The Holiday Blues
We are all too familiar with the stress related to the holidays. We worry about whether our kids will get the gifts they deserve and impressing our mother-in-laws. We often times spend too much money or overcharge on our credit cards to the degree that we are paying for it for the next year. Then along comes the following Christmas and we take another financial blow. It seems like an endless emotional and financial cycle we cannot avoid. For some of us the holidays bring the feelings of loss to a more prominent place in our minds. We think about the people we lost along the way, especially during the holidays and specifically because they died close to the holidays. It feels like something we would like to just skip and go directly to the new year, but we can't. It is in many ways unavoidable. The up side is that we can do some self-work that might help us to get through the hard times.
Some of the basic ways you can handle the holiday stress and the blues is:
1. Take the adults out of the gift equation: Consider being the person in the family who suggests that gifts are only for the children. Ban together as a family to buy one great gift for each child if their requests are expensive items. By taking the adults out of the gift equation a lot of the stress is taken away from the holidays.
2. Propose a gift exchange between adults and buy one gift. If not getting gifts for adults does not work do a gift exchange where you buy one gift per adult. Put a value on the gift of 25-100 dollars. Make it affordable for everyone and agree to not exceed the amount agreed upon. Buying one gift is much more economic and will eliminate some of the stress.
3. Modernize the holiday decor by scaling it down: Consider not doing a holiday tree. Decide to decorate minimally. Ornaments inside a clear glass bowl and holiday garland with candles (use teas lights, they are safer) and mistletoe over the archways will give a feeling of celebration and would be less work. By minusing the Christmas tree you will save time and effort doing something that may feel like too much work. In some cases you don't have the space for a tree and can do something more abstract like a slim tall faux tree in a corner made of velvet or metal. You can create a festive holiday decor without a large tree with all the trimmings.
4. Look at your finances and buy only what you can afford or cash purchases only:
Don't get hooked on the commercial aspect of the holiday season and don't charge anything. Buy only what you can afford in cash. Remember that you will be paying in interest much more than what you bought and that you could be stuck paying for those gifts for the next six months or a year. It is just not worth it.
5. Avoid shopping by purchasing gift cards for everyone: If you don't like the shopping crowd then giving each person a gift card could be a great option. Consider buying the gift cards way ahead of time like in June or July. Gift cards no longer expire, usually don't have a service charge and if you keep the receipt the person can retrieve the value if they happen to lose it. It is so much more leisurely to get others a gift card and many people would love to buy their own gift. It takes the guessing out of it no matter what, even when others ask for a specific kind of gift.
6. If you feel sad or stressed take action: When you start to feel the holiday blues, get the help you need. It may be that you need some professional help and a therapist or support group may be appropriate for you. Talk to family members and admit that you are feeling sad or stressed so that they know it. Sometimes it helps just to be honest about it and others may reassure you. Don't hide the fact that you are not feeling the holidays and if you want to bow out do that. It may be that this is the year that you take a trip to Mexico or to Paris. Take a trip somewhere and don't feel obligated to participate if you are feeling like you cannot do it with ease.
Holidays can be stressful and sad for some of us. Acknowledge how you are feeling and allow yourself space to heal from whatever is effecting you. Understand that you can opt out of the holiday madness. Do not feel like you have to be a part of something that is uncomfortable or unpleasant for you. Happy Holidays Everyone.
Some of the basic ways you can handle the holiday stress and the blues is:
1. Take the adults out of the gift equation: Consider being the person in the family who suggests that gifts are only for the children. Ban together as a family to buy one great gift for each child if their requests are expensive items. By taking the adults out of the gift equation a lot of the stress is taken away from the holidays.
2. Propose a gift exchange between adults and buy one gift. If not getting gifts for adults does not work do a gift exchange where you buy one gift per adult. Put a value on the gift of 25-100 dollars. Make it affordable for everyone and agree to not exceed the amount agreed upon. Buying one gift is much more economic and will eliminate some of the stress.
3. Modernize the holiday decor by scaling it down: Consider not doing a holiday tree. Decide to decorate minimally. Ornaments inside a clear glass bowl and holiday garland with candles (use teas lights, they are safer) and mistletoe over the archways will give a feeling of celebration and would be less work. By minusing the Christmas tree you will save time and effort doing something that may feel like too much work. In some cases you don't have the space for a tree and can do something more abstract like a slim tall faux tree in a corner made of velvet or metal. You can create a festive holiday decor without a large tree with all the trimmings.
4. Look at your finances and buy only what you can afford or cash purchases only:
Don't get hooked on the commercial aspect of the holiday season and don't charge anything. Buy only what you can afford in cash. Remember that you will be paying in interest much more than what you bought and that you could be stuck paying for those gifts for the next six months or a year. It is just not worth it.
5. Avoid shopping by purchasing gift cards for everyone: If you don't like the shopping crowd then giving each person a gift card could be a great option. Consider buying the gift cards way ahead of time like in June or July. Gift cards no longer expire, usually don't have a service charge and if you keep the receipt the person can retrieve the value if they happen to lose it. It is so much more leisurely to get others a gift card and many people would love to buy their own gift. It takes the guessing out of it no matter what, even when others ask for a specific kind of gift.
6. If you feel sad or stressed take action: When you start to feel the holiday blues, get the help you need. It may be that you need some professional help and a therapist or support group may be appropriate for you. Talk to family members and admit that you are feeling sad or stressed so that they know it. Sometimes it helps just to be honest about it and others may reassure you. Don't hide the fact that you are not feeling the holidays and if you want to bow out do that. It may be that this is the year that you take a trip to Mexico or to Paris. Take a trip somewhere and don't feel obligated to participate if you are feeling like you cannot do it with ease.
Holidays can be stressful and sad for some of us. Acknowledge how you are feeling and allow yourself space to heal from whatever is effecting you. Understand that you can opt out of the holiday madness. Do not feel like you have to be a part of something that is uncomfortable or unpleasant for you. Happy Holidays Everyone.
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