Coach Elliott

Anna Nicole Smith was a super model for Guess jeans for five years and a playboy model.  Her fame brought back the idea that beauty could be a size 12 or 14.  She was a cruvy woman who like Madonna recreated Marilyn Monroe into the current century.  Anna Nicole had breast enlargements and did all she could to be sexy and in her eyes a better version than the one she could accept.  Eventually she became addicted to prescription drugs and eventually died of an overdose of these same drugs prescribed for pain and depression.  She, like Marilyn Monroe died very young and to some people's horror she died around several people who were unable to figure it out and help her.  Each of them knew that Anna was addicted to drugs but none of them could stop her death. Marilyn Monroe was an actress who died with the same drug that Anna Nciole died of.  Unlike Anna Marilyn made a lot less money than the two million dollars Nicole made in her first years with Guess ...

We can all have a happier life if we: 1.  Accept who we are and where we are 2.  Embrace the body we are in now 3.  Live in Integrity and truth 4.  Let go of the past and the anger associated with it 5.  Have a practice of self-care and of action I did not one day wake up and think "my life is bad and I am going to make it happy and great".  In fact I struggle often with accepting where I am, the body I am in, saying what I mean, allowing the past to past and practicing good routines that say "I love you Elliott". For many years I kept a secret for the most part and that was that I was unhappy.  I also added insult to injury by saying that where I was at, whom I was with and my life was wonderful when in fact it was miserable.  I rarely spoke my mind or my truth because I was constantly on pins and needles.  I felt like I was in a prison that I created for myself.  I can honestly say today that I am taking back my power and bec...

I am one of many who are proud of Bruce Jenner and others like him.  It took a lot of courage and guts to reveal his secret, one he kept for many many years.  I am very happy about this because this man will give others the avenue to open up and state their true identity.  Others will be able to stand up and be proud of who they really are inside and how they feel inside.  Bruce was a star athletic super star and if he can come out then we can come out too.  None of us ever have to suffer in silence or commit an act of suicide or hate ourselves for any longer.  No matter how you identify it does not matter because there are others like you and you are never the only one.  Even if you were Goddess is there with you cheering you on.  Be your authentic self is what Jenner has shown us all.  His children have shown their love and support for him and it is as it should be.  Like me his children love him exactly as he is and for who he is. ...

This weekend my daughter Camille came to stay with me in my home for a birthday weekend.  She is such great company and I truly feel honored when she takes of her energetic and busy life to be with me.  She took me to the Patten Mansion in Geneva Illinois not far from where I live to eat.  I had a filet mignon and I received a lovely birthday slice of double chocolate cake and a happy birthday tune from her and the waitress.  The large group next to our table wished me a happy birthday as well.  It felt like I was loved once again by people who know how to love.  Being sixty one is not the easiest thing to admit but at the same time I feel very honored and proud to spend it with my daughter whom I love so much.  Just before dinner we went to a sports store I had  been to before and ordered my cool orange and blue gym shoes.  One of many little birthday presents I have bought myself throughout the month.  Monday is the exact date of my bi...

A good morning is when you make a decision to live in your highest vibration.  This means that there is no complaining but rather gratitude and love and forgiveness.  This means that if you go to anger for some reason you come back to your peace and center by telling yourself to come back.  For some it is a mantra that you recite that helps you to come back to a happier and more productive place.  Mine was: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good".  For me this meant that no matter what or who felt like they were attempting to harm me God was going to turn it around and make good of it.  No matter how I perceived my life this mantra helped me to reel it in and to let go of the perception that someone or something could harm me regardless of what as going on. I believe that  we make our day what it is.  We make decisions the moment we awake to either seek the good in others and in situations or be overcome by the negative. ...

