Think Before You Say or Do Things

I believe that we do and say things so much of the time without thinking that we forget to think before we speak or do something.  We loose the importance of thinking, being thoughtful and living with intention truly is.  Yet we continue to do and say things to others that is hurtful, offensive or judgemental.  How do we become more thoughtful and live with purpose?  

Before you say anything to someone, especially when you are emotionally charged count to ten slowly.  We tend to say things to others are hurtful because we don't take the time to pause before we say it.  If we would only take a moment to think about what we say we'd be much better off and so would others who we address, work with or share our lives with.  By pausing we lessen the chances of hurting others.  

We have all done things that are harmful to either others, ourselves or both.  We may express our anger by pushing another person or doing other physically abusive things to others.  We do so because we are not thinking and are quick to react to others behavior or our own sad or angry feelings.  

I have coached couples who are physically and emotionally abusive.  The reason for the behavior was explained as things that get out of hand suddenly.  This is in fact their truth about their behavior and often times the reason for people's actions which is that they don't think first.  Pausing for them was and continues to be important in changing their behavior towards one another.  If a couple can overcome abusive behavior by taking a time out and thinking about it we can all do the same thing to improve our relationships with others.  

Fear, resentment, anguish, anger and other such feelings that we withhold will eventually come out, sometimes in inappropriate ways.  The best intervention for anger, resentment anguish or fear is to pause.  Stopping to think about what is going on inside of us helps us to understand better the consequences of just releasing the anger in ways that will injure us or others.  Give yourself time to think and you will live a life that is one with intention and love free of attacks and hurtful behaviors.  

No one is perfect and so we do our best with what we know and our understanding of others and the universe that makes us related more than we are different.  As we navigate through life all we need to know is that we are one in God's presence.  

Elliott Maximo Collazo 

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