Gossip and Entertainment
I have discovered that gossip makes me uncomfortable and that it is not something I want to participate in. Still to my surprise (or not) there are others out there that remind me that gossip is alive and well. Recently since I have become more social and go out dancing more I have experienced more people talking about one another and passing around information that I am certain can potentially be dangerous, at times influencing who talks to whom and who is no longer integrating in the dance circle.
It is difficult to get across to others that being honest is much different from talking behind other's backs. The fact remains that for individuals who have nothing to do other people's lives have become a form of entertainment, giving them a feeling of being useful, especially if they can justify this type of ill yet common behavior. I for one have become immune to it yet I still worry about the effect this type of poor behavior has on others when the usual person who likes to gossip is so often times so null and void to the reality of what they say and how it adversely effects others.
I believe that the way to stop the gossip fast is to be in your awareness and when someone is simply telling someone else's story it is up to us to shut it down. It may mean that we will need to state in no uncertain terms that we don't participate in discussions around other people's lives when they are not there to contribute their truth. If that does not work the simple statement should be: " This feels like gossiping and I am not comfortable hearing this information about someone else".
We live in a world where we not only gossip we place our personal business out there for all to know. We post pictures of ourselves, our home, our family and our vacations (in case someone wants to rob us while we are in Florida) and we have become so candid in our comments about others that the extreme of it has been all out battles and a cause for someone killing someone else because another male said he had a crush on him and that male was not gay. Even teens have become so angry as to one day plot the death of a girl whom they became jealous of, all related to social media and our own ability to gossip about ourselves. The truth is we tell too much and we say things that in essence we could keep to ourselves and for the consumption of people who we know and interact with privately.
Gossip seems harmless but the reality is that it can be dangerous and at the very least a catalyst to ending relationships and starting fights between what one would think are rational people. It is hurtful and harmful to yourself and others and does absolutely no good with the exception of entertaining us on occassion. Although many of us will not admit to it we have been a part of the gossip mill and have caused strife for ourselves, never mind the others that we involve. It seem to be a natural inclination for people to talk about others yet there are many who have realized the darkness it can cause and will have nothing to do with it.
When we talk about others it is a reflection of who we are. Usually it is the very things we dislike about others that are similar if not the same character defects we have as well. Stopping to think about what we are saying at the time we are saying helps us to understand that inside of us there is a pain that is the very reason we are critical of someone else. Whether we are hurt by others is something we must simply accept as.a part of life. We will be hurt and we will feel feelings of betrayal but reacting in a like manner does not make us truly feel better and surely will not heal hurt.
The next time you are tempted to talk about someone else simply stop and breath a few deep breaths. Then talk yourself out of it by reminding yourself that you would not like it if someone told your story to others. Keep sacred that which is a part of your life that should be private and understand that this is how others would like it to be. Go inside and ask yourself why you have any desire to be critical of others when in fact you know first hand how much that hurts. Then and only then can we all refrain from gossip.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
It is difficult to get across to others that being honest is much different from talking behind other's backs. The fact remains that for individuals who have nothing to do other people's lives have become a form of entertainment, giving them a feeling of being useful, especially if they can justify this type of ill yet common behavior. I for one have become immune to it yet I still worry about the effect this type of poor behavior has on others when the usual person who likes to gossip is so often times so null and void to the reality of what they say and how it adversely effects others.
I believe that the way to stop the gossip fast is to be in your awareness and when someone is simply telling someone else's story it is up to us to shut it down. It may mean that we will need to state in no uncertain terms that we don't participate in discussions around other people's lives when they are not there to contribute their truth. If that does not work the simple statement should be: " This feels like gossiping and I am not comfortable hearing this information about someone else".
We live in a world where we not only gossip we place our personal business out there for all to know. We post pictures of ourselves, our home, our family and our vacations (in case someone wants to rob us while we are in Florida) and we have become so candid in our comments about others that the extreme of it has been all out battles and a cause for someone killing someone else because another male said he had a crush on him and that male was not gay. Even teens have become so angry as to one day plot the death of a girl whom they became jealous of, all related to social media and our own ability to gossip about ourselves. The truth is we tell too much and we say things that in essence we could keep to ourselves and for the consumption of people who we know and interact with privately.
Gossip seems harmless but the reality is that it can be dangerous and at the very least a catalyst to ending relationships and starting fights between what one would think are rational people. It is hurtful and harmful to yourself and others and does absolutely no good with the exception of entertaining us on occassion. Although many of us will not admit to it we have been a part of the gossip mill and have caused strife for ourselves, never mind the others that we involve. It seem to be a natural inclination for people to talk about others yet there are many who have realized the darkness it can cause and will have nothing to do with it.
When we talk about others it is a reflection of who we are. Usually it is the very things we dislike about others that are similar if not the same character defects we have as well. Stopping to think about what we are saying at the time we are saying helps us to understand that inside of us there is a pain that is the very reason we are critical of someone else. Whether we are hurt by others is something we must simply accept as.a part of life. We will be hurt and we will feel feelings of betrayal but reacting in a like manner does not make us truly feel better and surely will not heal hurt.
The next time you are tempted to talk about someone else simply stop and breath a few deep breaths. Then talk yourself out of it by reminding yourself that you would not like it if someone told your story to others. Keep sacred that which is a part of your life that should be private and understand that this is how others would like it to be. Go inside and ask yourself why you have any desire to be critical of others when in fact you know first hand how much that hurts. Then and only then can we all refrain from gossip.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
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