Zen For Men: First Date
As I have shared on many occasions I talk to women consistently and listen to what they say. This blog is about that first date, what to wear, what to do and what not to do. Are you ready?:
Going on a first date can be a little unnerving for some of us. We ask ourselves things like: What do I wear? Do I kiss her when the date is completed? Do I pick her up and take her back to her home? What kinds of questions are good ones to ask? Here are some truly helpful tips:
What to wear?
It is always a good idea to wear a sport's jacket, jeans or tan pants and a white shirt is usually a big hit and looks crisp and a touch more like you took some care in dressing for the date. A navy blazer, with jeans that fit well, a white shirt and some slip on loafers are good for dinner, a movie or dancing. If you want to be sexy and the weather permits no socks looks casual, but if you are going to a fancier venue wear navy socks or a pattern in navy. A black or tan blazer are good to go and look great with black jeans. If you have the body, go ahead and show it off a little by wearing a more fitted stretch jean. The spandex makes them more comfy. Make sure the shirt is ironed or dry dry cleaned for you.
What to wear if very formal:
Always wear a suit either in black, tan (summer) or navy blue. Wear a white shirt and match the tie with the black, tan or navy. A rep striped tie is always good and come in many combinations of color to match the suit. You can wear a French cuff shirt and make a big impression by wearing cuff links. Attendance at a wedding or funeral is many times a suit event. If in doubt ask her.
Flower or no flower:
I would take a single rose in yellow for friendship. Red signifies love so don't go there yet. If you know the type of flower she likes then you could get her that particular one. One single flower is better than none and says that you are a gentleman and possibly romantic. Women like men who are thoughtful and romantic.
Open the door or not:
Always open the car door and any other doors for her. As you navigate through the date make sure you pull the chair out for her if you go to dinner and open the doors. If she prefers you not do this she will tell you and most women will actually appreciate it. Be that gentle man the entire time.
Kiss or no kiss:
If you want to play it safe give her a hug. If you want to play it semi-safe kiss her on the cheek as you hug her. You can ask her if it is OK to hug her. Pausing for a few seconds could land you a kiss on her part. Don't go for a kiss on the lips unless she initiates it. Most ladies do not want a kiss on the lips from a man they hardly know. Keep that respectful boundary.
Sex or no sex:
Definitely not on a first date. Enough said.
Pick her up at home?:
If she consents to it then pick her up. The proper thing is to ask her and understand that if she says no then she is trying to protect her privacy for now. She may like to meet you there and that should be respected. Always ask if you can take her home out of courtesy and if she says no then go for the hug. Let her know if you had a good time.
How much should I say or share?
Not much. Keep it light and simple. Never talk about an X girlfriend and talk less and listen more than you speak. Ask her questions.
What do I ask and not ask?:
Don't ask her age, her weight, her sizes or whether her hair color is real or from a bottle. Women don't like these questions and usually never do. Play it safe and don't ask any of what I call the "taboos". Do ask things like: What do you like to do? What do you think of the food? What is your favorite movie? Keep it light and airy, not too deep over personal. I loved this guy who told me he asked women if they want to have children on the first date. Then he wondered why these same women did not go on a second date with him and now is 46 and still single. Not only did he aske the wrong question he also acted arrogant about each date he went on and was very dismissive of women. I would not wish him on my worse enemy and in fact one of my daughters said this about him.
So there you have it guys. Do what you think is best but know that every thing you do and say has consequences and if you want to be with a lovely lady there is a price to be paid and manners to mind.
Coach Elliott
Going on a first date can be a little unnerving for some of us. We ask ourselves things like: What do I wear? Do I kiss her when the date is completed? Do I pick her up and take her back to her home? What kinds of questions are good ones to ask? Here are some truly helpful tips:
What to wear?
It is always a good idea to wear a sport's jacket, jeans or tan pants and a white shirt is usually a big hit and looks crisp and a touch more like you took some care in dressing for the date. A navy blazer, with jeans that fit well, a white shirt and some slip on loafers are good for dinner, a movie or dancing. If you want to be sexy and the weather permits no socks looks casual, but if you are going to a fancier venue wear navy socks or a pattern in navy. A black or tan blazer are good to go and look great with black jeans. If you have the body, go ahead and show it off a little by wearing a more fitted stretch jean. The spandex makes them more comfy. Make sure the shirt is ironed or dry dry cleaned for you.
What to wear if very formal:
Always wear a suit either in black, tan (summer) or navy blue. Wear a white shirt and match the tie with the black, tan or navy. A rep striped tie is always good and come in many combinations of color to match the suit. You can wear a French cuff shirt and make a big impression by wearing cuff links. Attendance at a wedding or funeral is many times a suit event. If in doubt ask her.
Flower or no flower:
I would take a single rose in yellow for friendship. Red signifies love so don't go there yet. If you know the type of flower she likes then you could get her that particular one. One single flower is better than none and says that you are a gentleman and possibly romantic. Women like men who are thoughtful and romantic.
Open the door or not:
Always open the car door and any other doors for her. As you navigate through the date make sure you pull the chair out for her if you go to dinner and open the doors. If she prefers you not do this she will tell you and most women will actually appreciate it. Be that gentle man the entire time.
Kiss or no kiss:
If you want to play it safe give her a hug. If you want to play it semi-safe kiss her on the cheek as you hug her. You can ask her if it is OK to hug her. Pausing for a few seconds could land you a kiss on her part. Don't go for a kiss on the lips unless she initiates it. Most ladies do not want a kiss on the lips from a man they hardly know. Keep that respectful boundary.
Sex or no sex:
Definitely not on a first date. Enough said.
Pick her up at home?:
If she consents to it then pick her up. The proper thing is to ask her and understand that if she says no then she is trying to protect her privacy for now. She may like to meet you there and that should be respected. Always ask if you can take her home out of courtesy and if she says no then go for the hug. Let her know if you had a good time.
How much should I say or share?
Not much. Keep it light and simple. Never talk about an X girlfriend and talk less and listen more than you speak. Ask her questions.
What do I ask and not ask?:
Don't ask her age, her weight, her sizes or whether her hair color is real or from a bottle. Women don't like these questions and usually never do. Play it safe and don't ask any of what I call the "taboos". Do ask things like: What do you like to do? What do you think of the food? What is your favorite movie? Keep it light and airy, not too deep over personal. I loved this guy who told me he asked women if they want to have children on the first date. Then he wondered why these same women did not go on a second date with him and now is 46 and still single. Not only did he aske the wrong question he also acted arrogant about each date he went on and was very dismissive of women. I would not wish him on my worse enemy and in fact one of my daughters said this about him.
So there you have it guys. Do what you think is best but know that every thing you do and say has consequences and if you want to be with a lovely lady there is a price to be paid and manners to mind.
Coach Elliott
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