I Love Me Not

Girls are taught at a young age to recite "he loves me, he loves me not" while plucking the pedals off of a yellow daisy.  Girls and boys alike are not taught to be in touch with who they are and to put a value on their life.  On the contrary many of us learn that feeling great about ourselves was simply not acceptable, least of all loving who we are.  Because of this type of thinking we have become some of the most co-dependent people ever.  We are unhappy when we are not in a relationship and we think we become happier when we do.  There is really nothing further from the truth about life.  It is when we sincerely love ourselves that we will be whole, with or without someone else.  

The fact is that if we don't love ourselves and learn to hold ourselves up we may never be whole.  Learning to love ourselves is not something we obtain from our parents.  Loving ourselves is not usually what many religious leaders advocate for in their sermons.  In fact the messages we get are all about self-love being selfish and egotistic.  We spend a lot of our time deciding on what it is we can do for others, who needs our love and forfeiting ourselves.  When we pass ourselves over and make ourselves second, third and even last, we deepen the false belief that we don't deserve love unless someone gives it to us.  

The one thing that I am very happy about is that I know now the value of loving myself.  It happened in my life time and before I wasted any more time trying to get others to love me, especially people that did not seem to know how to love me.  The truth is that I looked for love in all the wrong places and those wrong places were everywhere I went, everywhere I looked and everywhere I prayed for.  The love I should have been looking for was my own.  So many times we spend years with people who have not shown us that they love us or at the very least that they respect us.  We spend a lot of time trying to fix them because after all that is our job.  In fact, it is not at all our job to fix others.  Ever.  

I would like to advocate for a new nursery rhyme, one that goes like this: 

I love me, 
I love me now. 
I love me, 
I love me more. 
I love me, 
And all my parts.
I love me, 
From finish to start.

I like to think that one day we are going to evolve into people that work at self-love and that in the end will make this world a more loving place.  I want to think that girls can learn to love themselves because it is natural to do so.  I want to imagine a world where people seem to be in a love trance all the time, day and night.  I want to live in a place where loving yourself large is considered the single most wonderful accomplishment in the pursuit of joy.   


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