A Deal with Your Self and God
A few days ago I decided to end the interaction between myself and a person who I knew in my heart was not an honest friend nor was the interaction genuine for me. For a few years I had been lying to myself about the reality of that acquaintance and decided to release him. I'd thought about it for a long time because my friendship with him felt dishonest and what I knew was that I was never satisfied with what would be to him a loving relationship but to me was a relationship of convenience and almost like an accidental meeting. But this is not where it starts or stops because what I am understanding is that I am in need of evaluating my own honesty and my own integrity. The results of my pondering this thought is that there are places in my life where I am in need of healing by living a more honest life. It unfortunately hurts me that as a result of this discovery I am going to need to release others in my life and discontinue any communication mostly out of a concern for my well being but more about living a life that is my truth, from this moment on.
I am like many people on this earth: easily co-dependent. If I am not careful I will see myself in another love relationship where I am giving 120 percent and the other person about 10 percent. In the past I was a perfect match for people who were emotionally absent and rarely in touch with their feelings never mind mine. In addition, I need more than most people have to give and more than others require of me. I have come to discover that my idea of love is different from many because I think that communication has to be fluid in relationships with others. I also believe that a on occasion it is a good idea to gift another person if only with a card or a flower. I am likely one of the "hopeless romantics" that listen to Spanish boleros and cry thinking about my first love. The world may not catch up with me because I am now 62 years young and have overcome things like a bad JOB. After 29 years I took an early retirement and now I practice life coaching and mentoring others on my own lovely schedule, which is when I feel like it, mostly. I live a life that has a lot of room for love and when I look around there is no one there. Luckily for me because what is my most serious goal is loving myself more each day. I am as a result of not being with anyone, finding ways to love Elliott. It feels awesome.
Making a deal with myself and God is what I am focused on these days. I want to advocate that for all of you and those people I love because frankly that is where most of us get lost and fail to comply with the law of life that tells us that self-love is more important than any kind of love for anyone at any time. We cannot love others genuinely and with zest if we don't love our selves first. That is as simple as I can put it. Making a deal with yourself to love yourself and to not continue the pattern of addiction to making others happy is likely the most profound of decisions we will ever make in life. Making a pact with God to love yourself and do the things that you need to be doing for your own good is the biggest job you will have in your entire lifetime.
I think that most of us are co-dependent and the other ones have issues with manipulation. I understand it better now that I have called my own phone and the message on my VM keeps saying: "you are just like everyone else Elliott". And the reality is that I am. All the flaws I see in others I also see in myself, now more than ever. My intention has become to look at myself closely and make decisions based on my highest good and as a mission to be in my truth, honesty, integrity and spiritual heart place. I know now that I cannot continue to fool Elliott because he is on to me. No kidding or excuses will heal me except being completely open and in full disclosure. Nothing will be more healing than just telling the truth to myself and living in a place of pure love for others and for myself. That can mean letting go but doing so with love in my heart, with love in your heart.
And all I can say is thank you goddess, and amen.
I am like many people on this earth: easily co-dependent. If I am not careful I will see myself in another love relationship where I am giving 120 percent and the other person about 10 percent. In the past I was a perfect match for people who were emotionally absent and rarely in touch with their feelings never mind mine. In addition, I need more than most people have to give and more than others require of me. I have come to discover that my idea of love is different from many because I think that communication has to be fluid in relationships with others. I also believe that a on occasion it is a good idea to gift another person if only with a card or a flower. I am likely one of the "hopeless romantics" that listen to Spanish boleros and cry thinking about my first love. The world may not catch up with me because I am now 62 years young and have overcome things like a bad JOB. After 29 years I took an early retirement and now I practice life coaching and mentoring others on my own lovely schedule, which is when I feel like it, mostly. I live a life that has a lot of room for love and when I look around there is no one there. Luckily for me because what is my most serious goal is loving myself more each day. I am as a result of not being with anyone, finding ways to love Elliott. It feels awesome.
Making a deal with myself and God is what I am focused on these days. I want to advocate that for all of you and those people I love because frankly that is where most of us get lost and fail to comply with the law of life that tells us that self-love is more important than any kind of love for anyone at any time. We cannot love others genuinely and with zest if we don't love our selves first. That is as simple as I can put it. Making a deal with yourself to love yourself and to not continue the pattern of addiction to making others happy is likely the most profound of decisions we will ever make in life. Making a pact with God to love yourself and do the things that you need to be doing for your own good is the biggest job you will have in your entire lifetime.
I think that most of us are co-dependent and the other ones have issues with manipulation. I understand it better now that I have called my own phone and the message on my VM keeps saying: "you are just like everyone else Elliott". And the reality is that I am. All the flaws I see in others I also see in myself, now more than ever. My intention has become to look at myself closely and make decisions based on my highest good and as a mission to be in my truth, honesty, integrity and spiritual heart place. I know now that I cannot continue to fool Elliott because he is on to me. No kidding or excuses will heal me except being completely open and in full disclosure. Nothing will be more healing than just telling the truth to myself and living in a place of pure love for others and for myself. That can mean letting go but doing so with love in my heart, with love in your heart.
And all I can say is thank you goddess, and amen.
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