The Five Signs
I have been thinking a lot about how relationships end and sadly I do think that most end relatively suddenly because one person in it has been plotting their escape for some time, even having long term affairs for years. Yet there are some basic signals that a relationship is not doing well and that you are not doing well in the relationship. Signals that signal that it is time to bail.
Here are the four signs that a relationship is not worth pursuing never mind staying in it for years:
1. You are never good enough no matter what you do or say.
2. The romance dies off within the first six months.
3. The person you are with is competitive and wants to win at any cost.
4. What you do is not acknowledged or appreciated.
5. The intimacy is one sided and boring.
When you are in a relationship where no matter how hard you try it's not good enough it is a sign of things to come. Once you determine this flaw in the relationship it is likely time to get out and do so quickly and efficiently. If the person you are with finds fault in everything you do and nothing seems to be enough it is a sign that you are with the wrong person and that this person is not the one for you. Usually people who find fault in you so rapidly and often are going to make your life difficult. You are better off exiting this type of relationship with this kind of person that you seem not to be able to please.
A lot of men seem romantic at first and some are quite good at it. It is a matter of how long this romantic period lasts. Usually when it is not authentic it will die in a few months into the relationship and by six months to a year it will dwindle into nothing. The romantic person he presented to you in the beginning was an act in order to entice you and get you to stick around. If the romance dies out that readily and that quickly running to the nearest exit would likely be your best option. Run as though there is a fire because frankly the longer you stay the more accustomed you will become to the lack of romance and soon you will be making excuses for accepting it as normal.
Collaboration is what a relationship that is loving has as one of its characteristics. Competition is not. No relationship should be competitive and it should never be about who is smarter, more witty or makes the most money. Relationships are meant to be cohesive and not stressful and competitive whereby you fight for the right to exist. A loving relationship is not about competition but rather should be based on support, compassion and lifting each others spirits.
If you are anything like me you take pride in the things you do well and you bring that gift into the relationship with another person. You may be very good at cooking or decorating or even cleaning house. From the beginning your partner should notice your gifts and acknowledge and show his appreciation for those gifts. If he does not compliment you about things that you are good at it is a sign that he is jealous of your skills or simply avoids complimenting you because he feels inferior to you or basically does not appreciate what you bring into the relationship that is special. Get out fast.
When intimacy is not a two way street where he works at it as much if not more than you do to ensure that it is exciting and filled with passion, there will eventually be some serious consequences. Men who sit back and are serviced by a woman are usually ones who cannot understand and will not get that sex is a joint effort. The other end of this is when you initiate the intimacy most of the time and he does not seem to get how to please you or makes no effort to do that. A man who lies back and just takes or who screws you as though you are a whore being serviced is not going to get any better at it by your giving him lessons. A man either knows how to be intimate and sexy and sensual or he does not. Don't sit and wait for this dog to learn new tricks. It simply is not going to ever happen, never mind the obvious factor that he is selfish.
There you have it, the five signs that you are in the wrong situation with the wrong man. Try to understand that no matters what you do there is no way to make a man into what you would like him to be. He either is or he isn't what you have been wishing for and what you deserve. The faster you move on after seeing the signs the better. It is a waste of time to stick around when all the red and yellow flags have come up.
Here are the four signs that a relationship is not worth pursuing never mind staying in it for years:
1. You are never good enough no matter what you do or say.
2. The romance dies off within the first six months.
3. The person you are with is competitive and wants to win at any cost.
4. What you do is not acknowledged or appreciated.
5. The intimacy is one sided and boring.
When you are in a relationship where no matter how hard you try it's not good enough it is a sign of things to come. Once you determine this flaw in the relationship it is likely time to get out and do so quickly and efficiently. If the person you are with finds fault in everything you do and nothing seems to be enough it is a sign that you are with the wrong person and that this person is not the one for you. Usually people who find fault in you so rapidly and often are going to make your life difficult. You are better off exiting this type of relationship with this kind of person that you seem not to be able to please.
A lot of men seem romantic at first and some are quite good at it. It is a matter of how long this romantic period lasts. Usually when it is not authentic it will die in a few months into the relationship and by six months to a year it will dwindle into nothing. The romantic person he presented to you in the beginning was an act in order to entice you and get you to stick around. If the romance dies out that readily and that quickly running to the nearest exit would likely be your best option. Run as though there is a fire because frankly the longer you stay the more accustomed you will become to the lack of romance and soon you will be making excuses for accepting it as normal.
Collaboration is what a relationship that is loving has as one of its characteristics. Competition is not. No relationship should be competitive and it should never be about who is smarter, more witty or makes the most money. Relationships are meant to be cohesive and not stressful and competitive whereby you fight for the right to exist. A loving relationship is not about competition but rather should be based on support, compassion and lifting each others spirits.
If you are anything like me you take pride in the things you do well and you bring that gift into the relationship with another person. You may be very good at cooking or decorating or even cleaning house. From the beginning your partner should notice your gifts and acknowledge and show his appreciation for those gifts. If he does not compliment you about things that you are good at it is a sign that he is jealous of your skills or simply avoids complimenting you because he feels inferior to you or basically does not appreciate what you bring into the relationship that is special. Get out fast.
When intimacy is not a two way street where he works at it as much if not more than you do to ensure that it is exciting and filled with passion, there will eventually be some serious consequences. Men who sit back and are serviced by a woman are usually ones who cannot understand and will not get that sex is a joint effort. The other end of this is when you initiate the intimacy most of the time and he does not seem to get how to please you or makes no effort to do that. A man who lies back and just takes or who screws you as though you are a whore being serviced is not going to get any better at it by your giving him lessons. A man either knows how to be intimate and sexy and sensual or he does not. Don't sit and wait for this dog to learn new tricks. It simply is not going to ever happen, never mind the obvious factor that he is selfish.
There you have it, the five signs that you are in the wrong situation with the wrong man. Try to understand that no matters what you do there is no way to make a man into what you would like him to be. He either is or he isn't what you have been wishing for and what you deserve. The faster you move on after seeing the signs the better. It is a waste of time to stick around when all the red and yellow flags have come up.
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