Just Today
I often wake up with this feeling of urgency and sometimes I let it get to anxiety and then if I am really dumb about it, not self loving, it turns into angry fear. Someone is going to come and get me and that person or entity has a lot of power over me. I am this weak being with post cancer trauma and going through all these things and I cannot help thinking. Why the hell me? Another surprise? Another challenge to look at and ponder and maybe try to overcome or ignore. Another day in the life of any person. A Just Today day. It could be anybody and it could be just for now. It could last five minutes or it could last five hours. I get to chose.
Is it not amusing how we forget that we accept what we cannot control and we forget to "change the things we can"? We just cannot remember that shit from one day to the next. We just forget that if someone rings the doorbell we don't have to answer the door. Or that when some crazy lady acts horribly towards us like our own boss or mother we don't have to react and remember: It is Just Today. I won't have to deal with anything or anyone forever.
Just today we can say we are going to be in just this day. The day will change, situations will change, our perception will change, the person on the bus yesterday might likely not be on the bus screaming obscenities. I only have to live just for this precious or not so precious day. Take it in and feel it, cry for it, scream at it, laugh at it and just know "This is just for today". Remembering that nothing changes just on our whim and because we would like it to change. This is how it will be today. If we take our hands off it and our hearts in it we live it and then we hopefully live to have another experience that might be better.
I want to start a movement where everyone leaves there home at the same time, those willing, go to the same place and see if they all have the same experience because life is not and it just a day. We should feel lucky to have a day.
When you think of all the crap that has happened to you in the last year, tally the fact that you got through it. How do you live today? How did you get through all those days? Write down how you got through today. Then go back a few months and think about how you got through each day and write it down. Remind yourself of how resilient you really are. How courageous you really are and like the Tin Man that "you already have a heart".
Tito Gonzalez
Is it not amusing how we forget that we accept what we cannot control and we forget to "change the things we can"? We just cannot remember that shit from one day to the next. We just forget that if someone rings the doorbell we don't have to answer the door. Or that when some crazy lady acts horribly towards us like our own boss or mother we don't have to react and remember: It is Just Today. I won't have to deal with anything or anyone forever.
Just today we can say we are going to be in just this day. The day will change, situations will change, our perception will change, the person on the bus yesterday might likely not be on the bus screaming obscenities. I only have to live just for this precious or not so precious day. Take it in and feel it, cry for it, scream at it, laugh at it and just know "This is just for today". Remembering that nothing changes just on our whim and because we would like it to change. This is how it will be today. If we take our hands off it and our hearts in it we live it and then we hopefully live to have another experience that might be better.
I want to start a movement where everyone leaves there home at the same time, those willing, go to the same place and see if they all have the same experience because life is not and it just a day. We should feel lucky to have a day.
When you think of all the crap that has happened to you in the last year, tally the fact that you got through it. How do you live today? How did you get through all those days? Write down how you got through today. Then go back a few months and think about how you got through each day and write it down. Remind yourself of how resilient you really are. How courageous you really are and like the Tin Man that "you already have a heart".
Tito Gonzalez
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