This article is for people who are suffering from depression, anxiety or just sadness.  It is meant to help me to clarify things for myself while hopefully helping others who need to have a daily plan.  I truly believe that having a plan is a way to live a life that is difficult for some due to illness or other reasons.  There are some simple things we can do to ensure that we get through that threshold in the morning when we get up confused or feeling like we need some direction. Here are some simple tips that might help you: 1.  Before you get up out of the bed set your intention aloud.  Say what it is that you intend in a positive and affirming way.  Your intention might sound like this: "I intend to live this day fully serving where God presents the opportunity for me to serve".  Or "My intention is to love myself and live this day fully and with compassion for myself and others".  Say it as many times as you feel you need to or until you ...

I like to think that I have never ever used the word hate in relation to anyone, but like everyone else I have.  I even have some people on my list that I think are truly asinine and poor excuses for human beings, however holding on to that thought for more than the time it takes to express it is like drinking poison so I won't elaborate.  LOL, LMAO, OMG and WTF.  Ok, I feel better now. Hate will kill us.  Hate is poison.  That is really all we need to know about hate is it not?  I mean it is so obvious and so simple a fact.  We should know this right?  We should have it down and memorized right?  But the truth is we don't and when we continue to hate we continue to invite hatred into our lives.  We also are not a very good example of what it is to be spiritual.  Hate does not fit the spiritual mold.  Hate is for haters and haters don't get a ticket to heaven on earth.  In fact they do get a ticket to their own form of h...

There is much to be said about having a plan.  I call it an action plan because there must be action steps in your plan and goals that are measurable.  The other important factor is that your plan include your spiritual, physical, emotional, creative and financial steps.  Every aspect of your life is important when devising a plan.  Making a commitment or two in each category is a good start to getting what you want in your life and achieving your goals.  So with all that said let's begin an action plan from the start to the finish line. A: State an overall goal that you want to achieve. B: State the duration of your plan: how long it will take to do the things you state you are going to do. C: Make up an affirmation or statement that affirms what you want to achieve.  Start with the  words "I am" D: State one or two commitments that you intend to make in each aspect of your life and relate each one to your plan of action and the results. E: When...

When someone falls it is up to us to help this person get up.  It is not something that others should have to ask of us.  It is our duty to pick someone up off the ground because that person is our brother or sister.  It may seem to be something we all know yet there are thousands of people who have fallen down and people will literally pass by them, assuming they are drunk or drugged up.  In fact this happened to a good friend of mine who had a heart attack in the middle of the streets of France.  She shared with me that the person who finally called an abulance had noted her designer pretty little shoes and had this feeling that she was not just some homeless or drunk person.  To her amazement she made it to a hospital on time to live but had it not been for that one person she might not have lived. How do we see our brother fall and not pick him up?  How do we actually jump over some body and keep walking?  What is it that makes us so cold an...

I like to think after a number of years that I know what spiritual means yet spiritual can mean different things to different people.  It would be important to mention that spirituality does not mean that a person is religious.  In fact religion and spirituality are two very different things.  Religion is a practice where one goes to a church or reads the bible and it is an organized practice.  Spirituality is the deepest part of who we are inside and we don't have to go to church or practice any religion or belief to be spiritual. Off the top of my head I would say that spirituality is: The deepest part of a human being. A state of mind. A way of being.   When one is spiritual one has a deep feeling at the core of us that is filled with love, faith and joy. We operate from a place of the heart and from a loving place.  If I were to say where our spirit resides I would say in our heart.  That is the main source of life and that is where we feel o...

People need to know your limitations and your limits.  Those are your boundaries and everyone should respect them once you make it clear to them.  There will be people who will not honor your boundaries so be aware that some people will never follow your boundaries because there are people who don't respect any one's boundaries.  As you begin to set boundaries expect people to react to your new approach, especially when they are not accustomed to getting them from you.  Letting people walk over you is a clear message that you don't have boundaries and a clear message that you need to set them.  So how do you set boundaries? 1.  State your boundaries from the onset. 2.  Set them right away in new relationships 3.  State the consequence of crossing your boundaries. 4.  Stick to your boundaries even when you are tempted not to, no exceptions State your boundaries as they arise or if you feel there is a need to do so.  It is better to...

