps us to take a break from the situation and hopefully become more functional so that we can then address the situation.
The next time that you are angry stop and look from the outside as if you were another person looking at yourself. Stop and let go of the situation for a moment as if you are attributing the feelings to someone else other than yourself. Observe and even write down some things about that person's feeling who you are observing. Write some ways that this person could feel better and get through this difficult period. Once you have done this give this person what he or she needs whether it is a walk or a silent time or meditation or a call to a friend. What you think will help this person you are observing is what you may very well need to do. By disconnecting or unplugging for a little while you could figure things out. By making believe that the person who has the issue is someone else you don't give the feelings so much power. Look at yourself from the outside and do something compassionate for inner self. That person in a way is not you but rather a person being controlled by negative feelings like fear or hate. Be kind to that persona and understand that he or she needs kindness and understanding. Tell that person that is you how much you love him or her and how proud you are of their accomplishments. Do for yourself what you would do for someone else.
There are ways to sooth ourselves and we are able to do that when and if we need to do it. We are not helpless if we step aside and look from the outside with love and compassion and doing things that are nurturing and kind. Stepping aside when we are angry or frustrated as if we were someone else looking in and observing is a strategy that can be applied when we feel helpless. Staying inside is not always the best thing to do. Looking from the outside is sometimes a better way to resolve the situation.
Try to step aside the next time you are feeling dysfunctional. Step aside and observe. Take the time to figure it out as if you were resolving someone else's issue and not your own. Depersonalize it. Take the personal aspect out of it. Then do the things that you know that inner person needs to be doing to heal in the moment whatever that involves. Good luck with yourself.
The next time that you are angry stop and look from the outside as if you were another person looking at yourself. Stop and let go of the situation for a moment as if you are attributing the feelings to someone else other than yourself. Observe and even write down some things about that person's feeling who you are observing. Write some ways that this person could feel better and get through this difficult period. Once you have done this give this person what he or she needs whether it is a walk or a silent time or meditation or a call to a friend. What you think will help this person you are observing is what you may very well need to do. By disconnecting or unplugging for a little while you could figure things out. By making believe that the person who has the issue is someone else you don't give the feelings so much power. Look at yourself from the outside and do something compassionate for inner self. That person in a way is not you but rather a person being controlled by negative feelings like fear or hate. Be kind to that persona and understand that he or she needs kindness and understanding. Tell that person that is you how much you love him or her and how proud you are of their accomplishments. Do for yourself what you would do for someone else.
There are ways to sooth ourselves and we are able to do that when and if we need to do it. We are not helpless if we step aside and look from the outside with love and compassion and doing things that are nurturing and kind. Stepping aside when we are angry or frustrated as if we were someone else looking in and observing is a strategy that can be applied when we feel helpless. Staying inside is not always the best thing to do. Looking from the outside is sometimes a better way to resolve the situation.
Try to step aside the next time you are feeling dysfunctional. Step aside and observe. Take the time to figure it out as if you were resolving someone else's issue and not your own. Depersonalize it. Take the personal aspect out of it. Then do the things that you know that inner person needs to be doing to heal in the moment whatever that involves. Good luck with yourself.
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