Addicts and Your Life
Inevitably addicts don't usually select other addicts to hold have a relationship with. It makes complete sense that people who are addicts are on a search to find people who are not addicts and who are responsible people. They want someone in their life who will fix them or who they can latch onto either emotionally or financially or both. Active addicts find themselves in the position of needing to manipulate others to get what they need and are not always intentional. The addict is in a compromising position and feel that they need to manipulate in order to survive and have learned this behavior from another addict like their dad or mom. Unfortunately when addiction to any drug is modeled for a child the chances are high that this child will become an addictive adult. Of all the addictions it is likely alcohol that is the drug of choice. It is accessible and it is also socially acceptable. One need only attend a frat party to determine that getting drunk is like a right of passage. Being drunk, young and beautiful is often looked upon as cute, funny or amusing, especially among the affluent young people. We seem to ignore the addiction to booze more than the others we might deem more serious yet it can be very severe.
When we become involved with an addict, especially one who is untreated, we are asking for a life that is less than pleasant. It is a life with a person who does not have control of their life and who is in a constant battle. We end up in a constant struggle or we end up enabling him or her, the latter being more common. We enable the addict because there is a part of us that feels empowered. There is a part of us that is nurturing as well. In either case we end up enabling the other person because we don't know what else to do with someone who is in denial about their own situation of addiction which is more often the case than not. We fall into the role of enabler easily because it is human nature to support and love others. It is part of our DNA. The addict also banks on this and knows that as long as he or she is convincing he or she will get what they need from the person who cares about them. The main thing that is wrong about this is that your life is not your own as long as you are focused on the addict and what they need. Addiction is a cunning disease and the people who are addicts know what to do to get what they want.
Like the addict your life will eventually become unmanageable. You will feel as though you are in your own personal nightmare the longer you stay in a relationship with a person who is addictive. Your life will not be your own as long as you stay in a relationship with an addict. What they do will effect you and their actions will have consequences to you and your family. Sooner or later you will have to take control of the situation with the addict unless he or she gets the professional help they need. The only way to stay is to insist that the person get the help and change the trajectory that they are going towards. For you there are programs like Alanon that address the unique issues around living with an addict. For you there is professional counseling with experts who know the plight of the person on the other end of the addiction.
Addicts often times do not get it but the people who they select are affected in some very severe ways. It is up to us to decide to stay in relationships with addictive people and to understand that in the case of alcoholism only 30 percent experience a complete recovery. The other 70 percent never recover and are on the addiction train all of their lives. Although some alcoholics are not violent their personality is effected by the consumption of this drug. There is no denial that every one deserves to be loved yet when our lives are adversely affected by others who chose to be addicts we must make a choice to love our selves and to do right by our spirit and soul. Compassion for the addict is a key element and having compassion for others by letting them go is one of the best ways to send the message that they must heal from their own issues.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
When we become involved with an addict, especially one who is untreated, we are asking for a life that is less than pleasant. It is a life with a person who does not have control of their life and who is in a constant battle. We end up in a constant struggle or we end up enabling him or her, the latter being more common. We enable the addict because there is a part of us that feels empowered. There is a part of us that is nurturing as well. In either case we end up enabling the other person because we don't know what else to do with someone who is in denial about their own situation of addiction which is more often the case than not. We fall into the role of enabler easily because it is human nature to support and love others. It is part of our DNA. The addict also banks on this and knows that as long as he or she is convincing he or she will get what they need from the person who cares about them. The main thing that is wrong about this is that your life is not your own as long as you are focused on the addict and what they need. Addiction is a cunning disease and the people who are addicts know what to do to get what they want.
Like the addict your life will eventually become unmanageable. You will feel as though you are in your own personal nightmare the longer you stay in a relationship with a person who is addictive. Your life will not be your own as long as you stay in a relationship with an addict. What they do will effect you and their actions will have consequences to you and your family. Sooner or later you will have to take control of the situation with the addict unless he or she gets the professional help they need. The only way to stay is to insist that the person get the help and change the trajectory that they are going towards. For you there are programs like Alanon that address the unique issues around living with an addict. For you there is professional counseling with experts who know the plight of the person on the other end of the addiction.
Addicts often times do not get it but the people who they select are affected in some very severe ways. It is up to us to decide to stay in relationships with addictive people and to understand that in the case of alcoholism only 30 percent experience a complete recovery. The other 70 percent never recover and are on the addiction train all of their lives. Although some alcoholics are not violent their personality is effected by the consumption of this drug. There is no denial that every one deserves to be loved yet when our lives are adversely affected by others who chose to be addicts we must make a choice to love our selves and to do right by our spirit and soul. Compassion for the addict is a key element and having compassion for others by letting them go is one of the best ways to send the message that they must heal from their own issues.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
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