There are basically four good reasons to love you: 1.  You are worth loving. 2.  If you don't love yourself who will? 3.  Love really starts with you. 4.  Hating yourself is a really bad option. You are worthy of loving yourself: The fact is that you have to start by knowing that you are worth loving and that loving yourself is saying yes to your worth as a human being.  Loving yourself is the most worthy cause you can possibly have for feeling like you belong in this world and that you have a space in it and there is plenty of space. If you don't who will? Think about it.  If you don't love yourself no one is going to come along and love you for you.  You have to be the  very first person in line to loving you.  No one is responsible to love you and no one will unless you love you first.  People can sense when you don't like yourself and they will treat you accordingly.  Love you because if you don't love you no one else...

Tonight I attended a Buddhist meeting in a suburb of Naperville.  At this third meeting I have attended I noted the very same thing that I did the first time, a lot of happy people who seemed very much at peace with themselves.  A group of people who seemed very connected not just to each other but to everything around them.  It is as though one is transported to a different world, the one we have been wishing for and the one where people are truly happy.  What is it that makes this particular group of people who are Buddhist so joyful and so self-assured without being arrogant?  What is it about these people?  At one point in the meeting one of the well known elder leaders spoke and if I were to focus in on one thing it would be self-love and loving others.  That you cannot love others unless you love yourself or be joyful around others unless you are joyful on your own.  You and I don't need anyone in our life to be happy even though we are made...

Some days we want to just give up and hide.  Some of us are staying in bed for way too long and avoiding the start of the day.  Others are wasting time watching TV and drinking several cups of coffee when it is already way past the time we should be taking a nice shower or bath and starting our day.  Then there are those who are doing  things like painting and writing their memoirs.  Not everyone is avoiding a start to their day so for those of us who keep going let's talk about the reasons to get jump started into our day and into our lovely life.  After all as long as we are alive there is a reason to keep going. 1.   Your Alive and Worthy:  The main reason to keep going is to send your spirit the message that life is worth living.  You have a reason to be alive and you have many reasons to keep going.  That is the first message you want to send your soul and your heart, the deepest part of who you are.  Be in your knowing that...

There are days when we must decide to drop all the responsibilities and enjoy the day.  I call it "drop everything and dance".  It means it is time to let go of all the bill paying and house keeping and just have some fun by enjoying the moment.  Today is after all Friday and the end of the week.  I for one have spent the week making calls about medical bills,  the cable service and even some Realtors.  It feels like it is time for me to take a break until Monday and so that is what I will do. When you drop everything and dance you do things that are fun and that bring you joy.  You decide that the rest of the week will be all about enjoying every moment of the day and letting go of anything that is not urgent, doing only the things that you must do that really truly honestly cannot wait.  Doing what you would like for a couple of days will rejuvenate you and refresh your start button.  So many times we forget that our bodies and minds need...

In life losing people and situations and even things is natural.  Losing someone we love is going to happen to all of us at one time or another.  Losing a relationship is inevitable at times.  Losing our minds can happen but most times we fortunately do hold on to that part of ourselves.  Losses as I read many years ago in a book called "Necessary Losses" are common and will happen to each of us at various intervals of our life.  How we handle the losses is what is important and what matters.  Handling our losses with some form of patience and self-love is key.  We cannot let losses be interpreted as something that happens because we did something wrong or something that happens because we are underserving or did something wrong.  Often times we even see our losses as a punishment when in reality we did nothing to create a loss in our life.  People will die, people will coward out and abandon their chldren, people will be disloyal and people ...

Life is filled with things we don't know yet we insist on knowing so much of our life.  We want to know what is going to happen to us next.  We believe that if we know what is going to happen we will live a happier life but we cannot always know what is going to happen.  In fact many times we don't know and the not knowing fills us with anxiety, sadness and anger.  We hate not knowing what we don't know and the not knowing makes us fearful.  What if we loose all our job and all of our income?  What if we get sick and end up dying before we get a chance to do what we need to get done?  Yet in the end there is nothing we can do to stop life from happening whether it is something good or bad.  Life is going to happen.  Life is going to deal us some strange and difficult circumstances.  Life is going to catch us off guard and unable to catch the situation and control it.  Sometimes, often times things will happen that we did not plan on...

