Zen for Men: Be a Functional Man
Today I realized how most of the people I talk to and befriend are women. I also figured out that I know a lot about what women prefer and want because they share it with me openly. That is why I decided to start a blog called: "Zen for Men". This series of blogs will be directed at helping men out and in turn helping women who have men in their lives out. I will say that what women tell me is usually the truth about their man or men in general and that my listening can be a learning experience. Open your mind and your heart to what women say and understand that there is something to be said when one hears: "happy wife, happy life". It is that simple guys.
Chapter One: Be a Functional Man
Be a functional man and learn some basic skills like cleaning a home, ironing, washing clothes and cooking. It may be that you were not taught these functional skills but it is not too late to learn them. For whatever reasons you did not learn to cook, there are ways to learn to be a great cook and in turn be able to cook for yourself, your children and maybe even for your wife when she works overtime or just to be helpful. Women find functions men sexy and if you ask them they will say that becoming intimate with a man who helps around the house is more of a pleasure because they are functional and do things in the home. In fact many women will say that seeing a man in an apron or mopping a floor turns them on. Understandably if this is not something you normally do it is sexier when you do it.
There are some very good reasons why you want to be a "functional man" versus one that is dysfunctional and the first one is that your spouse or girlfriend will likely give you your way more often if you do things in the home and do them well. It is a known fact that men who are functional are preferred over men who are not yet admittedly women will say that they stick with a man who is not functional for financial reasons. Not that I would advocate for it but men need to know that even if she sticks around for the money she is still not going to be as pleasant and forthcoming when all you do is go to work every day while she has a 24 hour job at home with the kids.
So how do you become a functional man? That is a great question that I wish more men would ask me. Not to brag but my home looks like a page out of AD, I cook, I wash clothes and I clean house very well. I was not neccessariy taught these skills but it was required of me at an early age. Most men are not required to have these types of skills because even today we still raise boys differently assuming they will be the sole bread winners. This is a "caveman" mentality indeed. Becoming a functioning man takes intention and practice. The more you intend to do things and the more you practice them the better you will get at it. Taking a cooking class is a good idea but let's be honest, E anyone can follow a simple recipe. The way to become a functional man is by doing and asking good questions. I have often thought about husband boot camp where I teach men skills and they are thrown into doing all the things that normally many women do with ease. I may still consider it but in the meantime getting the advise of your loved one should help.
Here are some basic tips to becoming a more useful man and spouse:
1. Do things without being asked.
2. Practice doing things in the home and having your spouse inspect it and give you some useful feedback.
3. Buy a cookbook that refers to "easy recipes" or "simple" or "four ingredients". Try your hand at cooking and be thoughtful and loving when you are doing it.
4. Ask your wife what she needs help with and do it until she changes the kind of work she asks you to do.
5. Do things in the home with the attitude that this is your sacred space and that you too are responsible for it to look great, feel great, be clean and depict love.
The difference between a functional man and one that is not is that the one who is not does not do his share of work in the home. Make sure that you are doing your share whether your wife works or not. Remember that raising children is a full time job and that you cannot pay her enough money to do this job for a salary. If your wife works then it should be fifty fifty or at least close. Just because one of you is not working a job it does not mean that you are stuck with the full load of housework and related chores. Being a functional man is truly going to inspire and spark the magic in your relationship. Try it and see.
Chapter One: Be a Functional Man
Be a functional man and learn some basic skills like cleaning a home, ironing, washing clothes and cooking. It may be that you were not taught these functional skills but it is not too late to learn them. For whatever reasons you did not learn to cook, there are ways to learn to be a great cook and in turn be able to cook for yourself, your children and maybe even for your wife when she works overtime or just to be helpful. Women find functions men sexy and if you ask them they will say that becoming intimate with a man who helps around the house is more of a pleasure because they are functional and do things in the home. In fact many women will say that seeing a man in an apron or mopping a floor turns them on. Understandably if this is not something you normally do it is sexier when you do it.
There are some very good reasons why you want to be a "functional man" versus one that is dysfunctional and the first one is that your spouse or girlfriend will likely give you your way more often if you do things in the home and do them well. It is a known fact that men who are functional are preferred over men who are not yet admittedly women will say that they stick with a man who is not functional for financial reasons. Not that I would advocate for it but men need to know that even if she sticks around for the money she is still not going to be as pleasant and forthcoming when all you do is go to work every day while she has a 24 hour job at home with the kids.
So how do you become a functional man? That is a great question that I wish more men would ask me. Not to brag but my home looks like a page out of AD, I cook, I wash clothes and I clean house very well. I was not neccessariy taught these skills but it was required of me at an early age. Most men are not required to have these types of skills because even today we still raise boys differently assuming they will be the sole bread winners. This is a "caveman" mentality indeed. Becoming a functioning man takes intention and practice. The more you intend to do things and the more you practice them the better you will get at it. Taking a cooking class is a good idea but let's be honest, E anyone can follow a simple recipe. The way to become a functional man is by doing and asking good questions. I have often thought about husband boot camp where I teach men skills and they are thrown into doing all the things that normally many women do with ease. I may still consider it but in the meantime getting the advise of your loved one should help.
Here are some basic tips to becoming a more useful man and spouse:
1. Do things without being asked.
2. Practice doing things in the home and having your spouse inspect it and give you some useful feedback.
3. Buy a cookbook that refers to "easy recipes" or "simple" or "four ingredients". Try your hand at cooking and be thoughtful and loving when you are doing it.
4. Ask your wife what she needs help with and do it until she changes the kind of work she asks you to do.
5. Do things in the home with the attitude that this is your sacred space and that you too are responsible for it to look great, feel great, be clean and depict love.
The difference between a functional man and one that is not is that the one who is not does not do his share of work in the home. Make sure that you are doing your share whether your wife works or not. Remember that raising children is a full time job and that you cannot pay her enough money to do this job for a salary. If your wife works then it should be fifty fifty or at least close. Just because one of you is not working a job it does not mean that you are stuck with the full load of housework and related chores. Being a functional man is truly going to inspire and spark the magic in your relationship. Try it and see.
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