Depression
I have been told by a couple of friends that I say too much on my blog. I love them and will continue to love them but I will still share as much as I think would serve others. I cannot expect people who read my blog to be honest with themselves if I am not honest with them. Depression is a serious subject and I will not pretend to be an expert, however I have fought depression all of my life as far back as I can recall. As a child of five or six years of age I would isolate myself in a room and at times break my own toys out of anger because I felt as though there was not a better outlet and that breaking a toy symbolized something to me that gave me some small relief in the moment. I would imagine that it would be like my friend who breaks dishes when she gets upset with her partner. Although that was not my mode of operating I can certainly understand why she did this. After I grew up I learned a number of other ways to address my anger or stuff it down, mostly stuffing it down so deep that I thought it would go away for good. Unfortunately, it continued to manifest until I decided that this was no longer going to be my life. That is when as a teen I decided to leave my abuser and began a journey that included therapy and a spiritual path that I do my best to practise on an ongoing basis. The truth about depression is that many if not the majority of us have experienced it at one time or another and that the shame attached to admitting it is not so common anymore. Many of us are seeking help and live lives that are joyful and complete. I for one feel as though I tried it all and can say that depression has taken a back seat because like any other addictive emotion I have intentionally worked on putting it where it belongs and not in my daily life.
Depression can be devastating for some and as we know there have been many suicides associated with depression, a feeling of despair. It is when we think that there is nothing and no one that can help us that we go deeper into the rabbit hole of depression. If we fail to get help or someone does not help us get the help we need, we will continue on the path of darkness and feelings of defeat. Not one of us deserves to feel like this and in some cases it takes medication to help us come out of the depths of depression. It is a serious illness and yet we still minimize it and talk about it as if only "crazy" people's suffer from it. The reality is that there are many people who suffer from depression and in fact the suicide rate of teens has gone on the rise from last year to this year and is likely to continue. We live in a society where stress is sold as normal and that staying in a horrible job is normal. Neither of these things are normal when they take us to the place of darkness where we want to die or feel like we are useless. Depression is nothing to play with and addressing it as soon as possible is very important, sometimes crucial.
Today one of my clients shared with me that her granddaughter is cutting. This girl is about 11 or 12 years old and she attributed her actions to the fact that she is being bullied in school. After some questioning I was told the client's grandchild lives with parents who are not happy together and that the mother is seeking approval from other men outside the marriage. This woman is my client's daughter and she seems to be having some eating disorders or signs of bulimia. In addition, she wants to get out of the marriage and cannot seem to find the courage to leave based on the common reasons like finances and insurance. At first she shared the fact that her grandchild was being bullied but once she told me about the home situation I felt like there was a lot more to her cutting than the school bullies. In fact what I suspect is that the family dynamics is really the main reason for the child to resort to cutting. This child is depressed and for most of us facing this fact about our own child is going to be challenging. I feel like the first thing that needs to happen is that this child's feelings be validated and checked into constantly. I also feel like her mom getting out of the relationship with her dad is crucial. This child is performing and act of depression and the intensity of this living situation has become too much for her to bear. She may think she is cutting because of the bullies but the bullying is a manifestation of her low self esteem because of her home situation with a father who does not play with her and a mother who does not like her dad.
As I stated I am a life coach and I don't ever want to pretend that I am an expert although I am really good in areas involving life situations. My experience comes from my own circumstances and from my own journey and sometimes dark pain. Depression can be handled with medication for some people but I feel strongly that it needs to be coupled with counseling or therapy. I also feel strongly about giving children depression medications before trying therapy or coaching with people who are experienced dealing with youth. Whether you are young, middle aged or in your seasoned senior stage depression is nothing to dismiss. In fact it should be addressed and there are many ways that it can be addressed. Finding the right fit for you is important but here are some ways that I think are helpful and some that have been suggested:
Read positive text daily (books, articles and the like)
Exercise every other day at least
Meditate or take a time each day to reflect and be silent
Avoid addictions that you know are bad for you. This includes soft addictions like: too much TV, staying busy all the time, compulsively cleaning and trying to be perfect.
Take the time to play and do things that are fun and bring you joy.
If prescribed and you feel you need them, take your medication for depression
Get counseling on a weekly basis
Join a support group that relates to what you are struggling with .
Pray and ask for guidance from the source you believe in. Become silent afterwards.
Confide in people you love and trust them to support you and care for you when you need it.
