How to Start Over
Each and every step I take in the direction of healing and new beginnings I further my knowledge in this place in my life. I feel more confident that my experiences will assist you all out there who are reading my blog and who understand that life is a journey and that we are not flawed or incomplete without a partner, wife or husband or lover for that matter. I understand better today more so because I am blessed with a new home with a beautiful lake view and a wonderful view of the birds flying in formation. I understand now and want to share with others that life can be incredible and full of hope when someone leaves your life under and circumstance, especially when you are fighting an illness like mine.
No one knows what is better for me than me. I knew for many years that my relationship with someone in my life was stale, stagnant and unhealthy. I did not listen to my spirit and my soul had to be smashed so that I could let go and move on. I started over again at first without even realizing it, five years before it ended but it took more clarity to figure out that I was worth more than how I was being treated. I did that and on that day I knew nothing would ever be the same. Now I know why I left and why I sabotaged the entire situation with someone who not only I did not like, but someone who did not like anyone enough to sacrifice a little something more for, not even his best friend who follows a path of prescription meds and another that is a hermit. Yet God can surpass all of this self-hate that made me stay in the relationship and allow me to start over again inside a beautiful home. It is a gift I won't ever take for granted. Nor will my life ever turn to someone else to bring my heart and soul joy, not ever.
You too must know your worth and be able to start over again and here are some ways you can do just that:
1. Take your life back, literally: Decide today that your life is not manageable and that you are worth more than staying inside a situation that does not serve you or love your spirit. Take your power back and at the same time take your spirit back while you are at it. You will spring back.
2. No matter how fearful you are do it: If you are scared don't worry so is everyone else that has gotten out and rewinded their life. You can and you will do this but only if you let go of what you fear most. Is it financial? Is it that you feel like you cannot live without someone you thought loved you? Whatever reason it is know that it is a trap that he and you set for you. Become like a lioness and fear nothing because honestly there is nothing to fear. If you stay that would be more scary than anything that could ever happen to you. Dying with someone who you don't like is a slow and painful existence.
3. Separate from the situation: Get yourself out of the painful situation you are in as soon as you can. The other part of that may be for the other person to leave. I created a wedge between myself and the person who left eventually because he was in the long run a coward and I understood it clearly. I had to see it with open eyes but separating was the very best thing that happened. I started to piece together my life and he was no longer in power since he was far away physically and could not harm me anymore. Get some distance by doing what you need to do or encouraging him to leave. Nothing is better for healing than absence and believe me when I say this: "absence did not make my heart grow any fonder" of him. In fact the seperation helped me to see clearly that I was in the wrong situation for me. Start to let go even if you do so slowly.
4. Make your own joy and plans: Being a regimen of doing things alone as often as possible. Go on a trip somewhere for at least a week or two. Get time to think and to get detached from the abuse. Don't think you have to sit through the bullying and other poor behaviors. Even the ignoring can weigh heavily on us. Get some time alone so you can make a plan of action. Decide each step when you are distant from the dark person you are with. Move into the light by loving yourself fully while at the same time regrouping.
5. Go into deep silence: Find some way to experience inner peace. Be quiet and stop the chatter in your life. It is time for you to meditate and ask your higher self to give you some loving guidance. No one can hurt you when you are empowered with prayer, meditation or silencing the voices. In fact like me you can take a vow of silence for a few days. This will help you to process the pain in every aspect of who you truly are, uncovering the inner beauty that you truly are without the chatter and without the self-abusive situation you are in right now. Detach with love for yourself and source your inner spirit.
To be continued...
No one knows what is better for me than me. I knew for many years that my relationship with someone in my life was stale, stagnant and unhealthy. I did not listen to my spirit and my soul had to be smashed so that I could let go and move on. I started over again at first without even realizing it, five years before it ended but it took more clarity to figure out that I was worth more than how I was being treated. I did that and on that day I knew nothing would ever be the same. Now I know why I left and why I sabotaged the entire situation with someone who not only I did not like, but someone who did not like anyone enough to sacrifice a little something more for, not even his best friend who follows a path of prescription meds and another that is a hermit. Yet God can surpass all of this self-hate that made me stay in the relationship and allow me to start over again inside a beautiful home. It is a gift I won't ever take for granted. Nor will my life ever turn to someone else to bring my heart and soul joy, not ever.
You too must know your worth and be able to start over again and here are some ways you can do just that:
1. Take your life back, literally: Decide today that your life is not manageable and that you are worth more than staying inside a situation that does not serve you or love your spirit. Take your power back and at the same time take your spirit back while you are at it. You will spring back.
2. No matter how fearful you are do it: If you are scared don't worry so is everyone else that has gotten out and rewinded their life. You can and you will do this but only if you let go of what you fear most. Is it financial? Is it that you feel like you cannot live without someone you thought loved you? Whatever reason it is know that it is a trap that he and you set for you. Become like a lioness and fear nothing because honestly there is nothing to fear. If you stay that would be more scary than anything that could ever happen to you. Dying with someone who you don't like is a slow and painful existence.
3. Separate from the situation: Get yourself out of the painful situation you are in as soon as you can. The other part of that may be for the other person to leave. I created a wedge between myself and the person who left eventually because he was in the long run a coward and I understood it clearly. I had to see it with open eyes but separating was the very best thing that happened. I started to piece together my life and he was no longer in power since he was far away physically and could not harm me anymore. Get some distance by doing what you need to do or encouraging him to leave. Nothing is better for healing than absence and believe me when I say this: "absence did not make my heart grow any fonder" of him. In fact the seperation helped me to see clearly that I was in the wrong situation for me. Start to let go even if you do so slowly.
4. Make your own joy and plans: Being a regimen of doing things alone as often as possible. Go on a trip somewhere for at least a week or two. Get time to think and to get detached from the abuse. Don't think you have to sit through the bullying and other poor behaviors. Even the ignoring can weigh heavily on us. Get some time alone so you can make a plan of action. Decide each step when you are distant from the dark person you are with. Move into the light by loving yourself fully while at the same time regrouping.
5. Go into deep silence: Find some way to experience inner peace. Be quiet and stop the chatter in your life. It is time for you to meditate and ask your higher self to give you some loving guidance. No one can hurt you when you are empowered with prayer, meditation or silencing the voices. In fact like me you can take a vow of silence for a few days. This will help you to process the pain in every aspect of who you truly are, uncovering the inner beauty that you truly are without the chatter and without the self-abusive situation you are in right now. Detach with love for yourself and source your inner spirit.
To be continued...
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