Getting Through A Loss

The question is not whether we will experience the loss but when we will experience loss.  When we lose someone we love getting through it and allowing yourself the grieving process can be difficult.  In the beginning we feel as though we might never be the same and that may be true, yet for most of us we will spring back and not only will we be OK we can become an even better and fuller version of who we were before the loss.  When we allow loss to color our every moment this will cause us to hold on to the negative aspects of losing someone and stop us from processing the loss and moving on, knowing fully that our loved one has journeyed to a better place.  When we go from the feeling bad for ourselves phase to recalling the wonderful times we had with this person who has passed on we begin a process of healing.  Although moving on seems impossible there are some positive ways to take the journey of grieving to a place where you are not just honoring the person who has transitioned you are also honoring yourself and the relationship you had with him or her.  

Some of the ways to process the loss of a loved one are: 

Feeling the feelings: 

It is important to feel our deepest feelings of loss when someone we love transitions onward.  Allowing the tears to flow and the sadness to come out will help us to release the emotional pain we may feel when losing someone.  Holding the feelings in and pretending to be strong often times results in a building up of negative feelings.  It is better to give yourself permission to emote and cleanse yourself by surrendering to the pain.  

Replaying the laughter and good times: 

As best we can it is better to replay the laughter and good times we had with the person who has died.  Thinking about and sharing those fun times will help us to release the sadness and take the time to also feel good about all those times when things were going well.  Most people who love us will say that what they want most for us is for us to be happy.  When we think about those humorous moments with our loved one we are saying yes to their desire for us to be happy.  

Honoring our loved one with a ceremony and a celebration of life: 

Wakes, funerals and other ceremonies help us to get through a loss of someone we care for deeply and that we will miss.  When we hold a ceremony and speak about the person who has passed we are honoring them and our relationship with them.  We are sharing with others what that person meant to us.  When we do this we automatically feel a sense of release and even if just for that time, a sense of joy.  When we honor the people we love we are in part saying that this person will live inside of our hearts always.  

Having a loving share with our loved one: 

Just because someone is not here in body does not mean you cannot communicate with their spirit.  Many people understand and believe that one can communicate with the people who have gone before us.  I believe it and would encourage loving shares with the people you love who are no longer with you in the flesh.  Remembering that you have the ability to communicate love to those you love is a magical path to healing.  Simply sharing your thoughts with those who have passed on is in itself a self-healing way of getting through it.  

Praying for the loved one who passed on: 

For those of us who believe in prayer and the energy it creates praying for a loved one who has transitioned is a sacred way to honor them.  Many believe that through prayer we an ask God to care for our loved one and to receive them with open arms.  Praying for someone who has died is simply to ask for their salvation and to clear the path for them to become Angels in our life.  Thankful prayer shared with our Source is a way to remain grateful for that person who was s part of you and who loved you and assisted you on your life journey.  

The one thing to remember is that we don't have to stuff our feelings down and that we can continue to have a relationship with those we love who pass before us.  We will all transition some day but today we  have a choice to live life fully and to enjoy the moment.  Being present while we are alive is a way that shows our gratitude for our life on earth.  The day we are called to the next world we will know that we did all that we old to honor the life we lived..  In the end all that matters is that we allow ourselves to be happy and celebrate the people we love: those who are here with us and those who have been lifted.  

In memory of Dora Yvette Collazo, my wonderful sister.