For many of us starting over again only happens when we find ourselves in a situation where we must.  In a way it doesn't matter whey we start over again but only that we do.  At first we are resistant to doing it all over again but once we accept it we just do our best.  We often think we are not able to or don't know how we will start to change.  Starting again is painful and very honestly it is really hard to do.  We must be willing to go through the pain in order to get to the glory or so some may say. Change is constant yet most of us would rather things stay the same.  We get accustomed to doing things the same way and experiencing life in the same manner day after day.  We go to the same job each day.  We even eat the same if not similar things daily.  Change comes hard for most of us.   We stick to what we know and we seem happy to do so.  The down side to doing things the same way day after day is that we become bored and...

God's plan is often times revealed to us even when we are not listening.  Sometimes that plan comes to us in a dream or because something happens that hits us a little harder.  There are times when God attempts to speak to us but we are not listening.  This is when it is a good idea to stop and hold silence and reverence so as to hear God's message.  I often times have experienced that when I ignore God's message to me I get a harder and more clear message in a form I may not like as much.  I visualize God tickling me with a feather at first, then tapping me with the other end of the feather, then hitting me over the head with a small object, then a larger object and finally a really big object like a bat.  It is not until I get hit with the bat that God gets my attention many times.  I fail to listen to the subtle taps and the soft notices only to find out that in a couple of days I am feeling like I have been beat all over my body.  I feel this...

There are some very poignant things about life that are important to living our life fully.  Sometimes we forget the basics of life and those basic feelings and actions that keep us lifted and help us be more alive and more of who we are.  These basic things help us to live a fuller life and a life filled with good reasons to live.  How we think has a lot to do with how we live.  What we really believe has everything to do with how we live our life as well. Here are four basic important things about life that will help us to live life more fully and more complete: 1.   Awaken to Gratitude:  Get up each day and be grateful.  Be appreciative of all that you have and all that you are.  Count every blessing every day.  When you get up, that very moment that you arise, thank God for what you have starting with the fact that you woke up to one more day.  The very first thing about life is to tell yourself how fortunate you are to be ...

Every day that we get up is another day in our life.   It is a  wonderful chance to do something different with our lives.  It is  chance to have some new experiences and new joys.  We don't have to plan the day but to know that we will be open hearted and willing to have some new adventures happen to us.  Having the willingness to just say yes to things we would normally not say yes to.  If we awaken to the day and are fearless we can enjoy something new and do something new. For me just allowing myself to listen closer and to look more attentively will result in some new experiences that I might not normally have if I were not more attentive, paying attention to what it is that universe is trying to teach me or bring to me that day.  At times it's a new person I meet or just a chance to smile and be friendly with others, practicing my social skills and proving that I can get out of the normal routine and take a chance on being different, learn...

Don Luis Miguel is one of my favorite mentors and spiritual leaders of our time.  In his book the Four Agreements he gives us one life agreement which is "don't make assumptions".  It is sound advise from a man who has studied spiritual principles for many years.  Not only is is good advise it makes perfect sense.  Every time we take something someone does or says personally we make ourselves miserable because in essence we cannot stop people from having opinions of us and making assumptions of us.  In fact there are times when we are the person making the assumptions and by doing so we create this story that is usually false.  We assume people are out to hurt us.  We assume people are out to take advantage of us.  We even assume that others are out to break our heart.  We spend a lot of time uselessly pondering what others and thinking about us or that others are out to do us  wrong.  Nothing can be more harmful than to live a life...