Be honest with yourself and everyone else
Set boundaries: let others know what is acceptable behaviors and not acceptable.
Focus on two main goals and involve your time in those goals rather than wasting it on small tasks that are not gong to make as big an impact.
Listen to your inner voice: There is such a thing as intuition and if you use it wisely it will service you. Listen to that inner voice that knows what you need to do and what is best for you. Many times that voice will lead you on the right path.
Remember this: Depression is not unusual or weird. In fact it is common place. Don't focus on being sick but rather focus on being well. When the negative voices start to talk to you ask them to leave. Depression is an illness and it is to be taken seriously. Get the support you need from a professional and know that you are worthy of being happy most of the time.
Depression can be devastating for some and as we know there have been many suicides associated with depression, a feeling of despair. It is when we think that there is nothing and no one that can help us that we go deeper into the rabbit hole of depression. If we fail to get help or someone does not help us get the help we need, we will continue on the path of darkness and feelings of defeat. Not one of us deserves to feel like this and in some cases it takes medication to help us come out of the depths of depression. It is a serious illness and yet we still minimize it and talk about it as if only "crazy" people's suffer from it. The reality is that there are many people who suffer from depression and in fact the suicide rate of teens has gone on the rise from last year to this year and is likely to continue. We live in a society where stress is sold as normal and that staying in a horrible job is normal. Neither of these things are normal when they take us to the place of darkness where we want to die or feel like we are useless. Depression is nothing to play with and addressing it as soon as possible is very important, sometimes crucial.
Today one of my clients shared with me that her granddaughter is cutting. This girl is about 11 or 12 years old and she attributed her actions to the fact that she is being bullied in school. After some questioning I was told the client's grandchild lives with parents who are not happy together and that the mother is seeking approval from other men outside the marriage. This woman is my client's daughter and she seems to be having some eating disorders or signs of bulimia. In addition, she wants to get out of the marriage and cannot seem to find the courage to leave based on the common reasons like finances and insurance. At first she shared the fact that her grandchild was being bullied but once she told me about the home situation I felt like there was a lot more to her cutting than the school bullies. In fact what I suspect is that the family dynamics is really the main reason for the child to resort to cutting. This child is depressed and for most of us facing this fact about our own child is going to be challenging. I feel like the first thing that needs to happen is that this child's feelings be validated and checked into constantly. I also feel like her mom getting out of the relationship with her dad is crucial. This child is performing and act of depression and the intensity of this living situation has become too much for her to bear. She may think she is cutting because of the bullies but the bullying is a manifestation of her low self esteem because of her home situation with a father who does not play with her and a mother who does not like her dad.
As I stated I am a life coach and I don't ever want to pretend that I am an expert although I am really good in areas involving life situations. My experience comes from my own circumstances and from my own journey and sometimes dark pain. Depression can be handled with medication for some people but I feel strongly that it needs to be coupled with counseling or therapy. I also feel strongly about giving children depression medications before trying therapy or coaching with people who are experienced dealing with youth. Whether you are young, middle aged or in your seasoned senior stage depression is nothing to dismiss. In fact it should be addressed and there are many ways that it can be addressed. Finding the right fit for you is important but here are some ways that I think are helpful and some that have been suggested:
Read positive text daily (books, articles and the like)
Exercise every other day at least
Meditate or take a time each day to reflect and be silent
Avoid addictions that you know are bad for you. This includes soft addictions like: too much TV, staying busy all the time, compulsively cleaning and trying to be perfect.
Take the time to play and do things that are fun and bring you joy.
If prescribed and you feel you need them, take your medication for depression
Get counseling on a weekly basis
Join a support group that relates to what you are struggling with .
Pray and ask for guidance from the source you believe in. Become silent afterwards.
Confide in people you love and trust them to support you and care for you when you need it.
Be honest with yourself and everyone else
Set boundaries: let others know what is acceptable behaviors and not acceptable.
Focus on two main goals and involve your time in those goals rather than wasting it on small tasks that are not gong to make as big an impact.
Listen to your inner voice: There is such a thing as intuition and if you use it wisely it will service you. Listen to that inner voice that knows what you need to do and what is best for you. Many times that voice will lead you on the right path.
Remember this: Depression is not unusual or weird. In fact it is common place. Don't focus on being sick but rather focus on being well. When the negative voices start to talk to you ask them to leave. Depression is an illness and it is to be taken seriously. Get the support you need from a professional and know that you are worthy of being happy most of the time.
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