How To Deal With Difficult People
There are likely some people or at least one person you are dealing with that is or are difficult to address, be around or tolerate. Each of us have wondered how to deal with difficult situations and difficult individuals in hard situations. A difficult person can be a person we work with or a person we are related to or just a person we happen to encounter. In any situation dealing with a difficult person takes some creative skills. For some of us addressing difficult folks in our life is a daily situation, like a boss at work. Here are some creative and logical ways to address that difficult person in your life.
1. Don't address them, avoid them:
One simple way to deal with a difficult person is to avoid them. The way to avoid them is to have as little contact with them if any as possible. If you can avoid a difficult person that you know is not likely to change do so. It may be the best thing you can do and the best thing you can wish for.
2. Don't lower yourself to their poor standards:
Whatever you do don't stoop down to their way of being. Don't try to fight bad behavior with bad behavior. Don't yell back, curse back or become louder then them. It simply does not work and may even escalate the behavior and worsen the situation.
3. Send light and love to them:
It is similar to the old adage to "kill them with kindness". Send love and light to the person you are having difficulties with. Pray for that person and wish them light and wisdom in their life. A strong energy of light and love towards a person can sometimes cause a miraculous shift in their behavior. When you send light and love energy make certain it is with a sincere heart that you do so.
4. Remain considerate, kind and patient:
Don't lose your cool. Stay patient and considerate. Don't shame and blame the person but rather show them they are not getting to you at all. By remaining on your square you are demonstrating to them that you are not going to play their game or become one of them. This can end the behavior because he or she feels they cannot "get a rise out of you".
5. Walk away:
In situations that happen quickly a good strategy is to just walk away. Pretend you cannot hear the person and keep walking as if nothing has happened. Sometimes it is safer to walk away when you don't know what that person is capable of doing and nothing deescalates the situation.
6. Don't personalize it:
Whatever you do don't take what that person is doing or saying personally. It is not personal because it was not caused by you nor is it usually true. It is that person's opinion and as they say "the sole opinion or our sponsor". If we personalize it we could go crazy as there are always people who don't like us or we trigger them for no apparent reason.
7. Laugh it Off, don't take it serious:
Laugh, just laugh and then get going. Don't take it serious. Shake it off by laughing.
8. State your feeling to them:
Make an I statement about the person's behavior or treatement of you. "I feel diminished and disrespected when you speak to me in that tone". Then go on your merry way.
9. Report it:
Sometimes it is not your place to address the behavior or it is so serious as to have a need to report it to a higher authority. Report it and allow someone who is in charge or in charge of that person to address it. Don't try to do it on your own when you don't need to or the offense is very serious.
10. Detail why not:
State in short detail why you will not listen or tolerate it. "I am not going to tolerate your behavior because it is offensive and disrespectful and against common law. Again, make the statement and walk away. Say it in a calm and affirmative tone and then be done with it.
I hope that some of these strategies work for you with difficult people in your life whether they are people you love, a family member or a co-worker. The thing to remember is that when you respond you do so without yelling or becoming out of control. Difficult people want you to lose your cool and they want you to get in trouble for reacting to them and then claiming they did nothing to provoke you. Remember keep your head above you and your heart in the right space. Most difficult people can be addressed and most of them can be avoided after a time. Being difficult back will not resolve it. Being kind, respectful, loving, compassionate and patient will.
1. Don't address them, avoid them:
One simple way to deal with a difficult person is to avoid them. The way to avoid them is to have as little contact with them if any as possible. If you can avoid a difficult person that you know is not likely to change do so. It may be the best thing you can do and the best thing you can wish for.
2. Don't lower yourself to their poor standards:
Whatever you do don't stoop down to their way of being. Don't try to fight bad behavior with bad behavior. Don't yell back, curse back or become louder then them. It simply does not work and may even escalate the behavior and worsen the situation.
3. Send light and love to them:
It is similar to the old adage to "kill them with kindness". Send love and light to the person you are having difficulties with. Pray for that person and wish them light and wisdom in their life. A strong energy of light and love towards a person can sometimes cause a miraculous shift in their behavior. When you send light and love energy make certain it is with a sincere heart that you do so.
4. Remain considerate, kind and patient:
Don't lose your cool. Stay patient and considerate. Don't shame and blame the person but rather show them they are not getting to you at all. By remaining on your square you are demonstrating to them that you are not going to play their game or become one of them. This can end the behavior because he or she feels they cannot "get a rise out of you".
5. Walk away:
In situations that happen quickly a good strategy is to just walk away. Pretend you cannot hear the person and keep walking as if nothing has happened. Sometimes it is safer to walk away when you don't know what that person is capable of doing and nothing deescalates the situation.
6. Don't personalize it:
Whatever you do don't take what that person is doing or saying personally. It is not personal because it was not caused by you nor is it usually true. It is that person's opinion and as they say "the sole opinion or our sponsor". If we personalize it we could go crazy as there are always people who don't like us or we trigger them for no apparent reason.
7. Laugh it Off, don't take it serious:
Laugh, just laugh and then get going. Don't take it serious. Shake it off by laughing.
8. State your feeling to them:
Make an I statement about the person's behavior or treatement of you. "I feel diminished and disrespected when you speak to me in that tone". Then go on your merry way.
9. Report it:
Sometimes it is not your place to address the behavior or it is so serious as to have a need to report it to a higher authority. Report it and allow someone who is in charge or in charge of that person to address it. Don't try to do it on your own when you don't need to or the offense is very serious.
10. Detail why not:
State in short detail why you will not listen or tolerate it. "I am not going to tolerate your behavior because it is offensive and disrespectful and against common law. Again, make the statement and walk away. Say it in a calm and affirmative tone and then be done with it.
I hope that some of these strategies work for you with difficult people in your life whether they are people you love, a family member or a co-worker. The thing to remember is that when you respond you do so without yelling or becoming out of control. Difficult people want you to lose your cool and they want you to get in trouble for reacting to them and then claiming they did nothing to provoke you. Remember keep your head above you and your heart in the right space. Most difficult people can be addressed and most of them can be avoided after a time. Being difficult back will not resolve it. Being kind, respectful, loving, compassionate and patient will.
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