Why People Lie

There are many reasons why people lie.  For some they feel it is necessary and a survival tactic.  For others a little lie is not as bad as a big one, measuring their lie by those that they deem much more severe in nature.  The truth about a lie is that any lie is a serious and bad one given the fact that we honor honesty or at least we think so.  Let me put it this way.  There are many men and women alike who feel as thought a small lie is just a part of living and there are many more who learned to lie when they were children in order to survive abuse.  Whatever the reasoning that justifies a lie nothing could be less true.  Every lie is a missed opportunity to tell the truth and to be respected more than if you are later caught in a lie.  Admitting the truth is hard for some because we have grown accustomed to thinking that the truth will hurt and that the truth has gotten us very little.  The fact is that the truth is not about being rewarded by anyone but rather living a life of truth will manifest positive things in our life while lies do just the opposite.  The karma comes back to us no matter what and some of us know that first hand when we treat others with disrespect and soon after someone else, not that person, does the same to us.  

Among the long array of false reasoning for lying are these: 

Some (not all) Humans learn to lie early in their childhood years.  

Some parent says to them something like: "don't tell your father".  Little ones cannot bear to be wrong and admit it to parents who are perfectionist and will lie instinctively to protect their ego and their spirit.  Children learn to lie very early in their lives and some continue to lie as adults.  It is just behavior that they found useful in some manner and it kept them from the wrath of a parent.  

We believe that some lies are acceptable as long as they are "white lies": 

We have a history of referring to little lies as white lies distinguishing those lies from the more serious ones.  We find a way to categorize a lie into little, serious and very severe lies.  If we lie about taking the last cookie in the jar that is for many a white lie, not worth having an investigation or long discussion about it.  We are very use to referring to white lies as the ones that don't count and are almost like not lying at all.  The fact is that a lie is a lie no matter what degree of it. We must also consider that different people feel differently about the same infraction or lie. 

We justify a lie by convincing ourselves we are sparing someone pain or anquish: 

We justify a lie by saying that the truth would injure the other person too much and that we are sparing them that awful experience.  Telling our spouse we went for a drink with a male co-worker after work when in fact it was a female is one of those "white lies" for example, yet for that person's spouse that omission and lie is enough to raise some concern.  It is not fair not to tell the truth about something like this knowing that your spouse might be apposed to you doing such a thing with another man or woman after work, simulating a possible date.  Besides if it were innocent why lie about it? 

We seem to think that if we omit information then that is not lying.  

If we don't actually speak the words then it is not a lie, right?  Not!  Omitting information is exactly the same as lying and by omitting information we know what we are doing.  We are keeping the actual truth about something from someone by not telling them knowing fully that this would upset someone or cause a serious concern.  Lying by omission is lying, Period! 

We want others to believe we are more important or grander then they really are:  

When we tell others that we have a college degree and making a three digit income when we are not we are lying in order to falsely and I effectively make ourselves feel more important and present a false image of someone grander to others.  We make up stories about who we really are and where we were really raised.  We share with others that we were raised upper class when in fact we  were dirt poor, all to create a bravado about ourselves that is not true.  It is a sign of insecurity but worse than that it is a bad idea.  These kinds of lies often times are later uncovered and it is much more embarrassing to be unveiled like this and undressed in front of everyone who now knows your life is a lie you fabricated.  

We don't trust ourselves, have low self-esteem and a low opinion of others: 

People are more likely to lie when they don't trust the truth and don't have a high esteem.  They lie to others because while they think so little of themselves they also think little of others.  People are not important to liars and so they justify lying to everyone about things.  

Living in our truth is not easy.  Living with integrity is something we do with intent in the same way that we chose to lie.  Placing our energy in the truth is actually the best thing we can do for our joy and the joy of others who love us.  Sharing our reality is part of trusting those that you hang with, those that are your friends and those who you say you love.