Be Who You Are: Authentically You
In sixth grade my mother moved us to Chicago. I ended up in a CPS school that at the time was in a pretty good neighborhood where we lived only a block from it on Lyndale Street. I recall the very first day of school when the teacher took attendance out loud and each student had to respond with "present". My name was one of the first called and since the teacher had trouble pronouncing my Spanish last name I corrected her. This elicited a reaction from her and a question. She asked: "What kind of name is that?". I responded with "Puertorican" to which she asked: "What is Puertorican?". To this day I am uncertain as to whether she meant to hurt my feelings or not but at the very lseast for me it felt like a form of ignorance. When I shared this incident with my mother she was furious and was of the opinion that this teacher must be an idiot not to know about Puerto Rico, a commonwealth of the United States then and now.
This experience would be one of many in a city where segregation was and still is prominent and it is well known fact one of the most racist cities in the U.S. Without elaborating I can only share that I was often made into all kinds of ethnic backgrounds that I was not, including Italian because of my name: Collazo (pronounced Coyaso in Spanish). As it turns out apparently we do have some Italian heritage in us but comments like "you don't have an accent" and "you speak English really well" (I was born in Ohio and English is actually my first language) truly wore on me and brought me to understand the limited scope of some people who cannot think beyond their limited experience nor are interested in learning anything other than what they think consumable.
As Latinos we must know who we are and be who we are. So many of us have become assimilated to the degree where we forget our culture, our language and our morals as people who come from a beautiful heritage. We allow others to make us believe that if we blend in and behave that we will succeed because we will be accepted. We comply to the standards and morals of others who don't understand that we are a group of people who believe and are passionate about life. We do not bother to teach our children Spanish because we are ashamed even though we may not like to admit to it. We have been shamed by others to believe that we cannot be full fledged Americans if we speak Spanish. After all "you are in America and in America we speak English".
I recall being shamed by a woman who was already sad enough when she told me that I was the only grandfather who wanted to take my granddaughters everywhere. This because she completely ignored the fact that I had grandkids and never formally invited them to any social occasion. The only explanation for me was that she could not think differently from her limited way of thinking and that what mattered to me did not matter an once to her. In fact what I deduced was that she was jealous because her son did not have children and I did. How dare I be a Latino gay man with children and grandchildren? How dare me think that my grandkids were important enough to get an invitation from her to dinner? What I understood and continue to understand is that I have to know who I am and that the next time I should not get involved with people like her and accept that kind of complete disregard for who I am.
Be who you are my fellow Latinos. Be who you are no matter who you are: gay, straight, Polish, African American or French. Being who you are is being the Authentic You and being authentic to who you are is really everything. Allowing others to shame you for who you are is unacceptable and clearly will undermine that beautiful person you are inside. Speak your language and teach your children your language. Don't let mainstream limited thinkers make you believe that your culture and beautiful language are not meaningful and wonderful. Be who you are my fellow loving, passionate, beautiful and compassionate Latinos and remember that any criticism of who you are is not something we should ever entertain.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
This experience would be one of many in a city where segregation was and still is prominent and it is well known fact one of the most racist cities in the U.S. Without elaborating I can only share that I was often made into all kinds of ethnic backgrounds that I was not, including Italian because of my name: Collazo (pronounced Coyaso in Spanish). As it turns out apparently we do have some Italian heritage in us but comments like "you don't have an accent" and "you speak English really well" (I was born in Ohio and English is actually my first language) truly wore on me and brought me to understand the limited scope of some people who cannot think beyond their limited experience nor are interested in learning anything other than what they think consumable.
As Latinos we must know who we are and be who we are. So many of us have become assimilated to the degree where we forget our culture, our language and our morals as people who come from a beautiful heritage. We allow others to make us believe that if we blend in and behave that we will succeed because we will be accepted. We comply to the standards and morals of others who don't understand that we are a group of people who believe and are passionate about life. We do not bother to teach our children Spanish because we are ashamed even though we may not like to admit to it. We have been shamed by others to believe that we cannot be full fledged Americans if we speak Spanish. After all "you are in America and in America we speak English".
I recall being shamed by a woman who was already sad enough when she told me that I was the only grandfather who wanted to take my granddaughters everywhere. This because she completely ignored the fact that I had grandkids and never formally invited them to any social occasion. The only explanation for me was that she could not think differently from her limited way of thinking and that what mattered to me did not matter an once to her. In fact what I deduced was that she was jealous because her son did not have children and I did. How dare I be a Latino gay man with children and grandchildren? How dare me think that my grandkids were important enough to get an invitation from her to dinner? What I understood and continue to understand is that I have to know who I am and that the next time I should not get involved with people like her and accept that kind of complete disregard for who I am.
Be who you are my fellow Latinos. Be who you are no matter who you are: gay, straight, Polish, African American or French. Being who you are is being the Authentic You and being authentic to who you are is really everything. Allowing others to shame you for who you are is unacceptable and clearly will undermine that beautiful person you are inside. Speak your language and teach your children your language. Don't let mainstream limited thinkers make you believe that your culture and beautiful language are not meaningful and wonderful. Be who you are my fellow loving, passionate, beautiful and compassionate Latinos and remember that any criticism of who you are is not something we should ever entertain.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
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