Serve Yourself Bitch!
I have literally heard parents tell their children, "serve yourself!" I am often times stunned when a parent asks a child to come to him with wording like: "get the fuck over here!". Although for some it is shocking I have unfortunately heard it so many times that I too have become null and void to it. The only time I would say anything to a parent who was verbally abusive was when I was a school administrator and even then I would sometimes just give them that teacher look I learned so well and they would respond with: "my bad, Mr. Collazo, sorry" or something that resembled that. I personally feel as though parents are here to serve their children and not to abuse or bully them. I believe with all my heart that we are the first teachers and that by serving our children with love and zest we show them that it is OK to serve and that we are here to serve one another.
Brian had a boyfriend who he bought a pair of shoes for because frankly (in his words), his shoes were a hot mess. Upon receiving the shoes the person he gifted said: "I don't like these, they look like shoes my grandfather would wear." In fact the shoes were Italian stitched loafers that were Gucci. Although Brian should have known this to be a very "red flag" he took the shoes back and exchange do them for a black pair for himself. Over time his boyfriend wore his black Gucci loafers and in fact ruined them in a bad rain storm in NYC. The following year Carl (not his real name) got Brian a gift. He bought him tennis lessons at the East Bank Club in Chicago. Very expensive lessons at that. Brian took the gift yet he could not help to think about how self-serving it was since Carl was an avid tennis player. Instead of refusing the gift Carl took the lessons but never got good at playing tennis. Carl learned early in life not to look a gift horse in the mouth and to be gracious unlike Brian who was raised in a very privileged home with more money and all the material things than he needed and wanted. The difference is that Brian learned to value everything he received and did to with grace. He learned to serve others in deed and in his acceptance of any gift however small.
After dating a woman who will remain nameless I discovered that she had never ever in her entire life volunteered for anything. I also found out that her parents who were pretty well off never donated money to any cause other than into the cup passed around in church. At parties I noted that she would interrogate others and ask twenty questions in five minutes. It was mind blowing how people reacted to her and for good reason. One couple she "interviewed" were floored when she said to the younger woman: "Do people ever think of you as a gold digger?". It seems she assumed that the pretty young girl was with this rich man. After a short interrogation the woman finally got up, looked at me and said: "I like you but your girlfriend can fuck herself". Afterwards she put on her fur coat over her impeccable dress and walked out. The girl that I was with had not clue and demonstrated it to me by blaming her and saying: "she seemed to be on drugs or drunk. She was a stupid mess". I was at that moment done with her and never saw her again. It was then that I could understand why she never served any other person other than herself. It was obvious to me that this was not a woman I wanted to spend any more time with. As egotistic as she acted it was one of many situations where it was verified to me that she liked to be served but not serve or respect others around her. Life was all about serving herself. In fact she was just not a nice person.
In life we will experience times when we are being asked to serve. There will be other times when as a result of our willingness to serve we are in turn gifted with love and compassion and maybe even some beautiful flowers. But the fact is that we must be willing to serve in order to be served. The fact is that if we are unwilling to serve there is something missing in the evolution of our life. Life is about rotations, transformation and knowing that there is a connection between us and every person on this planet. The woman I dated is an example of someone who is so disconnected from human kind that nothing matters and in fact she would rather blame others than to see her own shortcomings and do something differently from what she was taught. Sadness overcomes me when I see how we treat each other never mind how many times we ignore the call to serve. The voice of God does not have to come to our living room for us to serve. In fact, life lessons will show you that serving is a beautiful and normal product of breathing and just being on this earth.
Serve yourself, yes. There is nothing wrong with that. I am only saying that serving yourself all the time every day of every moment is not the answer to the joy that we seem to be looking for all the time whether we are of the privileged class or not. In fact it seems that the more privileged we raise our children the more disconnected they are, having nothing to do with money. There are people with very tiny homes that are impeccable while there are ones who live in million dollar homes that look like a tornado hit it. It is when we are humble and understand the value of what we can do for others that we are truly serving ourselves, God and human kind.
Amen!
Brian had a boyfriend who he bought a pair of shoes for because frankly (in his words), his shoes were a hot mess. Upon receiving the shoes the person he gifted said: "I don't like these, they look like shoes my grandfather would wear." In fact the shoes were Italian stitched loafers that were Gucci. Although Brian should have known this to be a very "red flag" he took the shoes back and exchange do them for a black pair for himself. Over time his boyfriend wore his black Gucci loafers and in fact ruined them in a bad rain storm in NYC. The following year Carl (not his real name) got Brian a gift. He bought him tennis lessons at the East Bank Club in Chicago. Very expensive lessons at that. Brian took the gift yet he could not help to think about how self-serving it was since Carl was an avid tennis player. Instead of refusing the gift Carl took the lessons but never got good at playing tennis. Carl learned early in life not to look a gift horse in the mouth and to be gracious unlike Brian who was raised in a very privileged home with more money and all the material things than he needed and wanted. The difference is that Brian learned to value everything he received and did to with grace. He learned to serve others in deed and in his acceptance of any gift however small.
After dating a woman who will remain nameless I discovered that she had never ever in her entire life volunteered for anything. I also found out that her parents who were pretty well off never donated money to any cause other than into the cup passed around in church. At parties I noted that she would interrogate others and ask twenty questions in five minutes. It was mind blowing how people reacted to her and for good reason. One couple she "interviewed" were floored when she said to the younger woman: "Do people ever think of you as a gold digger?". It seems she assumed that the pretty young girl was with this rich man. After a short interrogation the woman finally got up, looked at me and said: "I like you but your girlfriend can fuck herself". Afterwards she put on her fur coat over her impeccable dress and walked out. The girl that I was with had not clue and demonstrated it to me by blaming her and saying: "she seemed to be on drugs or drunk. She was a stupid mess". I was at that moment done with her and never saw her again. It was then that I could understand why she never served any other person other than herself. It was obvious to me that this was not a woman I wanted to spend any more time with. As egotistic as she acted it was one of many situations where it was verified to me that she liked to be served but not serve or respect others around her. Life was all about serving herself. In fact she was just not a nice person.
In life we will experience times when we are being asked to serve. There will be other times when as a result of our willingness to serve we are in turn gifted with love and compassion and maybe even some beautiful flowers. But the fact is that we must be willing to serve in order to be served. The fact is that if we are unwilling to serve there is something missing in the evolution of our life. Life is about rotations, transformation and knowing that there is a connection between us and every person on this planet. The woman I dated is an example of someone who is so disconnected from human kind that nothing matters and in fact she would rather blame others than to see her own shortcomings and do something differently from what she was taught. Sadness overcomes me when I see how we treat each other never mind how many times we ignore the call to serve. The voice of God does not have to come to our living room for us to serve. In fact, life lessons will show you that serving is a beautiful and normal product of breathing and just being on this earth.
Serve yourself, yes. There is nothing wrong with that. I am only saying that serving yourself all the time every day of every moment is not the answer to the joy that we seem to be looking for all the time whether we are of the privileged class or not. In fact it seems that the more privileged we raise our children the more disconnected they are, having nothing to do with money. There are people with very tiny homes that are impeccable while there are ones who live in million dollar homes that look like a tornado hit it. It is when we are humble and understand the value of what we can do for others that we are truly serving ourselves, God and human kind.
Amen!
Comments
Post a Comment