A Brother and Sister
I have been inspired to write a blog about siblings and in particular share some things about my own sister and brother. Each of them has a different and unique role in my life and each is different in their ways. All three of us grew up in a situation that many American children undergo: divorce, separation, abandonment by one parent and a life where we have worked diligently for everything we have. We endured the separation between us, at times for years. Nothing could explain why but and what matters today is that we found one another again, reuniting in a much more cohesive and loving way. Perhaps it was because we were separated and at times triangulated we did not naturally gravitate to one another, at least not all of our lives. Yet what we value, what I value is that we are united now and we have found a newness and connection that is both loving and kind.
My sister is one of my best friends. She is my quirky girl who loves do dance tango. She is in fact a wonderful dancer and applies it in a way that brings her joy and adds to her already great social life. She is the kind of woman who has always been liberated and as a young child never took any abuse from anyone. She knows her boundaries and in fact has not problem letting you know what they are, especially if you cross them. She is nurturing person who serves others their food when she cooks and yet can lift more pounds at the gym than most men. Her size six body may fool one into thinking that she is fragile but there is a physical and emotional strength about her that is powerful. I will not soon forget one incident where I was in the throws of divorce and stayed with her when she looked at me and said "you have to do things for yourself" and another time when she stopped the car and asked me if I would like to take the bus back to her house. That same day she raised her voice with emotion and said: "I am not going to loose you". I cried as her tears manifested. It was a defining moment in our relationship as brother and sister. During this time I had lost so much weight from the cancer and the treatments that I fit in her dresses. Although I have never had the inclination to be a female I tried on her dresses and even bought some heels to wear around the house. I had indeed gone back to when I was a child and wanted to know what that would be like. Now I know: Painful, LOL. All the time her response to me was positive and supportive. Having a sister like her has helped me to grow, be inspired and pass the love on to others including our brother. I feel fortunate that I was gifted with a sibling like her who has helped me to become a better person.
My brother and I fought a lot for a period of time. I was very mean to him as a child because I think I was jealous of him. He was as I saw it "the golden child". I felt as though my mom liked him more than me but it was just that he conceded to her wishes more readily and did not buck her authority while I was almost the opposite. I bucked her all the time and her anger came out towards me as I look exactly like my dad, the man who ran off with another women after 11 years of marriage. For years he and I were estranged and did not see each other. I am uncertain as to exactly what happened with us but now it does not matter one bit to me. I reunited with him and today I realize that he is one of the most gentle and kind men I know. I love him and will tell him so, even though we were not raised to be affectionate or say it. My sister was instrumental in bringing us together through my nieces, his two daughters. I will not soon forget that moment when I met them and laughed so hard about my one niece's sense of humor: dry like mine. We laughed so much I bonded with her in just a few hours. After that I decided to make amends with my wonderful brother who had not done anything to me to make me isolate from him. I still think that our upbringing had an influence in what happened with us but now it really is irrelevant. Yesterday my brother came by my new home and this is why I was prompted to write this blog about siblings. He worked from the time he walked in the door to be of service to me and show that he cared about me. He connected the washer and dryer, he connected my audio equipment, he moved the bed and dresser to a good spot, he unpacked boxes and his friend made us a meal. My brother works day in and day out, seven days a week as a musician (great lead guitar player) and as a person who does title searches (not sure what that is). The fact is he works and then works some more. Then he has the heart to come and help me until he became exhausted. That's a truly dedicated and compassionate brother!
I realize this blog is a little long and I could continue to give compliments to my siblings. I want to end this by sharing that we all lost a little sister, the youngest of us four. Her name is Dora Yvette. I think we all miss her, I especially do. She was a light in our lives for the time she was with us when she left at 22 years of age. She will be missed. If you have siblings I would encourage you to connect with them and to create a bond that can only be one that is powerful and filled with love. With that said, may your life connections be beautiful.
My sister is one of my best friends. She is my quirky girl who loves do dance tango. She is in fact a wonderful dancer and applies it in a way that brings her joy and adds to her already great social life. She is the kind of woman who has always been liberated and as a young child never took any abuse from anyone. She knows her boundaries and in fact has not problem letting you know what they are, especially if you cross them. She is nurturing person who serves others their food when she cooks and yet can lift more pounds at the gym than most men. Her size six body may fool one into thinking that she is fragile but there is a physical and emotional strength about her that is powerful. I will not soon forget one incident where I was in the throws of divorce and stayed with her when she looked at me and said "you have to do things for yourself" and another time when she stopped the car and asked me if I would like to take the bus back to her house. That same day she raised her voice with emotion and said: "I am not going to loose you". I cried as her tears manifested. It was a defining moment in our relationship as brother and sister. During this time I had lost so much weight from the cancer and the treatments that I fit in her dresses. Although I have never had the inclination to be a female I tried on her dresses and even bought some heels to wear around the house. I had indeed gone back to when I was a child and wanted to know what that would be like. Now I know: Painful, LOL. All the time her response to me was positive and supportive. Having a sister like her has helped me to grow, be inspired and pass the love on to others including our brother. I feel fortunate that I was gifted with a sibling like her who has helped me to become a better person.
My brother and I fought a lot for a period of time. I was very mean to him as a child because I think I was jealous of him. He was as I saw it "the golden child". I felt as though my mom liked him more than me but it was just that he conceded to her wishes more readily and did not buck her authority while I was almost the opposite. I bucked her all the time and her anger came out towards me as I look exactly like my dad, the man who ran off with another women after 11 years of marriage. For years he and I were estranged and did not see each other. I am uncertain as to exactly what happened with us but now it does not matter one bit to me. I reunited with him and today I realize that he is one of the most gentle and kind men I know. I love him and will tell him so, even though we were not raised to be affectionate or say it. My sister was instrumental in bringing us together through my nieces, his two daughters. I will not soon forget that moment when I met them and laughed so hard about my one niece's sense of humor: dry like mine. We laughed so much I bonded with her in just a few hours. After that I decided to make amends with my wonderful brother who had not done anything to me to make me isolate from him. I still think that our upbringing had an influence in what happened with us but now it really is irrelevant. Yesterday my brother came by my new home and this is why I was prompted to write this blog about siblings. He worked from the time he walked in the door to be of service to me and show that he cared about me. He connected the washer and dryer, he connected my audio equipment, he moved the bed and dresser to a good spot, he unpacked boxes and his friend made us a meal. My brother works day in and day out, seven days a week as a musician (great lead guitar player) and as a person who does title searches (not sure what that is). The fact is he works and then works some more. Then he has the heart to come and help me until he became exhausted. That's a truly dedicated and compassionate brother!
I realize this blog is a little long and I could continue to give compliments to my siblings. I want to end this by sharing that we all lost a little sister, the youngest of us four. Her name is Dora Yvette. I think we all miss her, I especially do. She was a light in our lives for the time she was with us when she left at 22 years of age. She will be missed. If you have siblings I would encourage you to connect with them and to create a bond that can only be one that is powerful and filled with love. With that said, may your life connections be beautiful.
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