In the book "The Four Agreements" one of them is to "be impeccable with your word".  What it means is to not just be honest but to be your word and to do as you say you are going to do.  It means that you show up and you do the things you say you are going to do and that what you say is always the truth.  Inside this is the fact that you must be your word and tell the truth to the people you love and to the people you come into contact with. When we are not honest we are not being impeccable with our word.  When we lie to someone about something we are not being impeccable and honest with your word.  When we deceive others we are not being impeccable with our word.  And when we omit information we are not being impeccable with our word. The advantage of being honest and following up with what we say we are going to do is that we live a life that is filled with more joy and more connection.  Every time we lie about something we get further away from...

It is not easy being single and sometimes enjoying it is even more difficult, especially because we are constantly being bombarded with images of relationships and being in love.  The fact remains that there are many people who are not coupled and in fact may not ever be in a relationship.  The question and challenge then becomes how to enjoy our life and do so alone.  What are the things we could be doing alone that bring us the most joy and optimize our life?  There are many: 1. Take yourself out on a date : Take the time to take yourself out on a date to a movie, dinner, roller skating or dancing.  Go on a sweet date with yourself planning every single moment as if you were going out on a special date with a very special person: You. 2.   Buy yourself a gift (flowers are great):  Buy yourself a gift every time you get paid.  Take the time to select something that is meaningful like a book or a journal.  It can also be a gift of a beaut...

We can be fearless when all around us there are things going on that may scare us.  We can be fearless in spite of the situations that arise in our life because the fact is that scary things happen all the time.  Finding the bright side of a situation is likely the single most effective way to eliminate fear or at the very least put it aside.  Every time we feel fear we can replace it with a sense of knowing and a sense of fearlessness if we chose to.  Living in fear is a choice and we often chose to be in fear even when we don't have to.    Fear is a state of mind we find ourselves in and that we can find ourselves out of, almost as easily as we found ourselves in it.  Replacing fear with peace, serenity and love takes time and requires us to stop and check in, becoming silent for a little while so that we can find our center anew.  By pausing and taking a time of quiet reverence we can move from the fear to the other side of it. We are not bor...

I love to decorate and have been asked to do it for others.  It is something that has come natural to me and over time I have learned some basic premises about decor that can be helpful to others and save any space from looking bad.  There are those of us who are talented at sewing while others are talented at singing.  Not everyone knows how to decorate but if you follow some simple tips you cannot go wrong. 1.   Harmony : harmonize every room using a theme of style and color.  Rooms should flow easily into one another and should feel like they are all rooms in the same house or space.  The easiest way to dothis is to select two or three colors and use them in different ways in all the rooms with all the objects.  Start by deciding the color of walls and stick to one or two basic colors.  In an open space use the same color and in spaces like bedrooms use colors that are in the same family of color.  Staying on the light side is best: soft...

People often ask me to give them some style tips and of course I am happy to oblige even though I am not sure that they want to hear it.  I send style tips to people when I have a party sharing what the theme of my party is and whether to wear something fancy or casual.  All of my friends and family expect it of me and are never offended by it.  I think the only people who have taken offense are usually people without any sense of style.  Those people will always remain nameless so if you are out there reading this be not afraid.  I am not going to mention any names. Here are some simple style tips I truly abide by:  1.   When in doubt wear black : If you have a question as to what color to wear go with black first and foremost.  Find a lovely simple black dress and heels and throw on some pearls.  For a man a black pair of pants/black suit and white shirt will do the trick every time.  If a tie is required choose a rep stripe patte...

I have so many times been asked about power, mainly people who state that they feel powerless.  My response is more often than not that "I don't have any power".  The longer I live on this earth, in this body and in this life the more I understand how little if any power I have.  After all what does it mean to have power?  For some it is attached to the amount of money they make.  If they make a lot of money then they feel powerful as though they have a lot of power.  My contention is that power does not come from the money you make but rather the empowered way you feel, having nothing to do with financial success or how big a home you live in. Empowered for me means that I am doing things in my life that are not forced and doing things that make me feel happy and as though I am making a difference.  We are empowered when we do with what we have, are in gratitude each day and feel joy about the simple things in life like having a harmonious family. ...