How To Rise Above The Past
The first thing that I tell people is: "you are not your old story". The reason that I share this with them is because we must all release our old story, the one that does not serve us, in order to rise above it. Our past experiences whether good or bad are not our current story. We must especially leave the past in the past when it was painful and did not honor us. For those of us who were abused or were a product of some kind of critical experience we must know that we are not that experience and that we are worthy of a more loving experience from this day forward.
People drink and do drugs using their past pain and shame as an excuse. People also feel that they cannot make it in this world of uncertainty if they don't drink to drown the fear and insecurity. Whatever the reason that we try to hide the sad or angry feelings inside of us, holding on to them will never heal us. In fact, holding on will hurt us. In order to rise above that past pain we must be willing to let go of it and know that we are not that past pain.
We all have the ability to release the past and live in the present. By living in this moment day to day, every day we will experience our full joy. We only have this day and knowing this is one of the best ways to live it fully. Getting up each day thinking about what was is going to effect how we live in the now. We hold ourselves hostage by the past situations that might have been hard to live through. Yet today we are not in that past experience but rather in the present one. Living in the now is the key to living above the past.
A woman I met once shared that when she was growing up her mentally ill older sister attempted to kill her several times. She also felt that she was responsible for this sibling who could not care for herself. Even today her sister lives in a facility with others who struggle with the same mental illness. Over the years this woman who I will call Carolyn married and divorced. Then she met a man who she eventually could feel superior over or above him. He was not college educated like her and in fact was not as articulate as she wanted a partner to be. The relationship has become abusive and it seems as though she is playing out the pain that is still lingering inside of her by hitting her partner and getting into extremely verbally abusive fights. She claims that it is his fault yet what is really happening is that she is reliving her past and exercising her power, the kind of power she did not have when her sister attempted to kill her. She has not risen above the past and in fact is reliving it often. Carolyn will stay in her past life as long as she needs to. She is one of many who I feel a deep compassion for.
We can rise above the past if we are willing and we understand that we are reliving it and that by doing so we are allowing the past to define us. We must understand that in order to live in our full joy we must rise above the past and that the only way to do this is to heal from it and live in the present moment. Like Carolyn there are many people who relive their past pain over and over again. In some cases it is so vivid that is rules their life. There are many ways to live in the present but the most important aspect of living in the present is to make a conscious decision to do that. There are many resources out there to help us to heal: therapy, coaching, self-work, mediation, prayer, support groups and more. Rising above the past means that we no longer allow the past to define us or dictate our everyday actions.
What part of your past are you living. Write your old story. Burn it and then write your new one. Focus on living a new story that is current and that forgives every old experience you had that does not serve you.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
People drink and do drugs using their past pain and shame as an excuse. People also feel that they cannot make it in this world of uncertainty if they don't drink to drown the fear and insecurity. Whatever the reason that we try to hide the sad or angry feelings inside of us, holding on to them will never heal us. In fact, holding on will hurt us. In order to rise above that past pain we must be willing to let go of it and know that we are not that past pain.
We all have the ability to release the past and live in the present. By living in this moment day to day, every day we will experience our full joy. We only have this day and knowing this is one of the best ways to live it fully. Getting up each day thinking about what was is going to effect how we live in the now. We hold ourselves hostage by the past situations that might have been hard to live through. Yet today we are not in that past experience but rather in the present one. Living in the now is the key to living above the past.
A woman I met once shared that when she was growing up her mentally ill older sister attempted to kill her several times. She also felt that she was responsible for this sibling who could not care for herself. Even today her sister lives in a facility with others who struggle with the same mental illness. Over the years this woman who I will call Carolyn married and divorced. Then she met a man who she eventually could feel superior over or above him. He was not college educated like her and in fact was not as articulate as she wanted a partner to be. The relationship has become abusive and it seems as though she is playing out the pain that is still lingering inside of her by hitting her partner and getting into extremely verbally abusive fights. She claims that it is his fault yet what is really happening is that she is reliving her past and exercising her power, the kind of power she did not have when her sister attempted to kill her. She has not risen above the past and in fact is reliving it often. Carolyn will stay in her past life as long as she needs to. She is one of many who I feel a deep compassion for.
We can rise above the past if we are willing and we understand that we are reliving it and that by doing so we are allowing the past to define us. We must understand that in order to live in our full joy we must rise above the past and that the only way to do this is to heal from it and live in the present moment. Like Carolyn there are many people who relive their past pain over and over again. In some cases it is so vivid that is rules their life. There are many ways to live in the present but the most important aspect of living in the present is to make a conscious decision to do that. There are many resources out there to help us to heal: therapy, coaching, self-work, mediation, prayer, support groups and more. Rising above the past means that we no longer allow the past to define us or dictate our everyday actions.
What part of your past are you living. Write your old story. Burn it and then write your new one. Focus on living a new story that is current and that forgives every old experience you had that does not serve you.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
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